Paul Allen has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. It's more tough news for the Microsoft co-founder, who has overcome more than his share of health problems before.

[A rabid teenage girl tries to get the ultimate souvenir when she attempts to rip off Robert Pattinson's arm at The Twilight Saga: New Moon premiere in L.A. last night. Image via Getty]

[Photographers take pictures of the space shuttle Atlantis as it launches in Cape Canaveral, Fla., today for an 11-day mission. Image via Getty]

[Blake Lively completes her transformation into Serena Van Der Woodsen by wearing inappropriate cleavage, a too-short skirt, and a clueless expression to the The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee premiere afterparty in New York last night. Image via Getty]

January Jones was offered a shot to prove that she's not the worst part of Mad Men when she hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend. She totally blew it. Will she be able to recover?

China banned these "Oba-Mao" T-shirts, which were selling at a brisk pace in Beijing, last week in an apparent effort to avoid embarrassing Barack Obama during his visit. The weird thing is, in China, it's a pro-Obama shirt.

[Pink piano, hot guy in a tux, fashion, butterflies, handicrafts—Lady Gaga's performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art anniversary gala in L.A. last night was pretty queer even for her. Image via Getty]

Unflappable (except by geese, ha) hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger is not sitting idly by while fancy writer William Langewiesche (pron. "Lain-guh-wees-chay-guevara") offers up his trashy "scientific theories" about Sully's famous crashed plane. Everyone listen, Sully is saying something confrontational!

If only the biggest mistake (or eight) of your life was worth "millions of dollars." Porn distributor Vivid Entertainment is making a play to distribute the former Miss California's sex tapes—which it allegedly has in its possession, already.

Sarah Palin writing a book was asking for trouble. Here it is. McCain campaign emails have leaked, and they're completely damning to the validity of the book's narrative. Involved: the "whack" Saturday Night Live, radio pranks, and McCain's campaign manager.

Levi Johnston is coming. Not to dinner with Sarah Palin, but to the pages of Playgirl. The pictures have now been taken, and a detail-laden missive from the Dr. Frankenstein of Playgirl, Daniel Nardicio, has been whipped out for us.

[A wax statue of Paris Hilton is one of the attractions at the newly-opened Louis Toussaud's Waxworks in Thailand, the fifth international branch of the company (not to be confused with the more popular Madame Tussaud's). Image via Getty]

[Alien princess Daphne Guinness asked to be taken to our leader and they took her to Marc Jacobs, queen of the fashion gays, at the launch party for NARS 15X15 in New York last night. Image via Getty]

Bloomberg, the new owner of Businessweek, is dumping Maria "Contractually Obligated to be called 'Money Honey'" Bartiromo from her gig as a BW columnist, Business Insider reports. That's not the worst decision in the world.

Imprisoned journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were freed from North Korea's clutches in August. One week later, Ling—the more telegenic one, with the famous sister—was shopping a book. But Euna Lee beat her to a book deal!

Katie Couric made a list of the "most powerful" people in media for Forbes and they're all... Jews. Kidding, only six of 11 are Jews. The real power belongs to computer nerds. Couric mentioned zero old media people.

[A curator directs the display in London today for the Royal College of Art Secret Postcard Exhibit, which is selling postcard-sized work by famous artists, whose identities won't be revealed until the sale is complete. Image via Getty]

[City mouse Tinsley Mortimer hangs out with small-town boy Levi Johnston last night at the awards show our dirty sibling Fleshbot put on [NSFW, naturally] at The Box. Our comprehensive party report is over here. Image via Getty]

Pattinson says Zefron takes his breath away; Mike Tyson goes to jail for beating up a pap; Carrie Prejean's ex says she's lying about the sex tape, then sells some pictures to TMZ. Welcome to Thursday's gossip!

In his announcement that last night's broadcast would be his last for CNN, Lou Dobbs reassured viewers that he is "considering a number of options and directions" next. Which one will he choose? Let's set the odds.