Police in Mississippi say they issued arrest warrants to at least four people who the audacity to cheer for their kids at a high school graduation ceremony this month.

The senior boys of Biglerville (Pa.) High School are all getting ready to dress up in khakis and collared shirts for their graduation ceremony this month, per the school’s dress code. Meanwhile, the girls are getting ready to hide their unsightly “sausage rolls, as Mrs. Elliott calls them” also per the dress code, because everyone knows “you can’t put 10 pounds of mud in a five-pound sack.”

Is it true that community college "takes two years" to complete, and regular college "takes four years" to complete? Not at all! It takes much, much longer.

A young mother graduating from college took a celebratory photo with her baby, and it's causing a huge stir on the internet because she was breastfeeding at the time, and we're apparently still scandalized by seeing part of a breast in a completely nonsexual context.

A Florida senior was barred from his high school's commencement after he sent administrators scurrying to cover up the gigantic wang he'd etched into the graduation ceremony field.

Young Jathan Muhar is graduating preschool in a tough job market, but he's got his priorities in order and knows exactly who he wants to be when he grows up. We could all stand to learn a thing or two from him.

In case you didn't see the selfie liked 'round the world, Emma Watson graduated from Brown University, where she started in 2009, on Sunday. At the ceremony, she sat with a friend who was also seen leaving as part of her small entourage.

Shorter Bret Stephens: You college brats are all lefty molly-coddled pissants. Now, please hire me to do more commencement speeches! Wah wah wahhh, Bret. Wah wah wahhhh.

The senior class vice-president of a high school in Georgia may be banned from her graduation ceremony for using the periodic elements to spell out "Back that ass up" in her yearbook quote.

Free speech on campuses is dead! Didn't you hear? Leftist fascists are forcing universities to cancel commencement speakers that they find objectionable. Others are getting protested. It's awful! Where is the freedom? Actually, the freedom is in the protesting.

A 22-year-old woman has reportedly confessed to making multiple bomb threats to try and cancel Quinnipiac University's commencement last weekend, because she didn't want her family to know she had blown all their money and wasn't graduating.

In the name of dignity, the University of South Florida has issued a notice to graduates asking them to refrain from selfies and other teen-like behavior, including strolling(?), while picking up their diplomas.

In between jabs about the Wahoos snagging the top spot on Playboy's list of top party schools and personal recollections of doing some partying of his own with the girls of Phi Kappa Phi, Stephen Colbert had one pearl of wisdom to impart on the University of Virginia's Class of 2013: Feel free to be self-obsessed.

Dr. Ben Carson, the Johns Hopkins neurosurgeon and rising Republican star, announced Wednesday that he will no longer be speaking at the commencement for Johns Hopkins School of Medicine after making some inflammatory comments about gay marriage. On a Fox News appearance, Carson compared gay marriage to bestiality and pedophilia.

Rapper Drake graduated from high school yesterday. He dropped out in 2001 to portray a fake high schooler on Degrassi.

A teacher at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts gave what may be the most depressing commencement speech ever, reminding graduating seniors that they're not nearly as special as they think they are.

Canadian folk hero Ryan Gosling returned home to his ancestral land Wednesday to attend the graduation of his mother, Donna, from Brock University. He brought Eva Mendes. Canada freaked out.

Okay, so it's graduation time and we Gawker folk have already exhausted ourselves giving you outgoing seniors all our super sweet advice. I'm sure you won't listen to ANY of it, because you're all so damn hungover. So let's spend today craning our necks and checking out all the other grads sitting around you. Graduates fall into very distinct types, and here are a few of them.

The LA Times reports that the Los Angeles Unified School District, the second largest school district in the nation, has proposed significantly lowering its bar for graduation in order to avoid a flood of drop-outs.

This morning in Evanston, Illinois, Northwestern University's 2,800 graduating students gathered for commencement. On hand to give the commencement address? None other than alum Stephen Colbert of the class of '86, who delivered an uproarious 20-minute speech which squeezed in references to campus controversies like "Brothelgate" and a professor's infamous sex demonstration. It's embedded above for your enjoyment.