[There's a tropical storm approaching Florida (above), a heat wave broiling L.A., and a tornado warning in effect for parts of the Northeast. Someone call Al Gore, because the weather apocalypse is happening right now. More pics inside. Image: Getty]

The Supreme Court decided today that it will consider if dearly departed model and reality star Anna Nicole Smith should get part of her oil tycoon husband's billion-dollar estate. The funny thing about this case is everyone involved is dead.

A new study shows that accidents caused by texting drivers actually increases when the activity is prohibited by law. That's because people send text messages, but try to get sneaky about it. We suggest threatening thumb amputation for all offenders.

David Simon, creator of The Wire, was among 23 recipients of the $500,000 MacArthur "Genius" grant. Clearly the MacArthur committee spent all last week watching The Wire instead of choosing geniuses and did this to justify their procrastination.

Former Haitian presidential candidate and Fugee Wyclef Jean has been hospitalized for "stress and fatigue," in addition to "headaches." The simple fact that those are all often euphemisms for more scandalous conditions should not be construed as meaning anything. [Billboard]

Celebrities: scaredy-cats! Turns out it's not just paranoid right-wing action star wannabes like Roger Ailes and Sean Hannity who are licensed to carry guns. So do a host of other New York celebrities. What is Marc Anthony so scared of?

U.S. Marshals are currently auctioning off jewelry seized from Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's now-imprisoned swindler ex-boyfriend. Anne's old jewelry is fetching only paltry prices. Bid, for the good of the U.S. taxpayer! Photos and prices below.

Comcast said today it will replace outgoing NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker with Comcast COO Stephen Burke, when Zucker leaves at the end of the year. Comcast hopes Burke will lead NBC into "a new era of growth." [Bloomberg]

The hooker who will soon feel the wrath of David Beckham's legal team, Irma Nici, is a total liar, says UK tabloid News of the World. The funniest part of the story? They call In Touch a "downmarket" magazine. Ha!

Katy Perry has a date with an alcoholic cartoon character. Octomom held a yard sale. Michael Lohan said something about God. And will someone please get old man Kelsey Grammer some underwear? Sunday Gossip Roundup is going commando.

Twitter god Ashton Kutcher might not be as influential online as you think, according to a new study by scientists from Northwestern University. Wait, we need scientists to tell us that Ashton Kutcher is a moron? Thanks, science!

[Jesse Eisenberg (Mark Zuckerberg), Andrew Garfield (Eduardo Saverin) and Justin Timberlake (Sean Parker) at the after party for the New York Film Festival premiere of The Social Network at The Harvard Club last night. Photo via Getty Images.]

[Michelle Obama welcomed 32 women—including the famously flamboyant first lady of Cameroon, Chantal Biya—to Blue Hill at Stone Barns in Westchester county, NY, today for the United Nations General Assembly spousal luncheon. Another picture below.]

Collect all four Lindsay Lohan mugshots, and get 10 percent off your next dimebag of cocaine! At top left, Lohan's newest booking photo, taken after she was sent back to jail today for failing a drug test.

Lindsay Lohan clearly thought she was getting off easy today, but after admitting to failing a drug test—thereby breaking her probation—the troubled starlet has been ordered to go back to jail. Update: The decision has been reversed.

This morning, Scott Jones, the TV blogger who broke the news of Jay Leno's return to the Tonight Show, reported that CNN president Jon Klein will "be fired" today. Well—he just forwarded us Klein's farewell memo. It's below. [UPDATED]

Who: Real estate developer Mortimer B. Zuckerman is the chairman of Boston Properties, one of the largest real estate developers in the United States, and the owner of U.S. News & World Report and the New York Daily News.

Disgraced former New York governor Eliot "Three a Day" Spitzer has spoken out about his old nemesis (and Democratic gubernatorial candidiate) Andrew Cuomo, calling him "the dirtiest, nastiest political player out there." Wait a second... oh nevermind. [NYT]

For days, Gmail has been displaying scary red banners above certain users' inboxes, warning "Your account was recently accessed from China." So, now you at least know if Chinese hackers are spying on your Gmail.

[Bill Clinton teases Web impresario Arianna Huffington at the final day of the Clinton Global Initiative. She gave a speech about ending poverty by not paying writers for content or something. Image via Getty]