• Frank Bruni takes on La Fonda del Sol and Txikito in the Times, giving the former two stars for Josh DeChellis' "less forced and more exuberant" cuisine, and the latter a single star for its "complicated" cooking. [NYT]
• The Post's Steve Cuozzo likes the murals, mirrors and lighting at Monkey Bar. But he thinks Graydon Carter could be doing a better job with the food. [NYP]
• Bradford Thompson, formerly the chef at the late Lever House in Midtown, is now behind the stove at Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal in Tribeca. [TFB]
• More on the Gates, the over-the-top lounge "with the attitude of Soho House, Rose Bar and GoldBar rolled into one marble-encrusted crazybox." [UD]

• The top restaurant in New York City, according to San Pellegrino's list of the World's 50 Best Restaurants: for 2009: Per Se, naturally. [Serious Eats]
• A look at the Gates, the new venue in the former Biltmore Room space. [GS]
• Be advised: Morton's is now charging $2.50 to add ice to your drink. [IC]
• It's been two years since the banh mi trend surfaced, apparently. [GS, Eater]
• Yet another victim of the recession: hot-dog cart vendors. [NYDN]
• Andre Balazs isn't saying much about the restaurant opening in the Standard Hotel, although he's willing to admit he's naming it after his daughters. [GS]
• Sorry, sex fiends: The Casbar, a sex club in the Brooklyn that was featured in the New York Times in February, has been shut down. [DBTH]

• A roundup of what's opening this week and next month, too. [Eater, Eater]
• Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal and Steve Hanson's 675 Bar will probably turn into "the places to be during the Tribeca Film Festival," so you know. [GS]
• City Councilman Eric Gioia is proposing that fast food restaurants be prohibited from opening within a tenth of a mile of public schools. [NYT]
• A roundup of places to take your mom for Mother's Day. [Zagat]
• How do you know it's spring? The palm trees are in place at 230 Fifth. [NYT]
• Mi Cocina in the West Village has been seized and is now for rent. [Eater]
• Bruni takes a trip to Astoria and leaves Taverna Kyclade a happy man. [NYT]
• NYC has the best food in America, according to an opinion piece in Saturday's Wall Street Journal. But of course you already knew that, didn't you? [WSJ]

The Terrace Diner in Bayside, Queens earned high marks from the Queens Gazette last year for its "open, airy atmosphere" and "wide, comfortable booths and tables." It's safe to say, though, that Dr. Arnold Sheff won't be going back there any time soon. The retired physician says he was regular at the restaurant until one morning last October, when he complained about the service to another customer, which prompted the waiter serving him to retaliate by publicly announcing to everyone in the diner what you see highlighted above. Naturally, Sheff has since suffered severe embarrassment, mental anguish, and extreme emotional distress as a result, and is now suing everyone involved. Provided you're not eating and browsing the Web at the same time, you can read the full complaint after the jump.

• Rumor has it that Gilt is doomed: "Employees are looking for new positions, services are being canceled, and the end is in sight." [TFB]
• Yesterday, Charles took a pounding from Times critic Frank Bruni. Today, the restaurant responded by covering up the windows with Bruni's review. [GS]
• Tom Colicchio appeared on Charlie Rose's show last night. [CharlieRose.com]
• The 50 best new restaurants, according to Travel + Leisure. [T+L]
• A roundup of eating options at the new Yankee Stadium. [GS]
• The IKEA in Brooklyn is turning Wednesdays into "$7.99 rib night." [Eater]
• Another thing to steer clear of: packaged sandwiches from Walgreen's. [ML]
• How did we not know that today was National Eggs Benedict Day? [GS]

• "If there's a restaurant out there that you love, visit it. Eat there. Especially if it's in the two-star or three-star category, where I sense some of the greatest vulnerability of all," advises a very sensible Frank Bruni today. [NYT]
• On a less serious (and more creative) note, Bruni manages to slap Charles with a zero-star review and poke fun at Graydon Carter in today's Times. [NYT]
• Mayahuel, the new tequila bar by Death & Co's Phil Ward, opens in May. [UD]
• Gordon Ramsay at the London may not be around for much longer. [TFB]
• Todd English's rep has confirmed he's out at the Libertine. [GS]
• It's Pera that is planning to take over the Bar Martignetti space. [Eater]
• Fast food has reinvented itself and is now cool again, just so you know. [NYP]

• The Beatrice Inn will need to install fire sprinklers, add an additional exit, and create a wider entrance to the haunt if it wants to reopen its doors. [P6]
• Frederick Lesort's Frederick's Madison filed for bankruptcy today. [Crain's]
• Masa charges a 20% service charge to diners' tabs, although they prefer to call it an "administrative fee." Of course if you can still afford to spend $400 per person on sushi, you can probably afford to additional fee, too. [Eater]
• Speaking of overpriced spots, Daniel is now offering an early-bird special: The three-course prix-fixe menu with wine is (only) $98 per person, but you'll have to consume it between 5:30 to 6pm and on weeknights only. [TONY]
• Tavern on the Green bidders took a final tour of the place today. [NYT]
• Silvano Marchetto's Scuderia gets a blah review in the News today. [NYDN]
• Beverage conglomerate smackdown: Pepsi is now suing Coke for suggesting Powerade is better than Gatorade when, in fact, they're both lousy. [AP]

• Ian Schrager is bringing in some firepower to the Gramercy Park Hotel: Danny Meyer's Union Square Hospitality will take over space formerly occupied by Wakiya, and David Rockwell will handle the design, although the "Italian-inspired" restaurant doesn't have a chef or name just yet. [NYT]
• In a chat with the Observer, Meyer says he's "intrigued by the possibilities" of working with Schrager. He also says he has no plans to take over the Rainbow Room, and remains undecided about a bid for Tavern on the Green. [NYO]
• Rumor has it Todd English is out at The Libertine at the Gild Hall hotel. [TFB]
• Keith McNally's Minetta Tavern has added a late-night menu. [GS]
• A group of sad Beatrice Inn regulars gathered at the Cooper Square Hotel on Friday night. In attendance: one-half of the Olsen twins, Chloe Sevigny, and "some skinny guys with mustaches," naturally. [DBTH]
• The sandwich shop Crosby Connection opened on Bleecker today. [Eater]
• The best street food in NYC, at least according to the Post. [NYP]

• It looks like Geoffrey Zakarian's Town has closed its doors. [GS]
• A roundup of other spots that have closed in the last couple of days. [Eater]
• More cheerful: This roundup of places slated to open next week. [TONY]
• Jim Lahey has a few, not-so-kind words for Times critic Frank Bruni, who had the audacity to award Lahey's Co. a single star earlier this week. [NYO]
• Why was the Beatrice Inn shuttered this week? It may have been the work of "haters" who "couldn't get in," explains Chloë Sevigny. [GS]

• The Beatrice Inn will probably reopen next week. [P6]
• Emporio officially opens tomorrow, but it's taking walk-ins this eve. [TSB, GS]
• It looks like the end is near for Soho's Café Noir. [GS]
• Details on the latest unmarked bar, not that you're going to find it. [GS]
• Shake Shack's summer schedule has arrived. [Eater]

How is tomorrow different from all other nights? The sitting president is having a seder! (Bush couldn't handle the four glasses of fruity European wine, obv.) Here are some things Obama probably won't be serving:

• The Four Seasons may be having its moment as it celebrates its 50th, but things aren't so cheery across the street. John McDonald and Josh Picard's Lever House closes on Friday, supposedly for "renovations." [TFB]
• Jim Lahey's Co. gets a one-star from Frank Bruni in today's Times. [NYT]
• The Post's Steve Cuozzo isn't blown away by Per Se's à la carte menu. [NYP]
• Restaurants & Institutions list of the 100 top-grossing restaurants is online. Tavern on the Green, Smith & Wollensky, Tao, Buddakan, and Sparks Steak House round out New York City's top five. [R&I]
• A roundup of what's opened this week, and what's coming soon. [NYT]

• A sneak peak at Marea, the buzzed-about seafood restaurant from Michael White and Chris Cannon that's scheduled to open in early May. [GS]
• Craft's Damon Wise will be offering his frugal menu six days a week. [Eater]
• Photos of the steakhouse that is coming soon to the Standard NYC. [HC]
• Restaurant Girl on Inakaya: It's "touristy" but "the food's excellent." [NYDN]
• Top Chef Masters, the spinoff to Top Chef, debuts June 10. [Eater]
• Kogi, the Korean BBQ/taco truck popular in LA, may be NYC-bound. [Zagat]
• Obama Fried Chicken in Brooklyn will not be defeated. The fast food place with the controversial name is bravely refusing to change its name. [AMNY]

• It's not just high-end restaurants suffering due to the recession. Take a moment to think a good thought for Applebee's in Times Square. [NYT]
• NYMag's Adam Platt visits La Fonda del Sol, giving it one star for Josh DeChellis's "inherent talent" and another for its tapas. [NYM]
• Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar now has a reservations line. [NYT]
• The secret to Marquee's longevity, at least according to a Harvard Business School case study on the subject. [NYP]
• Jimmy Fallon took to Twitter after getting kicked out of Posto. [Slice via GS]
• Good World has closed its doors. [BoweryBoogie]
• A sushi spot in Midtown has a new roll: the Natalie Portman. [ML]
• Kate Moss may have a cookbook in the works. [Mirror]

• Christian Delouvrier, formerly of Lespinasse and Alain Ducasse, is back from Florida and is now behind the stove at David Bouley's Secession. [NYT]
• Jeffrey Chodorow's Kobe Club in East Hampton won't be back this summer. Mediocre, overpriced food will be: It's becoming a branch of Philippe. [NYT]
• As you've probably noticed, bar menus are big these days. [WSJ]
• A Craigslist ad for waiters, busboys, and bartenders attracted—yes, you guessed it—lots of former bankers and commercial real estate brokers. [NYT]
• Patois has moved from Brooklyn and has settled on Mulberry St. [LNYC]
• Celeb dining tips by Rosie O'Donnell, Jill Hennessy and Tim Robbins. [BB]

• Food & Wine's 2009 "Best New Chefs" were announced last night and, as expected, Corton's Paul Liebrandt was the only New Yorker on the list. [F&W]
• Delicatessen chef Michael Ferraro explains how he plans to turn around the restaurant known as "most loathed new restaurant of the past year." [NYO]
• A final tally of the restaurants that closed in March. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan talks about what he has in store at Tribeca's Trigo. [TFB]
• You can now buy sushi from a little cart on the street in Midtown. [Eater]
• A collection of bars/lounges famous for their old-school cocktails. [NYT]
• Liquor companies will try anything to get you to keep drinking. [WSJ]
• The DEA shut down a pizza place in the Bronx that served up cocaine in addition to pizza. Insert your own "dough" pun here. [ABC News]

God, it's hard enough to convince someone to buy and consume a product called "John West Tuna&Beans." This ad just makes it harder. Everyone involved in this product's conception, manufacturing, or advertising should be fired.

• Macao Trading Company is "silly" but "fun," says Frank Bruni, who translates that combo into a one-star review in the New York Times today. [NYT]
• A roundup of restaurants that have closed their doors in recent days. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan of Picholine and Artisanal fame is planning to take over Trigo in Tribeca and turn it into Bar Artisinal. [GS, NYT]
• Ignazio's may give Grimaldi's a run for its money in Dumbo. [TONY]
• Ryan Sutton is not a fan of Giorgio Armani's restaurant inside his new store: "I doubt he's paid much attention at all to New York's culinary scene; otherwise he wouldn't have created such a laughably behind-the-times joint." [BN]
• Meet John and Kevin McCormick, the guys responsible for the peeling paint and rusting fixtures that typically accompany $34 entrees these days. [NYO]

• The Mets put on a "showcase" today of the "award-winning roster of dining options" available at Citi Field, one which "scintillated the senses" and "is sure to be one of the biggest hits of the year." Had enough yet? [Mets]
• Rumor has it that David Graziano and David Cabo, two of the dudes behind Pink Elephant and Bagatelle, are taking over the old R&L/Florent space. [GS]
• What's the appropriate tip on a drink, $1 or 20? Frank Bruni explains. [NYT]
• If you walk by Monkey Bar tonight, you may find it open for business. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan's Artisanal is hosting a grilled cheese contest. [TFB]
• A roundup of some Easter and Passover dining options. [Zagat]
• '21' is extending its Restaurant Week prix fixe through Labor Day. [Eater]
• What does every product claim it contains antioxidants these days? Because gullible people buy them based solely on the label, of course. [Atlantic]
• A Brooklyn fast food joint has renamed itself "Obama Fried Chicken." [TSG]

Times are tough. Stupid corporate cost-cutting tricks are rampant. Even within the hallowed confines of media companies! And the situation is growing more dire—no more free gyms, babysitting, good coffee, food, or toilet paper: