Just nine short years after Washington intern Chandra Levy's highly-publicized murder, Ingmar Guandique has been convicted for the crime. That means it's officially time to stop thinking her old boss and lover Gary Condit actually did it. [AP]

Her Royal Majesty turns 83 today. Feel free to use this an excuse to take your British friends to lunch and order a celebratory cocktail. Others celebrating today: Charles Grodin is 74. Filmmaker John Cameron Mitchell is turning 46. Andie MacDowell is 51. Patti LuPone turns 60. Author Nell Freudenberger is 34. Ugly Betty's Eric Mabius is turning 38. Tony Danza is 58. Iggy Pop is turning 62. Former congressman Gary Condit is 61. The Cure's Robert Smith is 50. And Tony Romo, the NFL quarterback who has to put up with Jessica Simpson for so long now, turns 29 today.

An illegal immigrant — and not Rep. Gary Condit — is expected to be arrested for the murder of Chandra Levy who was having an affair with the California Congressman when she disappeared in 2001.

Fantastic news, America-our constitutional right to repeatedly call a man a murderer has been upheld! Former congressmen Gary Condit, who allegedly caused 9/11 (j/k Gary!) sued Vanity Fair scribe Dominick Dunne for defamation, because Dunne kept claiming he knew that Condit knew stuff he wasn't telling about the murder of former Condit intern/paramour Chandra Levy (which Condit is totally responsible for, allegedly). Dunne went on the tee-vee and said "I think he knows more about what did happen than he has ever said," so the judge dismissed the suit becuz "I think" means it was a constitutionally protected statement of opinion, not assertion of fact. Or, as the judge put it, "Dunne does not suggest that his opinion statements are based on any additional facts not known to the public." This is terrible news for everyone, as now we all actually do have to be careful to use those stupid weasel words. Like "allegedly"!

· Dominick Dunne, distressed over the Gary Condit lawsuit, cancels public appearances. [Page Six]
· Vogue is featuring plus-size model Mia Tyler in its April issue. [Ed. note"plus-size model"? Are we sure Anna knows about this?] [Page Six]
· The pot haze at Guastavino's was pretty thick on Sunday, but Presidential cousin Billy Bush swears he didn't inhale. [Page Six]
· Weinstein and Spielberg call a truce to support a "Best Director" Oscar for Martin Scorsese. [Page Six]
· Pete Hamill's New York novel, Forever, is being optioned and former Tri-Star Pictures Chairman Mike Medavoy and his wife Irena are suing Botox maker, Allergen. [NY Daily News]

Excerpts from a radio interview with Dominick Dunne that has precipitated a lawsuit on behalf of Gary Condit:
· "Now some of this I can't explain, and I don't want to get into any trouble saying. But..."
· "And at one point he said...or words to that effect. And I wrote all this down at the time...[but] I can't vouch for any of this."
A horse-whisperer's tale trails Dominick Dunne [NYT]