After watching Glenn Beck for three months (do not try this at home), a common theme emerges: it seems like he doesn't really want you to watch his show.

Fox News host Glenn Beck just launched a news site—a place for "original reporting, insightful opinions and engaging videos." Currently, seven of the front-page articles are about Glenn Beck and his projects. Let's take a look!

Glenn Beck—while comparing himself both to Obama and Reagan—acted as his own biggest cheerleader in a show-long tirade wherein he asserted that his Restoring Honor rally did not receive coverage accurate enough for his liking.

Huffington Post blogger Beau Friedlander lost his posting privileges today for offering $100,000 for a Glenn Beck sex tape. Initially indignant, he is now begging for forgiveness.

That Tea Party Guide to Washington for Glenn Beck's rally should've warned attendees in advance about the new five-cent bag tax in the District. But it didn't, and look what happened: stunned Tea Partiers hurling sandwiches at deli employees.

Sarah Palin, taking to Twitter, is furious at mainstream media "sheeple" for calling the major rally in Washington D.C. this weekend "irrelevant." But why is she crediting the rally to famous musical artist Beck instead of Glenn Beck?

Glenn Beck says he regrets calling Obama a racist last year. Someone tell this guy.

We were all delighted by the incomprehensible racist (?) t-shirt a guy wore to Glenn Beck's "Restoring America" rally yesterday: ""BLACKS OWN SLAVES IN MAUITANIA (sic), SUDAN, NIGER, & HAITI." It appears Racist T-shirt Guy is a minor D.C. celebrity.

Reader J. Peach took this picture at today's "Glenn Beck Restores America" poetry slam and cookout. All of this man's racist shirts that actually make sense were at the cleaners. Update: The mystery of Weird Racist T-shirt Guy deepens!

Breaking news, live from the Glenn Beck "Restoring Honor" rally in Washington D.C.! (Actually, we already left.) The speakers, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin and some baseball players, want Americans to believe again. In something. Yeah... it was vague!

Tomorrow, Glenn Beck intends to save this nation from communists and other ne'er-do-wells at his "Restoring Honor" rally, live from Washington D.C. Will you be there? Because we will! Oh, yes! In the meantime, here's what to expect.

Tomorrow is the day we've all been waiting for—Glenn Beck's big fat Conservative "Restoring Honor" rally at the Lincoln Memorial! Today he gave us a lil' peek into what crazy topics he'll be discussing on the steps.

Do you remember when Jon Stewart skull-violated Glenn Beck in the most epic way possible? (If not, it's here.) Tonight, Stewart gave an encore, with a segment that tore down Beck's upcoming rally, university, credibility—everything, really. Video inside.

[The preparations for Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally at the Lincoln Memorial this weekend brought a young man to tears today in Washington. We're right there with you, kiddo. Image via Getty]

Today at Gawker.TV, Never invite Glenn Beck to a party, Stephen Colbert goes off on John McCain's flip-flopping ways, David Archuleta pops up on Tosh.0, and Drew Barrymore reveals the pet names she and Justin Long have for each other.

Glenn Beck says a lot of crazy things, but that doesn't mean he's always gloomy! Once, he went to a friend's party and—oh, he ruined that, too. When it comes to party-time, Glenn turns into Debbie Downer.

Today at Gawker.TV, Glenn Beck says he's the reason America thinks Obama's a Muslim, what's next for Bored to Death and Always Sunny, Louis C.K. finds Osama bin Laden, and a sensitive Brian Kilmeade introduces America to his teddy bear.

Beck does preface his arguments with "Obama is not a Muslim" but turns around and starts a 15-minute segment on why America thinks Obama is a Muslim. Although this clip's not 15 minutes long, some of the highlights are included.

Yesterday's tour bus hostage fiasco in the Philippines that ended in eight deaths was big news. Luckily, we have reporters like CNN's Rick Sanchez and his crew to make it relatable: "It really does look like Speed."

Teabaggers will soon descend on Washington for Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally, taking place at the site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "Dream" speech, on its anniversary. What precautions should they take to avoid being murdered in this deadly town?