How are you cutting back during the Great Recession? Well, if you're like most Americans, you're probably eating crappier food but still watching a lot of TV. A new Reuters/Ipsos poll suggests as much, at least.

• Tonight's waiter may be yesterday's trader: "Carlos Araya used to order lobster, filet mignon and $200 bottles of red wine at the Palm Restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Now, he seats customers at its Tribeca branch." [WSJ]
• Somewhat related: Swiss bankers depressed about the downturn are finding comfort in Italian food because of its "soothing factor." Go figure. [NYT]
• It's not all bad news: Some 28 new restaurants opened in May. [Eater]
• Time Out has issued a list of the best new pizza places in NYC. [TONY]
• Momofuku Noodle Bar has applied for a full liquor license. [DBTH]
• The East Village yakitori spot Mr. Jones is now closed. [Eater]

• Danny Meyer has tapped Gramercy Tavern's executive sous-chef, Nick Anderer, to run things at his new restaurant at the Gramercy Park Hotel. [GS]
• A roundup of restaurants already open or will be soon. [Eater]
• Greenpeace staged a demonstration inside Nobu on Saturday night. [NYT]
• More bad news for Giuseppe Cipriani: His Moscow expansion is a no-go. [P6]
• Pete Wentz's Angels & Kings was shuttered for serving minors. [Gawker]
• Frank Bruni isn't too impressed with the Obamas decision to eat at Blue Hill during their weekend jaunt to NYC: "In the very predictability of this choice, in its all-too-neat squaring with the officially sanctioned food agenda, in its absence of surprise or abandon, isn't it ever so slightly disappointing?" [NYT]

Why must Martha Stewart make a mockery of the US diabetes crisis? Our nemesis has written a new book about, you guessed it, cupcakes. Even worse, her henchpeople have emailed, to us, horrifying photographs of the bizarre comestibles Martha's treatise has inspired. This, America, is why you're fat:

• State tax agents shut down H&H on the UWS for three hours today over an outstanding tax bill, but it's now back in business. [NYT]
• Zoë in Soho has filed for bankruptcy protection. [Crain's]
• Sad: A roundup of recent closings around town. [Eater]
• Happy: A roundup of places opening in the Hamptons this weekend. [Curbed]

• A peek inside Avenue, the new "gastrolounge" by Noah Tepperberg. [GS]
• Brooklyn is not getting a Shake Shack for the time being, alas. [Gothamist]
• Nightlife impresario Mike Satsky on Lily Pond: "My waitresses are hands-down the most beautiful waitress staff in the Hamptons." [NYO]
• Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal is now serving lunch. [TONY]
• Tim Zagat lists his favorite restaurants in NYC. [Urbanite]
• The husband and wife behind Sfoglia open Civetta in Nolita next week. [NYM]
• Park Avenue Spring is now Park Avenue Summer. [GS]
• End times! Wine consumption in France was down 10% last year. [AP]

Claude Wasserstein, the ex-wife of billionaire financier Bruce Wasserstein, resides in a $34 million duplex on Fifth Avenue. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't be willing to drop off four mini-cheeseburgers for you to eat for dinner tonight for $12. Wasserstein has teamed up with three other women—Susie Cover, Marcia Mishaan, and Samantha Schlumberger—to launch a food delivery service called Susie's Supper Club, which promises to "give New York City families an alternative to standard take-out and delivery options." Like the dozen or so other companies that deliver freshly-cooked meals that you need to pop in the microwave for a few minutes before you pass off as your own cooking, customers get to pick and choose items from an online menu. Unlike other services, these dishes are prepared by a chef skilled enough to have once worked as personal chef to the Wasserstein family. Chew on that, ZoneChefs. The full press release is below.

• Francois Payard says he'll be forced to close his Upper East Side flagship (and lay off his 74 employees) if his landlord insists on doubling his rent. [Crain's]
• Daniel Boulud's DBGB held a preview last night for industry peeps and, sure enough, loads of industry types turned up. Commoners will get a chance to try out DB's latest venture when it opens to the public on June 8. [TFB, GS, Eater]
• Ipuddo, the EV ramen spot, gets one star from Bruni in today's Times. [NYT]
• Yama on Houston has closed; the lounge Stay caught fire last night. [Eater]
• A bunch of Hamptons bouncers have been busted for dealing drugs. [NYP]
• Nobu in London still serves endangered bluefin tuna because the chefs there insist on it. Or at least that's how Nobu GM Richie Notar explains it. [TFB]

The Way We Live Now: Hungrily. We've been reduced to eating food that we canned ourselves. What did we can? The weeds in the garden. Mmm, minimal sustenance.

• David Bouley has shuttered Secession, which he opened last fall (and which he'd hoped to save by hiring Christian Delouvrier as chef recently). In its place, he's planning to open a Japanese restaurant called Brushstroke. [NYT]
• Manhattan's Water Taxi Beach debuted this weekend. [GS]
• Noah Tepperberg's new "gastropub/ultralounge," Avenue, will open on June 1 with a party for Mandy Moore. In the meantime, Marc Jacobs held a 30th birthday party there recently for fiancé Lorenzo Martone. [NYM]
• Ruth Madoff is a fan of the steak at Donohue's on Lexington, it seems. [P6]
• The new Baja Fresh opened in Midtown today. [ML]

• A summer bar preview and a roundup of happy-hour specials. [AMNY, NYP]
• The restaurant at the Andre Balazs's Standard Hotel doesn't debut until June, but the outdoor patio—which serves food—has opened. [GS]
• More photos of Locanda Verde, which is now in the hands of Andrew Carmellini, NYC's "best young Italian chef," according to David Chang. [GS, P6]
• The price of beer and wine may go up if Washington gets its way. [NYP]
• Speaking of wine, now isn't such a bad time to be investing in it, FYI. [NYT]
• A recap (and photos) from last night's Taste of the Nation event. [Metromix]

• Keith McNally's Minetta Tavern and its selection of steaks score rave reviews—and three stars—from Frank Bruni in today's New York Times. [NYT]
• A peek around Warren 77, the bar that Ranger Sean Avery co-owns. [GS]
• Jeffrey Chodorow's next project, set to open in the new Kimpton Hotel in 2010, will be a Spanish restaurant and "global food park." [IC]
• A wine auction at Christie's last night raked in $1.1 million. [NYP]
• Dining in a recession: AMNY's list of spots that offer free good. [AMNY]

• Water Taxi Beach opens at the South Street Seaport this weekend. [GS]
• Danny Meyer has decided against bidding on Tavern on the Green's lease. But Seth Greenberg and Dean Poll are still in the running. [NYP]
• Alan Richman's list of "the 25 best pizzas you'll ever eat" is online. [GQ]
• A drug racket that served up Ecstasy, Special K, and GHB to clubgoers at places like Pacha and Mansion has been broken up by the cops. [NYDN]
• A look around The Brooklyn Star, Joaquin Baca's new restaurant. [Eater]
• An amusing chat with Chris Santos, chef/owner of Stanton Social. [Decider]
• Be on alert: Starbucks biggest marketing campaign ever is underway. [NYT]

• Daniel Boulud unveiled his new DBGB to the press on Saturday. A menu devoted to 14 different kinds of sausage, two dozen beers on tap, and more is coming your way in early June. [Zagat, TONY, Metromix, Eater, TFB]
• A roundup of restaurants scheduled to open this week. [TONY]
• Thomas Keller confirms Jonathan Benno is parting ways with Per Se. [GS]
• Danny Meyer confirms he's out of the race for Tavern on the Green. [NYO]
• Robert De Niro chats about his Locanda Verde, opening this week. [NYM]
• Warren 77, the new bar/restaurant by the Beatrice Inn's Matt Abramcyk, Chris Miller, and hockey star Sean Avery opened on Friday eve. [NYO, GS]
• Adam Platt gives high marks (and three stars) to Seasonal this week. [NYM]

Just as the kids today use alcohol labeling to ensure economical intoxication, so may the fatties of tomorrow make use of New York's fast food calorie labeling.

• Frank Bruni explains why he's stepping down as the Times' restaurant critic; a GM details what it's like to constantly obsess about a NYT review. [NYT, Eater]
• Then again, the most coveted job in food comes with its downsides. [TFB]
• Michael White and Chris Cannon's Marea opens tonight. [GS]
• A sneak peek at Locanda Verde, which may open as soon as next week. [GS]
• A former manager at Justin Timberlake's barbecue joint, Southern Hospitality, has filed suit against the restaurant for sexual harassment. [NYDN]
• A look at Entwine, a new wine bar/lounge in the far West Village. [Gothamist]

• Frank Bruni will soon step down as the Times' chief restaurant critic. Who will replace him? Eater rounds up some of the faves as well as a bunch of unlikely picks, like Katie Lee Joel, who has a 475,000-1 shot of landing the gig. [Eater]
• Bruni's first appearance (second coming out?) after he steps down from the Times will be at the New York City Wine & Food Festival on Oct. 8. [GS]
• The UWS isn't the dining ghetto it once was thanks to the likes of Zak Pelaccio, Michael Huynh, Tom Valenti, Michael Psilakis, and Danny Meyer. [NYP]
• Start saving up: Marea, Michael White and Chris Cannon's temple of seafood, opens in the former San Domenico space on CPS tomorrow. [Eater]

What happens to the delicate fabric of spacetime when stories in the same Thursday New York Times Style Section flow logically into one another in a perpetual, unceasing circle? We're about to find out:

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—the most powerful man in food, in his own way—is leaving the restaurant beat to become a writer-at-large for the NYT magazine. This memo just went out:

As expected, Frank Bruni is giving up his coveted gig as the New York Times' restaurant critic so he can hit the trail and promote his forthcoming book (and not have to do it behind a wig and sunglasses). Per the official memo: "Recognizing that the book is certain to seriously compromise his ability to be a spy in the land of food, Frank picked this as a natural time to move on. He will be turning in his restaurant-critic credentials when his memoir, "Born Round: the Secret History of a Full-Time Eater," is published in late August. After a break for book promotion and some overdue vacation, Frank will become a writer-at-large on the staff of our Sunday magazine..." The job hasn't been filled yet, by the way. Interested? Call 212-556-1234 and ask for Bill. [NYT, Gawker]