The remaining chefs on Top Chef Masters prepared a meal for members of The Groundlings improv group. When the dessert course came out, the comedians offered a unique perspective on the food before them—it tastes like vaginas!

The Environmental Working Group, a public health nonprofit, has created a list of the fruits and vegetables most contaminated by pesticides according to the government's produce pesticide reports. Do you like peaches? Than you may not want to keep reading.

In the case that you didn't shovel in a ton of food on this Memorial Day, you can feed your need for cake tonight on TLC. Cake Boss is back with an episode that celebrates the bakery's 100th anniversary.

You will measure your life before and after this moment. After years of merely overlapping triangular pieces of cheese on their sandwiches, cruelly loading one side with more than the other, Subway will now tessellate the slices, according to Consumerist.

Would you eat a cheeseburger from a vending machine? What if that cheeseburger was endorsed by NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt Jr.? Fret not: Such a product—the Dale Jr. cheeseburger—will soon be available, from vending machines across the land!

Microcelebrity expert and Gawker fixture Rex Sorgatz has designed a restaurant only a fameball could love, complete with a 240-inch internet buzz monitor, iPad waiters and an online resale program for its bizarre hamburgers. Eater.com explains the whole thing below.

Pretty soon, you will have to wear a bathing suit, outside of your house. Will you look like a babe/hunk? Not if you are eating the nine chain restaurant meals or 20 drinks that are the "worst in America."

Deadly sunscreen! Hooters fat! Soda hypertension! Vaccine kids! Dirty blood! Swimming babies! Swallowing batteries! It's your super-scientific Health Watch, where we watch your health—while developing firm opinions on issues too technical for us to grasp!

Hero restaurateur speaks out against kiddie menus.

Doctors want the FDA to label foods that are choking hazards. Hey: Hot dogs kill.

A Welsh man wanted to enjoy a frozen pizza from ASDA (a British supermarket chain) one night, but discovered that there was "absolutely no topping" on it. So, he called to complain. The end of the call? Priceless. Audio inside.

"Where's the beef?" That will likely be exclaimed when you learn that our nation's fast food industry is facing a new crisis: beef is not so cheap these days. Not to worry! Fast food chains have many other "delicious" options.

A new study from the Harvard School of Public Health claims that eating processed meats can increase the risk of heart disease by 42%, and type 2 diabetes by 19%. The main culprit here? Salt. Bloomberg was right! [Harvard, pic]

Why is Neapolitan pizza so good? Could it be the fresh ingredients? The recipes passed down from generation to generation? The long tradition of pizza-making? Or maybe it's the coffin wood possibly being used to fuel the ovens? [AFP]

Foodie Adam Platt has tactfully responded to Keith McNally's vicious letter over a bad review.

After a negative review of his new pizzeria Pulino's by New York critic Adam Platt, the Balthazar and Pastis owner lashed out in a public letter calling Platt "over-weight" and "bald". Here's the whole Bob Dylan-referencing screed.

Bullshit allergies! Rachael Ray eats in the cafeteria! Michelle Obama hates Happy Meals! Books are organic to eat! Dave Zinczenko does not speak English! It's your important Health Watch, where we watch your health—while sipping juice-like beverages!

Over the weekend in Lebanon, world food records of national importance were broken in a one-two punch.

Horse therapy! Lettuce addicts! Healthy men! Bodega diets! Church workouts! Nursery cake! Food mockery! It's your Monday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—while snacking voraciously!

The Beard Awards, a.k.a. the "food Oscars," were awarded tonight, and most went to big NYC food names like Tom Colicchio and Shake Shack's Danny Meyer. KFC, despite the revolutionary Double Down, was shut out. Click through for the list.