Harold Ford has defended himself against carpetbagging by saying "I pay taxes there, and once you pay taxes there, you feel like a New Yorker." So why won't he say whether he's ever filed a New York tax return?

A 28 year-old Haitian man named Edward Muncie was pulled from the rubble yesterday after being trapped for four weeks(!). May we just say "god damn?" In less uplifting news, the earthquake's death toll is now 230,000.

The more bored you are, the more likely you are to die early, a study says. It may be because boredom causes you to stop exercising and eat donuts. Or it may just be that it sucks to be bored.

Nuclear Wintour may be blocking SuBo from Vogue—but her motive would be pure. Rachel Uchitel gets a job, Madonna gets a new beau. Is the "oral surgery" delaying Lil' Wayne's incarceration for his grill? Wednesday gossip cometh.

Rumors that the New York Times will take down David Paterson have spiraled into a factless, "self-referential frenzy," says the New York Times in a factless, self-referential blog post that adds to the frenzy and clarifies pretty much nothing.

[Go ahead laugh at this man falling over in Sheep's Meadow in Central Park during a 1993 snow storm. It won't be so funny tomorrow when you try to trudge your way to work through the snow. Image via Getty]

Due to the ominous forecast for tomorrow, New York City has already ordered a preemptive snow day for public schools. Great way to rob these children of one of the greatest feelings that they'll ever have, Bloomberg.

Sarah Silverman unleashes the rage of a thousand indignant female fans on an ex-boyfriend. Brangelina sues News of the World for the break-up rumor. I hereby nominate Kevin Federline to date Kate Gosselin. Tuesday gossip just wants to be loved.

Twenty-seven percent of American adults would rather spend Valentine's Day with a pet than a human partner. To those of you who just thought the unspeakable: You disgust me. [NYP]

WPIX says the New York Times' resignation-worthy takedown-to-end-all-takedowns of David Paterson will now appear on Wednesday. If it doesn't, we're sure it will come out on Thursday, or maybe Friday. Saturday could work, too. And Sunday's always good.

There was inevitably some cultural friction when Apple's secretive CEO took his new iPad around to New York's professionally indiscreet media. Exhibit A is a single tweet from a Wall Street Journal editor, which purportedly made Steve Jobs go ballistic:

André Leon Talley, Vogue's editor-at-large-and-in-charge, has signed on to judge three "cycles" of Tyra Banks' glam reality schlockfest. He says Anna Wintour was OK with the idea and he had couture gowns made for the show. This is gonna rule!

New York Gov. David Paterson consulted with "key Democratic leaders" over the weekend to discuss either a) his imminent resignation pending a New York Times report that he is a corrupt snuggling swinger or b) just talk about stuff.

Senators and Federal employees are taking a snow day, with three-foot snowfall blanketing the Atlantic seaboard from New Jersey to Virginia. As America braces for an "encore storm," one major dilemma remains: Which cute nickname won the weather system?

So: E!'s running this story today about Justin Timberlake accepting Harvard's Man of the Year award—called the Hasty Pudding award, apparently—and it appears to be part of some joyously homoerotic Ivy League ritual of fun. It looks awesome.

Last night Hollywood's disgraceful frat boy older brother Charlie Sheen called the cops to say his Mercedes was stolen. At the same time, it's On-Star device called the po-po to say the car was wrecked. Only we know what happened.

[Snoop Dogg gave Darth Vader a tour of Times Square this afternoon to help the Empire finalize their plans for a full-scale invasion. Image via Getty]

Steve Jobs visited the Wall Street Journal and New York Times in recent days, say sources at the papers. Also, New York reports the Apple CEO showed up for a secret media dinner.

After yesterday's nicknames post, I received several indignant emails about leaving out perhaps the most elite nicknamed person of all time: J.D. Salinger, who—as readers of tributes to him know—was called "Jerry" by friends. But there are more.

Animal New York says this photo of Lady Gaga from the Grammys definitely proves she does not have man parts. As Gawker's resident vagina expert, I know this is a real vagina. The problem is, it's not the real Gaga.