· Will Smith re-teams with his Pursuit of Happyness creatives for Seven Pounds, the story of a guy who falls in love while trying to kill himself [Ed.note—Isn't it a little tacky to be announcing a suicide movie so soon after the Owen incident? Just sayin'.], hoping that audiences will shed just as many tears watching Smith nobly overcome personal adversity as they did when he was hugging his kid while sleeping in that filthy Happyness bathroom. [Variety]
· Audiences will get a chance to see David Duchovny try to fuck away the pain of being a writer for another twelve episodes, as Showtime gives Californication a second season pick-up. [THR]
· Apple keeps trying to drive away the Hollywood content partners that just want to love them, proposing to cut the price of TV episodes to 99 cents. [Variety]
· Rupert Murdoch gets a pay raise to $24.3 million per year, but still officially makes less than News Corp second banana Peter Chernin. [THR]
· And in other continuing-cinematic-love-affair news, Joaquin Phoenix and director James Gray can't get enough of each other, teaming up for the third time for the drama Two Lovers. [Variety]

The American Idols Live Tour, currently winding its way around the country and dropping its spaceship of Earthly karaoke delights tonight upon Worcester, MA, offers fans of Fox's reality behemoth the opportunity to get within screaming distance of the previous season's top 12 contestants. But as Sanjaya stands alone under a pink-gelled spotlight, pitchily singing to half-empty arenas about the "Man in the Mirror," organizers are wondering what happened to the throngs of teenyboppers who dependably lined their wallets in past years. From USA Today:

"Family hour"—the sacred block of TV programming between 8 and 9 p.m. that for generations has given parents a handy tool for avoiding direct and awkward communication with their children—has been found to contain higher incidents of sex, violence, and cursing than ever before, a study conducted by the Parents Television Council has found. From the Reuters report:

It's been months since the modest trickle of swag into Defamer HQ has yielded an item useful or interesting enough to survive longer than thirty seconds before finding its way into the trash can (seemingly each week, the UPS guy gets to hear our anguished cry of, "Fucking hell, another Mad TV screener? Is that show even still on?" before taking two steps backs towards the safety of his brown truck), but just moments ago, Fox delivered a winner to promote the 20th season of everyone's favorite shirtless-rednecks-denying-domestic-battery-accusations series: a keychain alcohol tester which, in the words of the enclosed note from the show's executive producer, "might prevent your being included in a COPS cameo." Finally, someone really gets us!

With the family-friendly nature of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium probably precluding the possibility of a cutting-edge web campaign featuring clips of Dustin Hoffman trying to blow away the child patrons of his magical toy store with a gun made of enchanted Tinker Toys, the marketers at Fox Walden have decided to instead gently push the envelope of the print medium, bringing the first! ever! ad that uses scented ink to simulate the smell of cake for understimulated LAT readers. Adorable!

· Realizing that no matter what their vision was going in for a long-planned, big-screen adaptation of Dallas, the final result would be hilarious, Regency and 20th Century have finally decided to just give up and officially make it as a comedy. Betty Thomas will direct, and John Travolta will still star as JR Ewing, playing the part in only a slightly bigger fashion as a nod to the project's new direction. [Variety]
· Once again, the DGA refuses to allow For Your Consideration DVD screeners to be sent to members for their yearly awards, forcing guild members to schlep out to screenings to see their peers' work presented as it was intended. [THR]
· Following the less-than-blockbuster results of promotions for movies like Akeelah and the Bee and Arctic Tale, Hollywood is discovering that Starbucks might not be marketing monolith that they'd had hoped it would be. Several studios are now considering scaled-back versions of the failing Starbucks experiment, such as planting paid confederates to sit by the door of The Coffee Bean and loudly shout into a cellphone about how much they loved a partner's movie. [Variety]
· It's about time someone made a RenFair comedy*: Universal buys the Rainn Wilson project Renaissance Man, about two community theater actors who hide out a renaissance fair after thinking they've killed one of their co-stars. (*For real; and no, we don't count that one part in The Cable Guy.) [THR]
· Focus Features accepts the MPAA's NC-17 rating for Ang Lee's erotically charged espionage thriller Lust, Caution for "too many scenes of artsy-fartsy fucking." [Variety]

· Paris Hilton goes to the WOW Report's gym, where her workout is monitored by both bloggers and sneaky paps: "Then, across the way, I notice a guy sitting down on the Pectoralis Major machine dressed in jeans and black shoes. He pretends to pump some iron. This is suspicious as everyone knows the Pectoralis Major machine has been out of commission for the last six months. Suddenly, the dude pulls out a telephoto lens camera from his backpack and starts snapping away at Paris while she's mid bench-press! A couple of gays shriek and point at the photographer, and within a few minutes he is escorted from the gym by a staff member."
· Here's a list of things you can do in the same amount of time Nicole Richie spent in jail.
· Anchorwoman almost definitely would have lasted longer than one episode if Steven Spielberg's name was attached to it.
· It's truly the end of an era: Jenna Jameson undergoes a sure-to-be controversial de-bazooming procedure.

And almost as quickly as it began, it's over: Anchorwoman, Fox's bold reality TV experiment in which they sought to find out what happens when a busty L.A. bimbo with zero broadcast journalism experience is placed behind a local news anchor desk (instead of some other busty bimbo plucked from the state beauty pageant circuit), has been pulled from the network's schedule after posting "dismal" ratings its premiere night. In its place will be Til Death reruns. As sad as the news is, no one can say the writing wasn't always right there on the wall—or, more specifically, the Fox Fall Preview '07 website: "How will it all turn out? Only the ratings will tell, so stay tuned for the next ANCHORWOMAN: Lauren Jones." (On a personal note, we watched, and actually enjoyed it—particularly potential breakout star Stormy the Weather Dog, who is infinitely funnier than Brad Garrett, and at the very least should get a talent holding deal out of this.)

· The TV Academy continues cracking down on "the rampant proliferation of the producer credit" by capping comedy series Emmy nominations at 11 and drama nods at 10 for a second straight year. How bad had things gotten? "Business affairs execs and studios were giving people producing credits just because they could," says one nameless Academy official. This outrage ends now. [Variety]
· The Toronto Film Festival officially surrenders to Hollywood. [THR]
· We hate to do this after just one episode, but when the trades are throwing around words like "dismal" to describe a new show's ratings, the CancellationWatch must begin: Fox's Anchorwoman draws only 2.7 million viewers and a 1.0 rating in the 18-49 demographic, less than half of the numbers pulled by competition on NBC and CBS. [Variety]
· Buy your tickets now: Rosie O'Donnell will be opening the New York Comedy Festival. You won't want to miss what she's got planned for that giant photo Elizabeth Hasselbeck this time! [THR]
· In a much-clamored-for reunion of Shrek the Third castmates, Justin Timberlake is joining the cast of Mike-Myers-doing-a-funny-accent-comedy Love Guru. [Variety]

If you hate women, men, Texas, Los Angeles, television news and any of the social progress made by Americans in the 20th century, then "Anchorwoman" is the show for you.

· Hollywood Out of Directors: "Dimension Films has set a November 26 start date for Comeback, an inspirational sports drama that Ice Cube will star in and produce. Fred Durst will direct." [Variety]
· 13.9 million viewers tuned in to watch The Hoff declare the guy with his hand up a turtle puppet's ass the Most Talented Man in America. [THR]
· FX greenlights Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy's transsexual drama 4 oz., but since the pitch was bought in the room by president John Landegraf, the central tranny's vocation has been changed from sportswriter to gynecologist. (Was it originally too close to the story of the LAT's Mike Penner/Christine Daniels?) Murphy ambitiously envisions his protagonist's journey from male ladydoctor to lady ladydoctor to unfold over four seasons. [Variety]
· A study claims that people's internet-time is now rivaling their TV-time, a finding that the studios will do their best to ignore during their fight with the various guilds over online residuals. [THR]
· Joey Fatone is trying to become TV Guide Channel's budget-friendly answer to Ryan Seacrest. [Variety]

Earlier today, the quite unexpected news that Noted Hollywood Liberal Janeane Garofalo would be joining the cast of 24, a television program co-created by a Self-Described—Albeit Jokingly, Ha!—Right-Wing Nutjob, was announced, a collision of bleeding-heart-matter/conservative-antimatter that could release more destructive energy on the Greater Los Angeles area than a nuke detonated in Valencia. (Have we drenched your screen in enough hyperbole yet? We think we have.) But how does Garofalo feel about taking the gig? A reporter from the Ottawa Sun in the right place at the right time (i.e., on the set of the less politically divisive TV project Binky "about the bittersweet relationship between a cranky rock critic and her mother's Jack Russell Terrier") gets her first thoughts:

· Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are in talks to star in a film version of the musical Nine for the Weinstein Co; when reached for comment on his potential cast, Harvey Weinstein said, "I may be jumping the gun, but if Penelope doesn't get nominated, I'll willingly blind myself with a rusty salad fork." [Variety]
· Noted liberal Janeane Garofalo (she even had an Air America show!) is joining the cast of 24 this season; oh, to be a fly on the wall overhearing the debates she'll be having with self-described "right-wing nutjob" co-creator Joel Surnow at the craft services table! Surnow, of course, can always retaliate for any political acrimony by having Jack Bauer torture her government agent character with a belt sander for suspected collusion with terrorists. [THR]
· Paramount chooses sides in the scintillating hi-def DVD format war, aligning with HD-DVD over Blu-Ray. [Variety]
· Hollywood Out Of Ideas, Your Head Will Explode If You Have An Original Thought After The Age of 30 Edition: Warner Bros. pulls a long-gestating remake of Logan's Run off the shelf, handing the project over to commercial director Joseph Kosinski for his feature debut. [THR]
· Hairspray becomes just the tenth musical to cross the $100 million mark in domestic box office, proving that there was, in fact, a healthy market for John Travolta in terrifying housefrau drag. [Variety]

· Hollywood Out of Ideas, Tiny People Injected Into the Sickly Body Of Originality Edition: Roland Emmerich will direct a remake of Fantastic Voyage for 20th Century Fox. [Variety]
· Production has temporarily stopped on 24 so that the hit show's writers have enough time to adequately dramatize every apocalyptic scenario that would probably come to pass if a Hillary Clintonesque president ever assumed our highest office. [THR]
· Former Daily Show/Colbert Report EP Ben Karlin explains the just-announced, combined film/television deal he signed with a certain premium cable outlet: "When my reps asked me what I wanted to do next, I said firmly, 'not TV.' They said, 'HBO.' I had to admit, they had me there." [Variety]
· ABC's new NASCAR in Prime tanks its premiere, probably because the show clearly belongs on Fox. [THR]
· Jerry Bruckheimer informs CBS that it must buy his drama pilot about a "globetrotting team of freelance treasure hunters" or he will withdraw every one of the 45 weekly hours of programming he generates for them; the network, of course, happily complies, remarking about how much they always wanted a more expensive, scripted version of The Amazing Race. [Variety]

• 'So You Think You Can Dance' poised for finale [LAT]

· These screenwriter people are so hot right now! Fox plans to offer the well-regarded members of the Writing Partners collective (including Ted "Pirates" Elliot and Terry "Of the Caribbean" Rossio, John "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" August, and others) a deal where they accept small upfront payments for their original specs in exchange for greater creative control and gross profit participation. It should be fun the first time Fox begs one the newly empowered writers to fire himself in favor of someone who can solve his third-act problems. [Variety]
· The Emancipation of Gigi continues apace: Gigi Levangie, the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Brian Grazer, will have her novel Maneater adapted into a Lifetime miniseries that the network hopes will put up numbers similar to the ones generated by her previous collaboration with USA on The Starter Wife. We hope we at least get another fun Wac-a-Mole-style game (Eat-a-Grazer?) out of it. [THR]
· The season three premiere of Weeds was the series' most-watched episode to date, boosting the fortunes of lead-out Californication, which became the highest-rated non-Kirstie-Alley comedy debut in Showtime's history. [Variety]
· Michael "George Michael" Cera, for whom we think virtually ever movie made should create at least a small role, will star in the adaptation of the C.D. Payne novel Youth in Revolt. [THR]
· Fox orders seven episodes of Nothing But the Truth, a gameshow in which contestants are hooked up to a lie detector and forced to answer humiliating personal questions as friends and family watch. Also, each detected lie will result in a Japanese man striking the unlucky dissembler in the genitals. [Variety]

· Don Imus earns a multi-million dollar windfall for calling the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos." Nicely played, CBS! [Variety]
· Disney adds Bernie Mac to a magical Old Dogs cast that already includes John Travolta and Robin Williams; Mac will play the part of the take-no-shit character that glowers out from the one-sheet as his harried co-stars are run ragged by the 7-year-old twins they have no idea how to care for. [THR]
· Rosario Dawson hitches her wagon to Shia Labeouf's quickly rising star, signing on for the DreamWorks thriller Eagle Eye. [Variety]
· Fox's late-summer crap (the Hell's Kitchen finale and a new episode of So You Think You Can Dance) easily wins Monday night against other network's rerun garbage. [THR]
· NBC cordially invites the loyal viewers of Today to choke on a new, fourth hour of their beloved morning chatfest. [Variety]

• Nut Shot Japanese Show [YouTube]

It's hard to believe that so soon after American Idol appointed its last karaoke superstar, the fame-making juggernaut is once again winding its way around the country, offering a generation of disenfranchised youth with a song in their heart a slim chance at escaping their dreary, service-sector lives. Such was the case with Dallas auditioner Antoria Gillon, who barreled through her one shot at greatness even after it became clear to judges that the very pregnant hopeful had gone into labor. From the Fox News report: