According to the Guardian, Catholics in St Louis, Missouri, find themselves confronted with an ethical dilemma over whether they are permitted to buy cookies from the troublingly feminist Girl Scouts. “Each person must act in accord with their conscience,” the archdiocese advises.

As e-cigarettes enjoy their rise in the market, issues of questionable legality have been brought to the forefront. It was announced today that sweets companies like Tootsie Roll have sent cease and desist letters to manufacturers of the liquid nicotine that goes into e-cigs, as they were naming their products after trademarked sweets.

Katie Francis, a sixth-grader from Oklahoma City, has broken the record for number of Girl Scout cookies sold—ever. Avert your eyes if you're feeling undervalued today. Her sales were to the tune of 18,000 boxes, which she sold by asking "everyone she knows to buy them."

An Elmo street performer—known for spewing hate speech, shouting anti-Semitic diatribes, and generally terrorizing small children who know that Elmo the kindest of souls—just went about attacking a new group of kids. The detestable street creature, whose name is Dan Sandler, was yanked back into a courtroom for allegedly attempting to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts of America.

A band of rowdy hamburglars has ensured that a troop of Girl Scouts in Washington state will never trust anyone or love anything ever again, after breaking into a troop leader's garage and destroying around $2500 worth of Girl Scout cookies.

Just when you thought the Boy Scouts of America had a monopoly on organizational misbehavior, CBS Los Angeles discovered a video showing more than 13,000 boxes of unsold, unexpired Girl Scout cookies knowingly trashed last May. How many innocent Thin Mints have to die to satisfy your corporate greed?

Did you know that the Girl Scouts, America's rag-tag crème puff children's militia, are rolling out a new cookie this year?

Get ready for the most adorable true crime story you'll hear all day. In Texas, a troop of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside a Wal-Mart were robbed by thieves who took the girls' cash box. (But weirdly enough, no cookies.) It's actually kind of a sad story — they never got the money back. But the no-nonsense way the victims went after the robbers is pretty cute.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took a moment (in his one thousandth show) to profile two young Republicans who are about to burst onto the national scene as they have already proven themselves perfect ideologues in Colbert's view. Indiana's Bob Morris is opposed to the homosexual cabal that is the Girl Scouts and New Hampshire's Kyle Jones who opposed mandatory a mandatory lunch break. The future of the GOP is bright indeed.

This just in: Indiana state Rep. Bob Morris has "gone viral" for a sending a ranting letter to fellow Republican lawmakers warning that the Girl Scouts of America is "making their daughters more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda." He wrote it in an attempt to stop a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts.

The fine folks at BBC News have since had a change of heart, but when this story on a sex-ed program for Boy and Girl Scouts first ran, it was accompanied by the regrettably chosen photo you see in the screengrab. Unless I'm getting this totally wrong, and knotting techniques have officially been replaced by obscene hand gestures as their badge-earning skill of choice. "What did you get this one for?" "The Shocker!" [BBC via The Daily What]

Buying Girl Scout cookies is a little like buying drugs: there's no real regulation, the prices are wildly inflated and it's all about having connections. If Tagalongs were sold at bodegas, the whole culture surrounding them would be different. Instead, buying Girl Scout cookies, which are no worse than regular cookies (and in fact are a treat that some people enjoy, in moderation, more than regular cookies) has its own stigma: the stigma of hanging out with 11 year-old girls. So now some decent citizens, who just want to provide ordinary people easy access to Thin Mints, have started selling them eBay, which some people are taking issue with. Look, "girls" can't corner this market forever. Legalize.