Highfalutin' editor Tina Brown and her even more highfalutin' husband, "Sir" Harold Evans the Elder, are the featured guests on an upcoming one of those celebrity cruise things. How delightfully low-rent!

86-year-old New Jersey Sen. Frank Lautenberg is apparently a Lady Gaga superfan. He and his wife attended a concert earlier this year, and he's hosting a fundraiser at an upcoming D.C. show. Still: McCain/Snooki is weirder. [Image: Getty]

Compensation consultant Johnson Associates released a report saying Wall Street bonuses will likely rise this year, some as much as 15 percent, thanks to "evolving legislation" in Washington and the financial sector's recession-busting awesomeness. Here's to a job well done!

Jasonbateman.com used to link to a gay porn hub. But in advance of his new movie, The Switch, Bateman's lawyers made the gay porn site go away. This is like the time our name linked to a gourmet cheese importer.

Internet fandom has existed since the dawn of the Internet. But Justin Bieber's fans have pioneered a strange new form: Justin Bieber micro-gossip, which painstakingly chronicles the obscure controversies and characters only a true Belieber can follow.

[Workers repair one of Big Ben's four faces. Watch out, worker! Image via Getty.]

Bill O'Reilly thinks Jennifer Aniston glamorizes single motherhood. Now, Aniston fights back: "Many women dream of finding Prince Charming… but for those who've not yet found their Bill O'Reilly, I'm just glad science has provided a few other options." Burn?

LiLo got a good deal by being allowed to serve most of her sentence in rehab at cushy UCLA Medical Center. Now, the prosecutor on Lohan's case says Lindsay will probably be released before her court-ordered 90 days are up.

[A couple of tourists reenact the famous Time Square kiss from V-J Day under a statue that's been erected to celebrate its 65th anniversary on August 14. Image via Getty]

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has denied Jersey Shore denizen Nicole Polizzi's application to trademark her nickname, Snooki, for use in books. Why? It appears that a cartoon cat named Snooky beat her to it.

Congress has passed a $600 million border security bill, sending additional troops and weapons and death planes to defeat the Mexican Menace. So, now that they've gotten their "war stuff," will Republicans work with Democrats on comprehensive immigration reform? Heh.

After being accused of sexual harassment by employee Jodie Fisher, HP CEO Mark Hurd got a $28 million severance package. Fisher? Now working for her mom's New Jersey staffing agency. Hopefully some of those Body of Influence residuals are coming.

An ex-New York mayor flipped off a protester today at Charlie Rangel's birthday party. Alas, it wasn't Giuliani. It was David Dinkins. Remember him?

[A trader on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange scowls as the closing bell rings. He's sad because the Dow lost 265 points today. That means we're all poor again. Image via Getty]

Vogue editrix Anna Wintour wrangled Mayor Bloomberg and all the city's fashion luminaries to her press conference today for her faux charity, Fashion's Night Out. It's going to be bigger than ever, and you're invited to the fashion show!

Larry Ellison has had it: The Oracle CEO is flame-mailing journalists left and right this week in what looks increasingly like an online rampage. He might be worth $28 billion, but that doesn't mean Ellison has to take your crap.

Anti-mosque fever is all the rage nationwide, not just in lower Manhattan. Everyone's doing it! And now the American Family Association, a religious right heavyweight, has taken it to a new level: no more mosques in the United States, period.

[Ashley Olsen tells Harper's Bazaar she would love to see the first lady wear her and sister Mary-Kate's fashion line. Considering they wear outfits like these, we don't think simple and elegant Michelle is gonna bite. Image via Getty]

After their brief Twitter courtship, John McCain talked about Jersey Shore star Snooki's arrest this morning, saying, "I kind of think she might be too good looking to go to jail." He does like his ladies on the orange side.

Not only does no network want to buy the proposed reality show wherein Levi Johnston runs for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, now they're getting mean about it behind his back. Let's look at the nasty things Hollywood types are saying.