It's a big day for the world's most eccentric billionaires: Disney has announced plans to open up membership to its super secret exclusive restaurant/probable sex thing Club 33 for the first time in ten years.

In the wake of the New York County District Attorney's decision last month to launch a criminal investigation into Joe Muto, a.k.a. the Fox Mole, for the alleged theft of videos from his former employer Fox News, we thought it would be worthwhile to find out what we could about what relationship, if any, exists between the DA's office and Roger Ailes' operation. So we used New York's Freedom of Information Law to ask for correspondence and emails between Fox News employees and staffers in the DA's office. Today they refused our request.

It's not quite pulling passengers out of a burning airliner, but Dustin Hoffman is getting credit for saving the life of a jogger who collapsed while running through London's Hyde Park last month.

Okay, so it's not quite as racy as her twit-nipslip, but TV star AnnaLynne McCord, best known for her role as Naomi Clark on the CW's reboot of 90210, surprised many when she posted a self-pic to Twitter last week that shows the normally dolled up actress without a hint of blemish concealer.

Hello out there. Look. I'm not going to beat around the bush or try to soft-pedal this point right here. Justin Bieber? This kid is not right. Not right at all.

It is an afro made of feathers. New York Magazine's Daily Intel said that this other hat was the most ridiculous hat but that is incorrect because this hat is an afro made of feathers and that hat is a Kate Gosselin haircut made of feathers at best.

Chris Harrison, host of ABC's The Bachelor and its various spin-offs, is separating from his wife Gwen after 18 years of marriage, People magazine reported last night.

The Obama Administration has released roughly 200 pages of documents found in Osama bin Laden's Abbottabad compound as part of the ongoing Murderversary Spectacular. Here are the highlights:

A coroner has found that a British spy whose naked corpse was found locked inside a duffle bag, itself inside his bathtub, was "likely" killed in a criminal act.

Edvard Munch's 1895 crayon drawing "The Scream" sold for $119.9 million Wednesday night, making it the most expensive artwork ever sold at auction.

Spanish director Eugenio Mira, known for his outlandishly plotted films, is teaming up with equally intriguing psycho-auteur Rodrigo Cortés (Buried) to produce a movie starring Elijah Wood about a pianist who can't stop playing the piano or he'll die à la Speed.

St. Camille Donatacci of Jersey has heard your prayers, children, and will return to the Real Housewives a martyr, forced to tarnish her golden shoulders by rubbing them against those sullied by Maloofian greed.

Ocotomom Nadya Suleman has apparently just signed on to do a..."masturbation video" for "an online adult entertainment company" (read: porn site). Good morning! News of the video comes to us via TMZ, so take it with a grain of salt, but on the heels of her recent noody shoot with British magazine Closer, it's not such a wild stretch of the imagination.

America is currently embroiled in a student loan bubble and when it pops, wooo buddy. *Makes whistling sound, gazes off into distance*... let's just say that I hope you can use some lacquer and a long stick to turn your college diploma into some sort of edged weapon to fight off the starving graduate student food mobs. Let's just leave it at that. Let's not get explicit, except to say that banks will literally take your mother's home if you try to not pay them back, so, you know, the weapon thing is maybe the way to go.

Hyman Strachman is a 92-year-old WWII vet from Long Island who has spent nearly a decade supporting the troops in his own special way: By sending them free-of-charge bootleg DVDs of first-run films by the box-load.

Tomorrow evening, the cream of our nation’s mainstream media celebrities, political celebrities, and celebrity celebrities will put on tuxedos and evening gowns and gather in a ballroom in Washington, DC to mutually give one another handjobs, in a mostly metaphorical sense. This is because the most powerful elements of our nation’s DC press corps are all “on the same team” as the people they cover (politicians) and the people they idolize (celebrities). This is called the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, and it is the single most revolting annual gathering of pseudojournalistic cocksuckery in all the land.

Both Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan will attend this Saturday's White House Correspondents' Dinner as guests of Fox News.

America's worst ambassador, Kermit the Frog, has come under fire for violating German law after he appeared on television hawking the theatrical release of his film The Muppets.

Virginia Fike from Virginia […Fike] bought two lottery tickets from a truck stop a few weeks ago, one of which turned out to be worth a million dollars.

Borat, a film once banned in its "native country" of Kazakhstan, has actually done wonders for the former Soviet republic, according to Foreign Minister Yerzhan Kazykhanov.