A new survey of investors around the world finds that people have a very simple expectation when they invest their money: they want to get rich, soon, no strings attached.

“The 20 most profitable hedge funds for investors earned $15 billion last year while the rest of the industry collectively lost $99 billion.”

Former Hewlett-Packard chief exec Carly Fiorina and retired Johns Hopkins neurosurgeon (and idiot) Ben Carson have officially joined the 2016 presidential race. They’re up against Senators Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, and Rand Paul for the GOP nomination.

Oh my god. Have you cleaned out your truck recently?

A nonprofit group called Commercial Closet is trying to persuade the ad industry to be less stereotypical when it comes to portraying LGBT issues (THE GAYS). That would mean not making ads like that one Nike ad with the balls in the face or that other Snickers ad with Mr. T and the gun aimed at the possibly gay individual. Considering how much progress the ad industry has made with the race issue, we'd bet on South Carolina levels of sensitivity for the foreseeable future. Keep your gay cooties out of Bill O'Reilly's mayonnaise, homos. [Ad Age]

A new newspaper-insert magazine called RiseUp, which will feature "race-related content," is launching next month. It will have a circulation of 4 million, appearing in papers like the NY Daily News, Washington Post, and Chicago Tribune. If RiseUp helps drive a true national conversation on race, it will be a good thing. But it will have to break the First Law of newspaper insert magazines: "We all suck." [FOLIO]