The New York Times' list of New Year's Resolutions from NYC notables included calls to help the poor, improve transportation, fund education, and bolster the city's image. Then there was evil billionaire plutocrat and opulent party-thrower Stephen Schwarzman's suggestion:

The Wizard of NYoz emerged today to celebrate violating previous thresholds of American Plutocracy further than they've ever been sullied before. What'd he have to say? That he'd be modeling our city after—what else?—Bloomberg, Inc.

[Diners enjoy lunch in front of a mural of Central Park at Tavern on the Green today, its penultimate day of operation before it closes for good after tomorrow's New Year's Eve party. Image via Getty]

After the dismal opening of atrocious musical Nine, the Weinstein-hating community is on tenterhooks awaiting at last the loathsome duo's spectacular implosion. Alas, it appears that the Weinsteins will dwindle away with a whimper, not disappear with a satisfying bang.

Currently under house arrest in a comfy chalet in Gstaad, Switzerland, convicted sex offender Roman Polanski has some very unique dilemmas, but he has solutions—he's suing the photographers who take his picture and sending warm wishes to supporters.

Mark Ebner of Hollywood Interrupted has posted a letter contradicting many of the accepted versions of events surrounding the Tiger Woods scandal. The letter is purportedly from Tiger's neighbor and close confidante of Tiger's agent. UPDATE: And a probable hoax!

So, the Nigerian man detained Sunday for locking himself in Northwest Flight 253's bathroom for an hour, two days after some other Nigerian tried to blow up the same flight? Definitely not a terrorist. Just a remarkably inopportune bathroom break.

Some guy tried to light an explosive devise, ended up producing a mediocre fireworks show inside of an airplane. So, he failed, ended up with burned balls. Now we have heroes and tighter air travel regulations. Also: he was Al-Qaeda.

[Stranded travelers fiddle with their hand-held devices in Penn Station today when all trains out of the city were suspended for nearly three hours due to an electrical problem. Image via Getty]

They must be deeply, deeply ashamed of their split, since it happened this summer and they decided to announce it today, on the wasteland that is Christmas Eve Eve. Who is going to know now?

[This overly ornate house is one of the many on The Boulevard Christmas Lights Display in Melbourne, Australia. We want to live there. Image via Getty]

Albrecht is the new CEO of premium cable channel Starz! Well, looks like we finally have an answer for how long it takes Hollywood to forgive you for beating up your girlfriend in public. It's about two-and-a-half years.

The FBI has released 333 pages of files on Michael Jackson. We're reading them now and will do a post later this afternoon. But if you want to take a look as well, please let us know what you find.

[Designer Narcisco Rodriguez looks on as club promoter Suzanne Bartsch, Marc Jacobs, and gym owner David Barton pose at David Barton Gym's annual toy drive. This is how they do Christmas in Chelsea. Image via Getty]

[When you're trudging through slushy intersections on the way home tonight, just remember how beautiful the fresh snowfall was on Sunday morning, captured here in the East Village. Image via Getty]

If your definition of cute includes Barack Obama and small children, go read Margaret Talev's report of Obama's visit with DC kids: "he asked a kid who wants a cell phone, 'Who you gonna call?' Kid: 'Everyone.' POTUS: 'Like who?'"

The Box is opening in Moscow! Amy Sacco is still going strong in London. Looks like Manhattan's party scene is better in other countries than here. But get ready, along with the "new Beatrice," 2010 is bringing a reopened Bungalow 8.

Wow. Talk about burying the lede. Obama and Clinton went BAD. ASS on some sucka climate change opposition. The two've been chipping away at this Copenhagen summit, but it took them busting down a door to get things "handled." Observe:

Disgraced NYPD Police Commissioner/villain Bernard Kerik was this close to a gig under Dubya as Homeland Security Secretary. Now: he's getting ready to serve hard time for eight different fraud convictions. The emails that brought him down are now public.

[A group of journalists catch some z's waiting for the end of negotiations on the twelfth day of the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, Denmark. Image via Getty]