Bad news: The latest Fortune eschews any hopes you might have had for original wealth coverage in favor of the favorite fallback of writers and editors everywhere, The Listicle. Before your eyes glaze over, note that this listicle — the Envy List — is different. Instead of being based on data, numbers, or facts, the Envy List is merely a rundown of the power brokers who Fortune folks simply envy. Jealousy is the new reportage!

We'll save you the effort: If you have to take an online quiz to find out, you are.

Centro-Fly co-owner, David Baxley, on the antiquated cabaret law that prevents unlicensed bars and clubs from allowing patrons to dance:
"The cabaret law itself is absurd. It's totalitarian. Two years ago the only places it was illegal to dance were Manhattan and Afghanistan. And now you can dance in Afghanistan,"
Lotus is zoned for the cabaret laws and most of its competitors aren't. Lotus owner, David Rabin, in keeping with the Unfair-Rules-Are-Okay-As-Long-As-They-Benefit-Me code of ethics so popular with a number of minor third-world dictators, the occasional former national security advisor, and a not-insignificant number of Fortune 50 CEOs, supports them.
Not that it matters. Lotus isn't profitable and you can smell the desperation (and the b-list social climbers) for miles. It's O-Ver.
The Safety Dance [Village Voice]

Ah, journalists are so easily bought. David Kirkpatrick of Fortune was pathetically grateful for some fresh-baked peanut-butter cookies, and he's...