Kanye West's giant penis did not put a baby in Kim. Kelsey Grammer will marry his mistress. Lil' Wayne's daughter gets diamonds for turning twelve. Demi Lovato hasn't apologized for punching her back-up dancer. Tuesday gossip is momentous.

Christina Hendricks' Christmas tradition is destined for raunchy jokes. Chelsea Handler called Angelina the c-word. Michelle Williams gained 15 pounds for a role, and reveals her un-diet secrets. (Ice cream.) Monday gossip slips a sable under the tree.

Susan Sarandon and her (rumored) boyfriend hit volleys in Miami. Who's planning Kate and Will's wedding? Courtney Love gets priced out. Sunday Gossip roundup is a three bedroom walkup of titillating celebrity tidbits.

Britney Spears (or her imposter) might be a big stoner. Halle Berry's boyfriend gets in trouble with the law. Charlie Sheen tracks down his hooker-snatched watch. Saturday Gossip Roundup is backing over paparazzis like it's Grand Theft Auto IV.

Justin Bieber toys with the outward indicators of sexual maturity. Jermaine Jackson owes $100,000 in child support. Lady says she didn't boink Eva Longoria's husband. Aretha Franklin goes under the knife. TGIFriday gossip.

An unidentifiable, maybe-Miley naked picture circulates the internet. Eva and Tony reunite for lunch. Jessica Simpson proves she's not pregnant by doing shots. Jon Gosselin gets a job. Thursday gossip is old for its age.

Tom sneaks mascara and facials behind Katie's back. Jim Carrey likes kissing Ewan McGregor. Brad Pitt's nose hair secret revealed! Gwyneth Paltrow has a filthy sense of humor. Wednesday gossip ranges from superficial to superficially sordid.

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe pull the plug on their predatory credit card. Lindsay Lohan wants a restraining order against paparazzi. Tom Brady battles male pattern baldness. Brad Pitt's plague of poor fashion choices returns. Tuesday gossip is a lost cause.

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

Lady Gaga and Anderson Cooper are drinking buddies. James Franco continues to be the best at everything. Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal continue their world coffee shop tour. Sunday Gossip Roundup is a perfectly-made fried egg.

Celebrities: They bring their significant others to awkward family Thanksgiving dinners just like us! Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal sipped lattes; Kim Kardashian brought home Halle Berry's ex; Lindsay Lohan saw an old flame. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is eating leftovers.

Lady Gaga cooked up a "little monster casserole." Michael Douglas took his kids to Epcot. Mel Gibson tried to get some (proof that his ex was taking) Oxycodone. Friday's gossip is still recovering from the sweet potato marshmallow casserole.

Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

The man just can't go a day without saying something annoying. Also today: You actually might get invited to the Wedding of the Century, Kim Kardashian is totally doing things, and an in-depth analysis of the Bristol Palin affair.

It's true. We know where and when the amazing ceremony will be. Will you be invited?? Sit by your mailbox and wait! Also today: Miley Cyrus dares to be a teenager, Sandra Bullock is accosted, and Bristol Palin news.

Miley's eighteenth birthday party features bumping and grinding with her mom. Jay-Z shot his brother at age 12. Charlie Sheen's hooker gives an interview. Lenny Dykstra's dog could get repossessed. Just another manic Monday gossip roundup.

Katy Perry boob-gate comes to an end. Some Lindsay Lohan news that should not brighten your Thanksgiving. Everyone loves Prince William. Emma Watson doesn't understand men. Sunday Gossip Roundup will make you think twice about bringing children into the world.

Biological terrorism strikes dancing-based reality show! Lindsay Lohan's loses her last best chance at saving her career. The cabin where Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton: Revealed! Sexiest man alive news! Saturday Gossip Roundup is protecting the homeland.

David Arquette is looking for love in all the booziest places. Tony Parker says he wanted to divorce Eva, too. Miley Cyrus meets a boy. TGIFriday gossip.

Katy Perry's management forces Vh1 to redo the photoshopping of her boobs. Eva Longoria divorced her husband over romantic text messages, possibly to his teammate's wife. Dina Lohan wants to sue Glee. Thursday gossip isn't ready for its close-up.