If you've ever wondered what separates New York's toughest accent (The Bronx) from its second-toughest (The Rockaways), how East Villagers talk differently from their counterparts on the West, or why Long Islanders sound so flabbergasted all the time, allow Fred Armisen and his considerable improv skills to demonstrate.

For many people, curling is the most confusing Olympic sport. Luckily, here's Sir David Attenborough, the famous British maker of nature documentaries, to explain with some voiceover commentary. Sort of.

While visiting Germany today, Russian President Vladimir Putin was confronted by a topless protester from the organization Femen. This is the face he made in response. Here's a GIF:

Who doesn't love the Ikea Monkey — the seven-month-old Rhesus Macaque found wandering around a Toronto Ikea yesterday in a shearling coat? ("His favorite," apparently, according to his previous owners who were relieved of him following the Ikea incident.) Everyone loves the Ikea Monkey, which is why Ikea Monkey is now a meme. Here are some of the best Ikea Monkey memes.

What is Honey Boo Boo, if not America's greatest public intellectual? And what is Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, if not an audiovisual genealogy of continental philosophy? And what is the internet for, if not GIFs that combine high culture and low culture to reveal the instability at such a binary's heart, and also for cheap laughs?

Here's the final episode of Sex House, the Onion-produced series of YouTube shorts documenting the adventures of "six sexy singles" who "move into America's hottest mansion meticulously designed for only one thing: sex." (If you haven't watched the rest of the series, you can catch it all on YouTube; start here.) It's a reunion show, of course — bizarrely, jarringly chipper after the dark, J.G. Ballard-rewrites-No Exit feel of the first "season" quickly took after the premiere.

Heh heh. "Color" can have two different meanings. Click the screenshot to enlarge, read from the bottom. [Business Insider]

A tipster forwarded us this voicemail with the note: "This has been going around quite a few agencies. Basically, this woman from Ohio leaves a voicemail for a crazy pitch for Chewy Granola bars. Listen to the voicemail when you have a sec!" We couldn't put it better ourselves. Qua qua qua Quaker Chewies/Are are are so delicious/Qua qua qua Quaker Chewies/Come on now, let's go get some.

Check out this video of an unbelievably wasted girl tries to have sex with a tree after getting in a fight with it, at Ultra Music Festival 2012, as a crowd gathers in a circle chanting "fuck the tree." Download our free drugs sex tree fight Megaupload Ultra rave ecstasy sex. Free Ultra 2012 download fuck the tree rave music Skrillex Bieber. Drugs Tree. [via Hipster Runoff]

That's a theme explored by graphic designer Viktor Hertz in his series of Honest Logos. Notably absent, however, is the Gawker logo. What should that one say? [Flickr via ANIMAL]

Do you remember your first word? I can't recall mine, though I do know that my little sister's was "Duck." For baby Ellie—the star of this video—however, her utterance is a bit more... ah, f*ck it, just watch.

While we feel for the girl in this video (she'd just had her wisdom teeth removed), we can't help but laugh at her reaction to the procedure. One eye inexplicably open? Check! Incoherent babel? Check! Poor—albeit funny—thing.

The rest of the best top comedy videos from this week can be found over at Splitsider, including a sucky Valentine's Day, an awesome Big Momma parody, and one miserable bear. [Gizmodo] Gizmodo at 02/28/2011 16:14:46

In an obvious play on Lady Gaga's entrance to the Grammy Awards, Conan was carried out by his crew at the top of his show last night. As he put it, it's his "Lady Gaga entrance with zero cholesterol."

After seeing his grandson's new haircut, this Russian man doesn't just type ROFL, he literally rolls on the floor laughing for a full two minutes. See Internet acronyms come to life!

If you're familiar with Rich Juzwiak's blog, fourfour, then you undoubtedly know about his "weirdest cat in the world," Winston (catch up here). But did you know that Juzwiak has another cat, Rudy, who really likes to guard socks?

Meet Fozzie! Fozzie is a cute dog. Here's a video of Fozzie's owner trying to get him to come with on a trip home from wherever they'd found themselves—alas, Fozzie was tired. Fortunately, it was hilarious. Watch inside.

Saturday Night Live newbie Jay Pharoah treated the Money Making Jam Boys to a few of his impressions that haven't been heard yet—including impressions of Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Family Guy's Stewie. Here's hoping Lourne's not pissed!

The very-funny Michaela Watkins plays the obsessive hand model Ellen Sirot in Funny or Die's latest video. Inside, she details all of the ways she keeps her perfect, pristine hands out of harm's way.

According to his nephew, actor Leslie Nielsen has died of pneumonia in a hospital in Florida. I was going to say that Naked Gun used to be my favorite movie, but who am I kidding? It still is.