• Monkey Bar doesn't open for another week—and good luck getting it once it does—but The Feed nabbed a copy of the menu at a friends-and-family dinner on Friday night. You know, just in case you're interested to see what Graydon Carter's friends will be eating for the next few months. [TONY]
• For its part, Eater has a sketch of where the important and not-quite-as-important will be seated once Monkey Bar opens. [Eater]
• A Shake Shack does not appear to be destined for Central Park, alas. [GS]
• Shake Shack is, however, open at Citi Field, and served up people who attended the Georgetown-St. John's game yesterday. [NYM, NYDN]
• A fire will keep David Rabin's Los Dados closed for at least a week. [Eater]
• In this week's issue of New York, Adam Platt gives Chelsea's Txikito and the Flatiron district's Bar Breton one star apiece. [NYM]
• Bob Lape is signing off after more than 20 years of food reviews. [Crain's]
• It was six years ago today that the smoking ban went into effect, FYI. [EVG]

• Daniel Boulud's upcoming venue on the Bowery now has a name (DBGB), theme ("downtown beer hall"), and port-o-potty on the premises. [GS, Eater]
• Wine on grocery store shelves? Not gonna happen, sorry. [Crains]
• It appears Justin Timberlake and his partners have given up on plans to open a club in the former Manor space on Eighth Avenue. [Chelsea Now via Eater]
• Where in the world in Sirio Maccioni? In Abu Dhabi for an Andrea Botticelli concert as a guest of the crown prince. In case you were wondering. [GS]
• The strip club Sapphire now has a steakhouse attached to its bosom. [TFB]
• No need to order wine at dinner; a warm body suffices in a recession. [NYT]

Eater.com founder Ben Leventhal is going to start blogging on GrubStreet.com—a rival food blog! New York food bloggers haven't been this abuzz since the Great Momofuku Fire of '63. [The Feedbag]

• Things that are trendy at the moment: Mangalitsa pigs, overpriced hamburgers, and desserts made with stout. [NYT, Eater, NYT]
• A roundup of places scheduled to open over the next few days. [Eater]
• Charlie Palmer's Aureole moves to One Bryant Park in a couple of months; here are some renderings of the restaurant's new space. [Zagat]
• Beef sales are down, but you can probably figure out why that is. [WSJ]
• Yet another peek at Sasha Petraske's forthcoming Dutch Kills in LIC. [TONY]
• Pocket Change's list of your 10 best late-night dining options. [PC]
• Metromix reviews the city's collection of all-you-can-eat buffets, those "steam-table terrors filled with gloppy, stiff foodstuffs about as nutritious and delicious as Styrofoam." [Metromix]

• Bouley was on every critic's menu today: Frank Bruni handed it three stars ("only Daniel and Per Se give you quite the same feeling of giddy privilege"); the Post's Steve Cuozzo was extremely pleased ("heartstoppingly beautiful"); and TONY's Jay Cheshes was perfectly happy with the food, although he thought the service could have been a bit better. [NYT, NYP, TONY]
• Word has it that the new exec chef at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar is Elliot Ketley, formerly of Soho House. Also: Not surprisingly, people who collect a paycheck from Carter think it's absolutely marvelous. [Gothamist, NYO]
• Per Se's new à la carte menu—revealed! [Eater]
• The best dive bar in NYC per Details? Jimmy's Corner on West 44th. [Details]
• A visit to Dutch Kills, the buzzed-about bar opening in Long Island City. [BB]
• Red wine increases the female libido, for your information. [Decanter]
• Rachael Ray will be at the 92Y tomorrow if you've got $27 to spare. [92Y]

• It's like Kozmo.com all over again: A site called Wakozi will now deliver booze to your door in Manhattan. Bklyn and Qns coming soon! [Wakozi via TT]
• If you shelled out big bucks for premium seating at the new Yankee Stadium, at least your taste buds will reap the rewards: Both Masaharu Morimoto and April Bloomfield of the Spotted Pig will be putting in appearances. [NYT]
• Tonda opens in the space formerly occupied by E.U. tonight. [Eater]
• Pierre Schaedelin talks about the biz and his bistro Benoit. [Gothamist]
• Good World will serve up its last drink on Saturday night. [GS]
• Will the restaurant industry "be blown away by the current economic storms"? Tim Zagat, not surprisingly, says the answer is "no." [Atlantic]
• Greenhouse has "hands-down rudest doormen in the five boroughs." [MM]
• Alain Ducasse and his wife Gwénaëlle just had a baby boy named Arzhel. And he now has a wax figure of himself in Paris, too, which can't hurt. [P6]

• The James Beard Foundation announced the final nominees for its 2009 awards today. The names in the mix for New York's "best chef": Michael Anthony, Terrance Brennan, Wylie Dufresne, Gabrielle Hamilton, and Gabriel Kreuther. The two New Yorkers competing for the "outstanding restaurateur" award: Keith McNally and Drew Nieporent. [JBF]
• JGV and partner Phil Suarez plan to open 10 restaurants in 2009. [Fortune]
• Tonda is planning to open in the former E.U. space tomorrow. [GS]
• Rumor has it Katie Lee Joel is getting into the restaurant business. The spot will be called "Logan County" and will be located in the financial district. [TFB]
• As for Padma Lakshmi, she's branching out into comedy, apparently. [GS]
• It looks like restaurant publicist (and regular Iron Chef judge) Karine Bakhoum is working on a reality show. [TONY]
• Another season of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is on tap. [THR]

• Michelle Obama started digging up part of the South Lawn of the White House today to plant a vegetable garden. In case you ever have to prepare a salad for the president, be advised that Barack is not down beets. [NYT]
• It's official: Per Se is introducing an à la carte menu on Wednesday. [NYT]
• Pichet Ong is closing P'ong and Batch in the West Village. [Eater, GS]
• Trends Frank Bruni has noticed: trotters, little fried birds, cheap wine. [NYT]
• One trend Grub Street has seen all over the place: bone marrow. [GS]
• A few tips on how to handle a really bad waiter. [Bon Appétit]
• The world's oldest bottle of champagne was opened this week. [TimesUK]
• The Journal has a peek inside JGV's weekend home in Westchester. [WSJ]
• Good news: Antonio Banderas is now producing wine. [Decanter]

Alice Waters wins: The First Family agreed to to grow its own vegetables for the first time since World War II, citing the very educational benefits the Berkeley restaurateur has long touted.

• Who doesn't want to take over Tavern on the Green? A meeting of potential bidders today attracted Alan Stillman, Boathouse owner Dean Poll, Capitale's Seth Greenberg, and reps for Cipriani, Trump, and Meyer. [NYO]
• Minetta Tavern is attracting quite the crowd: Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow were there for dinner last night; Anna Wintour was in the house for lunch. How hard is it to nab a reservation? Not as hard as they'd like you to think. [TFB, GS]
• The good news/bad news about Zak Pelaccio's UWS Fatty Crab. [Eater]
• Ken Friedman is serving $0.99 drinks for the Rusty Knot's 1st bday. [TONY]
• A peek at Keste Pizza & Vino, which opens next week and will be offering classes on how to make authentic pizza. Just $4,000 for 10 sessions! [Eater]
• The owner of the Ollie's chain of Chinese restaurants has been ordered to pay $2.3 million in back pay to workers for violating wage laws. [NYDN]
• Word to the wise: celebrity chefs will make you fat! [NYDN]

• The Smile, Carlos Quirarte and Matt Kliegman's café/boutique on Bond Street, officially opened its doors today. One rare luxury: Regulars get their own custom-made, engraved Laguiole cutlery to use whenever they visit. [GS]
• Donatella Arpaia and Michael Psilakis's Kefi doesn't get much love from Frank Bruni: A case of "palate mononucleosis" leaves it with one star. [NYT]
• Dovetail is looking to open a café and food cart in Central Park. [Eater]
• Both Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton and Time Out's Jay Cheshes visit La Fonda Del Sol and leave with mixed feelings. [Bloomberg, TONY]
• Poll: New Yorkers prefer BLT Steak to Peter Luger by 53% to 47%. [TFB]
• Not surprisingly, the job market for chefs isn't exactly booming. [NYT]
• Also not surprising: Low-end liquor is really popular right now. [NYP]
• Amy Ruth's in Harlem has filed for bankruptcy protection. [Crain's]
• JGV's Spice Market in Doha, Qatar is now open, just so you know. [Luxist]

• Another great restaurant humbled: It looks like Per Se is planning to introduce an à la carte menu in its salon and bar area. [Eater]
• Two armed men stormed Mario Batali's Esca. Instead of taking cash, though, they made off with envelopes stuffed with "worthless paper receipts." [NYP]
• Looks like Park Avenue Winter's PR stunt of giving free meals to girls dressed up as schoolgirls is paying off. Some 250 girls turned up last night. [Eater]
• Lawyer/enemy of NYC restaurateurs Maimon Kirshenbaum: He's back. [NYT]
• A caviar lounge really is opening at the Four Seasons Hotel. [Zagat]
• If you ask nicely (and perhaps make up a story about losing your job), you might be able to negotiate a discount at Starbucks and Cosi. [NYP]
• Some tips on where to go tonight to drink yourself silly in honor of St. Paddy's Day if you're still in need of recommendations. [Metromix, Citysearch]

• Sneakers at Bouley? Not acceptable. You can wear them to Per Se, though, provided you also bring along a doctor's note. [TONY]
• A list of 75 outdoor cafés that have opened, in case you're feelin' brave. [GS]
• The Times would like to remind you that people are still spending big bucks to hit up brunch at Bagatelle and Merkato 55, recession or not. [NYT]
• Braeburn gets a middling, one-star review of in this week's New York. [NYM]
• A fire did serious damage to Coney Island's famed Totonno's pizzeria over the weekend, but the owners say they plan to reopen in six weeks or so. [NY1]
• Speaking of pizza, the highly-anticipated Kesté opens next week. [GS]
• Looking to open a restaurant? Cool! Here are some availabilities. [Eater]
• More trouble for Gordon Ramsay: A week after selling his LA eatery, he's been forced to sell off flagship in Paris because of the credit crunch. [NYP]
• Eric Ripert will tack one more honor to his resume tonight when he's awarded the Legion d'Honneur, France's highest award, at the French Consulate. [TFB]

Oh look, it's that nutty Berkeley chef Alice Waters, telling 60 Minutes we should all eat non-poisoned food. Doesn't she know organic produce is a "luxury," in Lesley Stahl's words? It's a recession!

• Why, yes, of course there's a shawarma lunch cart in Midtown named after Barack Obama. [ML]
• The good news/bad news about Minetta Tavern. [Eater]
• A roundup of restaurants slated to open next week. [TONY]
• The Four Seasons Hotel is opening a "caviar lounge" on March 23. Genius. That's totally what NYC needs. [GS]
• Padma Laskshmi supposedly flipped out when she and elderly boyf Teddy Forstmann were forced to wait for a table at Schiller's last night. [Gawker]
• Most BYOB restaurants are breaking the law, it turns out. Also? Stretch limos that serve booze are in violation, too. Please take note, Mineola. [Crains]

• Rumor has it Iacopo Falai is in "early talks" to open up a space inside Andre Balazs's new Standard Hotel in the meatpacking district. [Eater]
• Chocolate Bar will reopen in a new West Village location on April 28. [NYO]
• The price of certain French cheeses quadruples on March 22. Ouch! [TONY]
• Tim and Nina Zagat are launching a new food website. And The Atlantic is launching a new food "channel" tomorrow. [GS, AdAge]
• Korean food is taking over America, apparently. [WSJ]
• Sign 'o the times: Arby's first Brooklyn outpost is opening in the landmarked space formerly occupied by steakhouse Gage & Tollner. [NYDN]
• Chefs Daniel Boulud, Floyd Cardoz, and Marco Canora discuss the biz. [GS]
• Matt Oliver, doorman at M2 and brunch at Merkato 55, chats nightlife. [BB]
• Bourdain on Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares: "It's a circus of cruelty, like shooting fish in a barrel with a cut-down 12-gauge shotgun. There's no cooking. It's just a bunch of dimwits—the lame, the halt and the delusional." [EMD]

• It's two stars for 10 Downing and chef Jason Neroni in today's Times. [NYT]
• Chef Michael Citarella is out at Freemans. [TONY, TONY]
• It's confirmed: Michael Psilakis and Donatella Arpaia are expanding and opening a restaurant at the Viceroy in Miami. [NYP]
• Capitale's Seth Greenberg may make a bid for Tavern on the Green. [NYO]
• The Biltmore Room is reopening in April as The Gates. [BB]
• Matthew Schaefer is taking over the Mermaid Inn's East Village location. [GS]
• The old Florent space, which became R&L, is no more. [Eater]
• One rather unusual item on Silvano Marchetto's menu at Scuderia: limited edition hand-painted sneakers that are made to order and cost $895. [GS]

• Richard Caring, the mogul who owns London's Le Caprice and Soho House, is taking over the Cafe Pierre and renaming Le Caprice New York. [NYT]
• Simon Oren is opening a bistro, bar and bakery on West 33rd St. [NYP]
• Barry Wine of Quilted Giraffe fame is working with Tishman Speyer to find a new restaurateur to take over the Rainbow Room. [NYO]
• Tavern on the Green has been sued once again. [Eater]
• Veritas on East 20th Street has unveiled a brand new menu. [TFB]
• You ask, Frank answers: "Is it considered poor manners to insist that a waiter write down an order instead of attempting to commit it to memory?" [NYT]
• St. Patrick's Day is a week from today. Zagat has a few bar ideas. [Zagat]
• Sales are up at McDonald's thanks to the recession. [NYP]
• Want some credit crunch cookies? They're "crisp and loaded with chips," although at $8, you may be better off sticking to Pepperidge Farm. [NYDN]

• Keith McNally's Minetta Tavern opens tomorrow. And just in case you were holding your breath, he says his pizzeria won't open for a year. [NYT, Zagat]
• Scuderia, Silvano Marchetto's new trattoria located across the street from Da Silvano on Sixth Avenue, opens this evening. [Eater]
• Ramen Setagaya, the Japanese chain with two locations in New York City, opened a third one on University Place last night. [GS]
• What you missed at the $1,000-a-person Citymeals-on-Wheels charity dinner last night, which honored Sirio Maccioni (and was sold out). [TFB]
• Bamn!, the theme-y fast food spot on St. Mark's has gone out of business. But it may be replaced by Michael Huynh's Baoguette. [Eater]
• Starbucks's new menu sucks, according to Time Out. [TONY]
• Believe it or not, there are a few neighborhood pubs that are TV-less. [NYT]

• Diddy prefers the fried chicken at Popeye's over KFC, just so you know. [YouTube]
• The guys from Frankies 457 Spuntino are opening a new spot on Court Street. [NYT]
• A look at Raines Law Room, the "underground cocktail lounge" that opened in the Flatiron District recently. [TFB]
• A list of spots that closed today. [Eater]
• Yelpers list their 100 favorite dishes from 2008. [Yelp]
• Eater gets to the bottom of those totally annoying "mandatory service charges" that have been showing up on diners' checks recently. [Eater]
• Robert Sietsema gets to the bottom of those totally annoying tip jars that have been around forever but are still as annoying as ever. [VV]