When Las Vegas police found a bag of cocaine in her purse, Paris Hilton said the purse belonged to a friend. But earlier this summer, she tweeted a picture of her "new Chanel purse." Did Twitter just solve a crime?

Irish fans were so irate that Guns N' Roses (or Axl Rose and his current back up band) were late to a gig, they booed and thew bottles until the band left. Finally, the appropriate response to Guns N' Roses!

Red state rabble rouser Sarah Palin—who only recently discovered the joy of language—took to Sean Hannity's radio show today to rant about the "impotent, limp, and gutless reporters" who "slay" her.

It's true. Yoda has looked up to the heavens and declared this true. Also today: up-and-comer Anthony Mackie lands another role, a promising movie stalls out, Tom Cruise gets a sexy sidekick for his next Mission, and Twilight news.

In your tripping Thursday media column: Bill Keller hollers back at the WSJ, Sharon Waxman's upset at every little thing, National Journal keeps hiring, and the Deseret News welcomes its future as a Mormon PR operation.

Men use cosmetics these days. Okay, fine. "Do you!" as we always exclaim, followed by a Z-shaped pattern of finger snaps. Unfortunately, guys seem to have a bit of a problem owning up to their makeup fetish.

Four years ago, Rupert Murdoch-owned UK tabloid The News of the World got caught hacking the voicemail of "hundreds of celebrities" and other public figures. Now, the full extent of the hacking's coming out—and it's bad. Amazingly dirty, actually!

The hunt for Puppy-Throwing Girl just got a lot more explosionier: Michael Bay, director of Victoria's Secret commercials and giant robot movies, has placed a $50,000 bounty on information leading to the arrest of the famed animal abuser.

We already knew that Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn's new book would contain crazy stories about Anna Wintour, but he's also going after Isaac Mizrahi, Martha Stewart's daughter, Bravo, some of the Project Runway contestants, and even his own mother!

Julian Assange's alleged sexual crime against a Swedish groupie is more complicated than Lindsay Lohan's probation. After launching rape charges—then dropping down to harassment—Sweden is back to accusing Wikileaks' megalomaniacal leader of rape. Know more? WikiLeakiLeak it. [AP]

[Darth Vader approaches stormtroopers in the treacherous hive of scum and villainy known as Los Angeles. Actually, it's impersonator Chris Mitchell, protesting a crackdown on costumed characters. But wouldn't it be cool if it were actually Vader? Pic via Getty.]

If the pictures of Calvin Klein's 20-year-old boyfriend we showed you earlier weren't revealing enough, don't worry. You can see more of him in some of the gay porn that he made. Don't worry, we're keeping it safe for work.

[A lifeguard hides from the hot sun under his brightly-colored umbrella on the beach at Coney Island today. Image via Getty]

[Mayor Bloomberg, who can't make a public appearance without shoving food in his face, gets some napkin assistance while eating a slice at the opening of Italian food superstore Eataly in Manhattan today. Image via Getty]

California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman reported for jury duty, and made it into the pool for a trial. Asked whether anyone had scheduling conflicts, the eBay billionaire said she was busy running for governor. She was neither selected nor excused.

Democrats are going to lose every congressional election, basically. Not only have Republicans taken a record-breaking lead in generic ballot polling, but new numbers from "battleground" Ohio shows voters preferring George W. Bush over Barack Obama, 50-42.

Today, the Associated Press surveys all the miraculously adorable things we've learned about the Obama girls' lives in the White House, and all of it is cute. All of it. Even Malia's braces are adorable. How is this possible?

Earlier this summer, we started seeing pictures of designer Calvin Klein trotting around town with a 20-year-old model named Nick Gruber. We couldn't find much information on Gruber, but it looks like we finally found his very revealing modeling portfolio.

Boys all over New York are copying Justin Bieber's iconic mop top, a look he stole from lesbians. Like we said, they think it's cool and chicks dig it. But what does this mean for their future?

The increasingly important festival is in scramble mode after a customer at the main venue for their 9/9-9/19 movie party complained about bedbug bites. How'd they get there? Well, the Degrassi kids were just in New York. Filthy teens.