Elisabeth Moss files for divorce. Jailbound Lindsay Lohan gets a facial. Michael Jackson's kids will take the stand to discuss his drug use. Tuesday gossip puts its best face and worst faith forward.

Who: Seymour is a model known for her scantily clad Victoria's Secret ad campaigns, her nude portfolio in Playboy, her series of rock star boyfriends, and messy marriage to mogul/art collector Peter Brant.

This is a historic night! Currently, #getsomejustin is a trending topic on Twitter: It's the first Twitter trend started by Justin Bieber fans with the express intent of tormenting Justin Bieber. The Bieberacolypse has begun.

Congratulations, Gays! Your problems are over now that Lady Gaga held a rally in favor of repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell. Equality, she says, is the 'prime rib of America,' and everyone deserves to wear a "meat dress".

[Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad couldn't get by without his trusty earpiece today when he visited the United Nations for the start of the three-day Millennium Development Goals summit, which focuses on global poverty. Image via Getty]

To boost sales, Wal-Mart is looking to open smaller stores in urban areas, and the chain is planning several 20,000-square-foot outposts in Queens and lower Manhattan. Great, now everything will be a Duane Reade, Starbucks, bank branch, or Wal-Mart.

Model Stephanie Seymour and her paper mogul husband Peter Brant called off their divorce today. They now say they're reconciling, which is strange given how intense the battle was. Sadly, this means we won't get to watch the juicy he-said-she-said.

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that dog-loving New York Post columnist Cindy Adams has been absent from the paper for months. She was sick! Now she's back! With a deeply disturbing column of hospital erotica.

[Russell Brand wonders whether his contract has a clause for live animals at the pre-party for the premiere of Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole. Image via Getty.]

We'd forgotten it was a state, but now we remember that it is and we wish it wasn't. Let's take a look back at how this all happened.

TMZ claims that Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test last week, which means she could go back to jail for 30 days. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this girl? If prison and rehab didn't help, she's doomed.

The filing deadline for Chicago's 2011 mayor's race is November 22, with a Democratic primary in February. Not far away! So White House chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel, should he run, would have to leave "relatively soon" — before the midterms, probably.

Just three days after she wore it to the VMAs, Lady Gaga's meat dress rose again at Jeremy Scott's Fashion Week presentation. It's like couture Jesus. Personally, I prefer Scott's ticket stub ensemble or the chaps-Speedo-tank top combination. Screw Gaga.

Before anti-masturbation advocate Christine O'Donnell won a Republican Senate primary, she was a Catholic Columnist! And in one 2003 essay, "The Women of Middle Earth," she analyzed the sexy sexy ladies in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. What's her take?

Hey, what's the deal with all these NYC criminals wearing New York Yankees hats? Could it be the ubiquitous and overwhelming popularity of the Yankees in NYC, where they're based? That's a boring theory. Can't we blame Jay-Z somehow?

Ann Coulter mistakenly raged against "Michael Gross" in a column yesterday, but she meant "Michael Joseph Gross," the author of a recent, damning Sarah Palin profile. Now author Michael Gross has been receiving insane hate mail, and isn't happy.

Can you spot the difference between these photos of world leaders at the Middle East peace talks? That's right! One was photoshopped by Egypt's state-run newspaper to put Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in front of the group instead of behind.

"Everybody in the world knows you don't believe anything on Wikipedia," Rush Limbaugh told his listeners last year. So, uh, it must be embarrassing for him that he just used Wikipedia as a source—and got his facts wrong.

Cardinal Walter Kasper, who helped plan Pope Benedict XVI's visit to England, will no longer be accompanying the Pope on his journey, "for health reasons." Certainly not because he just gave an interview comparing Britain to a "third world country."

Google issued a short statement yesterday confirming our report about David Barksdale, the ex-Google engineer fired for violating users' privacy and spying on minors. But the statement did little to answer some big questions about Barksdale's conduct and Google's policies.