African terrorists are poised to strike America knowing that their Kenyan brother will prevent real Americans from fighting back. Outrageous conservative outrage is our only hope. Today's outrage-off contest of strenuously asserted puzzling sentiments: Mary Matalin vs. Jo-Ann Armao.

CONTESTANT 1: Republican talking point in human form Mary Matalin had this to say on CNN, about why GW Bush's administration was not to blame for all those problems:

MATALIN: I was there, we inherited a recession from President Clinton, and we inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation's history.

"Inherited." Advances in quantum physics these days have rendered the time-space continuum nearly unrecognizable! Gotcha. CONTESTANT 2: Jo-Ann Armao, who writes on the Washington Post's website that any future attacks against America will be the fault of Barack Obama's vacation schedule:

By staying in Hawaii, the president has sent the message that the situation really isn't all that serious, that things can proceed just fine until he's back. And isn't it that kind of reasoning that emboldens our never-vacationing enemies into thinking Christmas Day is the perfect time for them to strike?

Sure, sure Jo-Ann. Sure. Vote for your most favorite outrageous opinion-spouter directly below this line of text! [Pic via]