Public Policy Polling dove into the surreal with its latest survey, asking voters, "If God exists, do you approve or disapprove of its performance?" She—that's she—scores a 52% approval rating, with 9% disapproving.

Can you guess who has been spotted in Lenoir County, North Carolina? That's right, it's Jesus again, in his familiar "on the crucifix" pose. (Get a new pose already, Jesus!) On toast? No, in kudzu! He is everywhere.

Old grifting fundie fartsack Pat Robertson is getting tired of saying it over, and over, and over again, whenever some gay stuff comes up in the news, so please pay attention this time: The more gay couples are allowed to pick up marriage certificates at the court house and file their taxes jointly, the more likely it is that America's Christian God will destroy our civilization in a fit of rage. Thanks for nothing, Andy Cuomo.

It is clear that NBC hates God, after the network removed the words "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance during its broadcast of the U.S. Open. Can't NBC just be free to hate God like every other freedom-loving corporate person? Indiana Sen. Dan Coats says no! This omission must be explained in excruciating detail to top federal authorities.

Patriotic Americans everywhere rushed home from church yesterday afternoon in order to tune into the "U.S. Open" golf tournament, knowing that god, in his infinite beneficence, would understand that enthusiasm for the "U.S. Open" is part and parcel of doing His work. Imagine their shock, then, when the NBC broadcasting network failed to include the words "under god" in their introductory segment for the "U.S. Open"—which, naturally, was a sickeningly sweet montage of pseudo-patriotic images up to and including American soldiers toting around carefully folded U.S. flags, as schoolchildren reverently recited the Pledge of Allegiance. Sickeningly patriotic, yes; but not sickeningly religious. To recap: Innocent, golf-loving American children were subjected, against their will, to a television montage of relentlessly patriotic symbology that did not include the words "under god" in its rote reenactment of our national indoctrination rites.

A new study says atheists have "far better" sex lives than their religious counterparts, of whom 80% say they feel profound guilt after the fact. (I guess the other 20% get off on knowing that Someone is watching.) [Daily Mail]

Good news for the oxymoronic field of creationist paleontology: A newly discovered cave painting in southeastern Utah sort of resembles a long-necked dinosaur, which means humans and dinosaurs coexisted in Utah 6000 years ago, back when the planet was new, say officials from the Creationist Museum of Petersburg, Kentucky.

The New York Times trips and stumbles all over itself today in an entire article about songs with the work "Fuck" which does not contain the word "Fuck." Your prayer is answered, NYT: "Bless You," the Christian remix of Cee-Lo's blasphemous hit. Completely soothing to the easily-offended sensibilities of New York Times editors! (Except for that keyboard player.)

Click to viewPeople around the world have been struggling to comprehend the tragedy that hit Japan on Friday. Even Fox News personality Glenn Beck! "I'm not saying God is... causing earthquakes," he told his Monday radio listeners. "I'm not not saying that either."

A delightful young YouTube psychopath, user tamtampamela, has recorded a video in which she praises her bloodthirsty Christian god for killing all those atheist Japanese. This falls roughly in the same category as all the Facebook statusers who cited Pearl Harbor as a reason for not giving aid to the tsunami relief effort. Here are some of your terrible citizens, America! You may now resume enjoying your day.

The ol' Catholic church is revising the Bible again. Should that even be allowed? Anyhow. They don't want any bad PR, for Jesus, so they're removing the term "booty," as in "stuff you steal after a war," and replacing it with "spoils" of war. And look at this bullshit:

[Kevin Smith takes on protesters from the Westboro Baptist Church outside the screening for his church horror movie 'Red State' at Sundance yesterday. Image via AP]

This year's Golden Globes ceremony has ended, but that doesn't mean we have to stop talking about it! From Ricky Gervais' controversial turn as host, to Jane Fonda's nip slip—and much more!—here are the show's most memorable moments.

There's never a shortage of people around the world claiming they've seen apparitions of Jesus and the Virgin Mary. But did you know that for a brief time in 1859, Mary hung out in Wisconsin? Well, it's true.

"We are told the fight was caused by difference of views of the Scriptures." These Christian soldiers seem to be following all the rules. [KOB via Christian Nightmares]

This time, it's really happening. On May 21 of next year, Jesus Christ shall swoop down from the heavens on a white steed to snatch up all True Believers. That's right — the Rapture is coming! Where do you stand?

You know the annoying pro-athlete habit of thanking God for, well, everything? Buffalo Bills Wideout Stevie Johnson just took that in a slightly different direction, after dropping a potentially game-winning touchdown pass:

Oh Fox & Friends, you never fail us. Recently, lemon-scented floor mop Gretchen Carlson invited a little boy and his father on to discuss the child's near-death experience and how, the kid claims, he went to heaven and saw God.

"Don't visit www.ComingNovember2010.com," said a billboard posted by a road in Smithfield, North Carolina. The message was signed, "Satan." Come to find out it's just a dumb church website. That Satan really isn't as bad as they say. [News-Observer]

The annual godless atheist humanist War on Christmas starts just as early as the Corporate American Christmas Season, and with equal fervor. For at least the third straight year, atheists have chosen to assault god-fearing Americans, with advertisements. Godless advertisements.