"'We know what it tastes like,' said Vermeulen, referring to victory." Fauxhemian kickball's back.

Remember 19 year-old South African sprinter Caster Semenya? She's the Lady Ga Ga of sprinting: Her lady-ness is questionable! Now, the International Olympic Committee has ruled to establish "gender-test" centers to make sure female athletes aren't actually dudes in dresses.

There are many reasons to mourn the slow death of the newspaper industry — first and foremost the hordes of people losing their jobs. The disappearance of all-expense-paid journalist conventions masquerading as "major assignments" is not one of them.

[Jason Schwartzman looks a little lost in a sea of green at the Jets/Dolphins game at Giants Stadium yesterday. Image via Getty

We're not sure why, but athletes often celebrate big wins by squirting one another with exploding booze, as the Phillies did after beating the Rockies, which means the team stands a chance of making the World Series. Or something.

Some scoffed when Brett Favre again came out of retirement and signed with the Minnesota Vikings. Now Favre's having the last laugh. With tonight's win against his old team, the Packers, Favre's now defeated every NFL team. Collective crush, commence.

In their prime, National Football League players are hailed as athletic heroes. Then the cruel hand of time turns glory into cerebral disintegration. And the League just shrugs in confusion.

Remember how Serena Williams went crazy and threatened to make a line judge choke on her balls and everyone was outraged by this American idol's unladylike behavior? Well, none of that matters to Tampax, which considers Williams a menstruating hero.

We now know the secret of Roger Federer's success: Anna Wintour! The Vogue editrix has been entirely devoted during the entire U.S. Open, but left during his final set against Juan Martin del Potro yesterday. And then he lost. She-devil!

Serena Williams has been fined over $10,000 for mouthing off to a U.S. open lineswoman who called her out on what appeared to be a foot fault. Her ensuing rant, say officials, was "unsportsmanlike." Isn't that foul? [LA Times]

Caster Semenya is the most important athlete of our generation! The world at large is quite literally in an uproar over the allegations that champion runner lady Caster is "intersex," with testes and no ovaries. Will South Africa go crazy?

BBC announced that they may show the 2012 Olympics in 3D. Because, you know, why not?

Whoa, hey, back up, what? We thought it was super crazy that South African sprinter Caster Semenya had to go through complicated tests to prove she's actually a woman, just because she....whoa, she's not actually a woman!

South African lady sprinter Caster Semenya kicked ass as usual at the world championships and her countrymen are saying: 'Stop asking if she is really a girl, Europeans! We don't give you gender tests just because you're pussies.' [AP]

A sports story that could be of interest to even the non-athletically inclined: Is this superstar lady runner really a fella? And why does a "gender test" take "several weeks" to complete? What are they looking for down there??