fools

Joe Klein Cannot Read

Hamilton Nolan · 06/30/10 12:44PM

In your illiterate Wednesday media column: Joe Klein fails reading comprehension, Gerald Posner does the Gerald Posner thing again, Photoshop model disclosure in Australia, a Conde-Hearst talent war foreshadowed, and Playboy grows ever less sexy.

American Optimagicians Will Triumph

Hamilton Nolan · 02/09/10 03:44PM

The Way We Live Now: Optimagically. We choose to believe that good times are ahead despite plain evidence to the contrary. As long as someone somewhere can bail someone else out, it's luxury condos and Bergdorf Goodman for us.

Outrage-Off: Mary Matalin vs. Jo-Ann Armao

Hamilton Nolan · 12/29/09 04:21PM

African terrorists are poised to strike America knowing that their Kenyan brother will prevent real Americans from fighting back. Outrageous conservative outrage is our only hope. Today's outrage-off contest of strenuously asserted puzzling sentiments: Mary Matalin vs. Jo-Ann Armao.

Dumb, Kids

Hamilton Nolan · 12/29/09 12:41PM

Half of men who get vasectomies never get a follow-up test done to make sure their vasectomies worked. Those men are more likely to be "not highly educated and the fathers of four or more children." [Businessweek. Pic: WTFDYHAK]

Love and Crime on Long Island

Hamilton Nolan · 07/23/09 09:36AM

Is there a way for the old "Teacher Arrested For Sleeping With Student" to combine with the old "Man Solicits Underage Sex on the Internet" to produce a new, stupider crime? On Long Island there is.

Everything Everywhere Closed. Swine Flu.

Hamilton Nolan · 05/01/09 10:39AM

Remember how after 9/11, every backwater public library in Iowa and auditorium in Missouri spent millions terrorist-proofing themselves, JUST TO BE READY? Swine flu panic is the new that.

Michael Phelps Gets Eight Kids at Party Arrested

Hamilton Nolan · 02/10/09 12:02PM

Yea, they thought it was so cool to hang out and take bong hits with Olympic champ Michael Phelps. Until the freaking sheriff started arresting everybody for it. Thanks a lot, Phelps.

Idiot Vows To Keep Selling Idiot Clothes

Hamilton Nolan · 11/24/08 01:59PM

Now that we have a glorious, hopey new president, it's time for the assholes to come out. Idiot L.E.S. designer Apollo Braun—famous for being the idiot who makes sweatshirts saying "Who Killed Obama?"— has issued a mumbly press release declaring that he will not stop making his idiot sweatshirts, despite alleged pressure from the FBI, which may or may not be a likely fabrication like the rest of the idiot's stories. He also gives an appropriately amusing quote!: