Today we bring you the story of the world's glammest lady: a 30-something Monégasque who drank nothing but soda every day for 16 years.

At the National Magazine Awards ceremony in Manhattan's Marriott Marquis hotel ballroom, famed New York Magazine editor Adam Moss took the stage with chocolate on his face, almost certainly from the Chocolate Pot du Créme dessert course served only minutes before. It had gotten into the stubble under his lower lip in a smear that covered a goodly part of his chin, giving him the appearance of a man casually accepting an award for Best Magazine Section just after being punched repeatedly in the mouth. The three sizable television screens placed at the back of the stage enlarged Moss's chocolatey visage so that it could be clearly seen from the back of the room. Though his cacao calamity was the subject of many whispers amongst the assemblage, its existence did not appear to register in the consciousness of Adam Moss whatsoever. He left the stage without incident.

Glamorous Conde Nast magazine Glamour had a round of layoffs in 2009 and a momentary environmental hypocrisy scandal last year, but otherwise has been blessedly free of gossipy leaks. Until now!

In your sunny Monday media column: Bill Keller talks mistakes, Paul Begala's new gig, HuffPo is still hiring, Glamour's flagging sales, and Jeff Zucker thinks Katie Couric is boring at night.

In your overcast Monday media column: a new yuppified AP Stylebook, NewsBeast's ad troubles, HuffPo keeps on poaching, Carol Smith to Hearst, and Glamour's iPad revolution.

Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting America this week to figure out the best places to install giant hydroelectric dams once China conquers us. And tonight is the much-hyped State Dinner. Wanna know who's sitting with the president?

Some high school kids in a Princeton summer journalism camp came to NYC to report a story about scofflaw cars and buses idling illegally on the city streets, damaging the environment. Caught red-handed: Conde "Fuck the Ozone Layer" Nast.

Last night was football night and magazine night in America! New York hosted both the National Magazine Awards and the first round of the NFL Draft. Which one was better? Which was more embarrassing? Which had Anna Wintour?

Seven months ago, Glamour introduced us to 27 year-old Lera Loeb, a Ukranian girl who found love and a rich American husband through a marriage brokerage service. Now she's working on a book and a television series. What's her secret?

[Rihanna points to the miniature trailer park that her twister of a gown is going to destroy after speaking at the Glamour magazine Women of the Year Awards at Carnegie Hall last night. Image via Getty]

Another month, another glossy fashion magazine spread for Marissa Mayer, this time in Glamour. We get it, already: the Google veep is a computer scientist in Oscar de la Renta; a nerd invited to prom. Why embellish her achievements?

In your dangerous Tuesday media column: A media employee cries for help from the office bathroom, more details on yesterday's Glamour layoffs, a dangerous liberal media pumpkin, and a newspaper gets cheaper, on purpose.

We hear Wired had its own round of editorial layoffs today. What's going on at Conde Nast? A very bad Monday. In a very bad month. Let's review:

Conde Nast layoffs never stop: A tipster tells us that Glamour had at least another half dozen layoffs today, including several editors. The magazine already had one round of layoffs earlier this month. If you know more, email us.

The Conde Nast layoffs are proceeding not like a Band-Aid ripped off quickly, but rather like a Band-Aid pulled off all too slowly. It hurts! Today, we hear, Glamour had its own layoffs. Including a reality TV star! UPDATE: Confirmed.

Just after announcing it would bring in McKinsey & Co. for some horrific cost-cutting, Conde Nast has released its official projections for its crucial September ad sales. We knew the numbers would be bad; they lived up to expectations.

It's spreading. Earlier this month, Vogue was infected with the deadly Mexican Pig Flu. Did you imagine that they could contain it? They could not.

The ranks of Glamour dating bloggers are nothing if not distinguished. There was tardblogger Alyssa Shelasky, whose dim-witted adventures in wannabe social climbing were amply documented here. Then there was dudeblogger Mike Cherico, fired for being a womanizing jerk who sparked an insurrection in the Glamour.com comments. Now there's Erin Meanley, pictured, who just debuted with a post about being 29 and not having a husband, already. Sigh. An even more ominous sign: In an email to friends, reproduced after the jump, Meanley explains that, now that she's a dating blogger, "I need some help with pimpage. Set me up!" Well, at least she's being honest, somewhere, about the transactional aspect of her "dating." We've redacted Meanley's email address, but no doubt she'll be combing the comments here for top-shelf prospective mates, so feel free to make like a pimp there.

Hey, non-white women: Glamour is not racist, despite what you may have read! Why, just this week the magazine hosted a cookoff for "ethnically diverse" couples. One is happening tonight! Half the contestants will make roast chicken, half will make meatloaf. And probably none will be fatties, since everyone was asked to submit in advance "j-peg photos of each of you (300 dpi)- 5 x7." Glamour's panicked email seeking contestants, reprinted after the jump, made its way to at least one minority journalism association, so hopefully the magazine was able to contact some of those elusive non-whites "outside of the [sic] NY and NJ."

Practically all of our usual "objects of derision" are in the NYT this week! First, there was the Julia Allison-as-Carrie Bradshaw debacle, with her beta female Mary Rambin pictured, and former Glamour dating blogger (although we once called her a specialblogger) Alyssa Shelasky offering quotes... And now, Mike "Edgy English Teacher" Cherico, the fired Glamour dudeblogger who freaked out women across L.A. county, is featured 'cause he's looking for an agent! For a book! A very, very special book about "the rise and fall of a dating blogger." They quote Alyssa again. (Second verse, same as the first!) "I would say I wrote a blogging column for Glamour, and actresses and models would give me their number," Cherico told the Times. Really? That works? [NYT]