We are shocked, shocked to learn that Google not only noticed us publishing their internal memo about Googleplex microkitchens — I mean, who cares about microkitchens — but the company is reportedly scared of a "breakdown of trust," violation of the corporate culture, and other words that mean nothing to us godless bloggers.

The snack-and-coffee-filled minikitchens at the Googleplex are "the hottest topic" on one of the internal forums lately, says an internal message leaked to Valleywag. (Indeed, a former employee told me last night that once, an employee e-mailed the entire company bitching that his desk was more than 200 feet from one of Google's cafes.) That's why Google is now putting chefs in charge of the minikitchens at its HQ.

A reader spots the feds a couple blocks east of the Mountain View Googleplex:

Google plans to run 30% of its headquarters' power on solar power, in a typically noble-but-annoying politically correct move.

"Coca Cola is coming to have a meeting onsite at Google on Monday," an employee wrote in this weekend. According to an internal e-mail, "Google is removing all competitors' beverages from the cafes and mini kitchens." Naturally, we got shots of a Pepsilicious Google fridge on a normal day:

• Ex-Microsoft blogger Robert Scoble may miss out on Burning Man, but he'll have fun visiting the Googleplex today with Googler Matt Cutts. Insert cruel "don't empty the snack room" line here, and send phonecam pics of Scoble to tips@valleywag.com. [Matt Cutts, photo by ~C4Chaos]

The Divine Wind of a Thousand Pizzas (delivered by a publicity-hungry dot-com) failed to impress at least one Google employee, who writes in:

BusinessWeek's hype-killing article on Google's product line has everyone buzzing about the company's product cycle. Guest writer Garry Bibb explains the process — it all starts with a Battlestar Galactica marathon and some Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Blah blah, massage therapist, blah blah, mango lassi machine. Yeah, yeah, Google's not really more fun to work at than Yahoo. Yahoo's way cooler:

Who cares about market share and search algorithms — an exhuberant Yahoo intern just inadvertently showed why working at Google totally beats working at Yahoo. Paul Stamatiou blogged his reasons for loving Yahoo without realizing what he's missing at Google.

Now's your chance to raid the corporate snack rooms. Google's hosting a free talk on micropayments at its Mountain View HQ. A reader points to the Bay Pay June 2006 invitation page, not meant for public eyes.

So many creeps on Craigslist's classifieds just want a quick lay or a dark affair ("No one has to get hurt — just let me lie to my wife"). "Strictly platonic" poster Jay just wants to have lunch.

Google Press Day's big finale: a chat with the Triumvirate.

Google's back from break for its Press Squeeze. Journalist Om Malik says the wifi's down, so don't look for too much liveblogging. (But Phillip Lenssen has a great live-blog going at Google Blogoscoped.) So join me in remotely watching the live video feed.

Right, you're gonna wanna watch the live feed of the Google Press Event with me, 'cause that's what we're liveblogging now. At work? I'll try to explain it all as it goes down.

8:00-9:00 AM: Journalists pour onto the Googleplex for Press Day 2006.
9:00 AM: Hand-picked collection of Valley's major press is in the hands of Google.
9:01 AM: Live feed window opened. Voice message received: "This stream is not available. Please try again later."

From Google to Valleywag (and over 60 other media hacks), 4:30 PM:

Conflicting reports continue to stream from the Googleplex about Candygate. Despite claims in earlier leaked memos, another Googler has spotted M&M's of both major varieties. (No word on whether they're Van Halenized.

Google replaced the snack-room M&M's with cereal! As Valleywag reported, the Google snack-rooms are being diluted. Google says it's for health reasons.

This is exactly why Google needs a gossipmonger on the premises for Google Press Day — to investigate hard-hitting tips from readers like this (links mine):