A Florida woman who celebrated her 21st birthday last week by going out with a man she met through a series of texts ended up getting carjacked by her date following a romantic walk on the beach.

Pity the suburban commuter school that goes belly-up trying to spend its way to college-football greatness, then looks to cover its bet with shady stadium-naming rights. Pity the Florida Atlantic University Owls.

Florida is more scared of Islamic theocracy than anything else in the world, except maybe your Aunt Ethel in Boynton Beach. Fortunately, Florida has figured out how to neutralize both threats with a single proposed law.

Florida is home to such disproportionate levels of weird crime, you have to wonder what cops do all day. A soft-core edition of the Sun Sentinel has the answer: some get buck-naked in the name of justice and take down massage parlors.

Low on cash? Florida's here to help you out with one of its signature, foolproof money-making schemes: stealing baby formula.

On March 30, a woman in Florida started drinking to combat her loneliness. She soon became drunk. Standard enough, right? We've all been there. Less standard, however, is what the woman did next. According to police reports, 64-year-old Fleurette French then called 911 to report a fake medical issue. When a medic arrived on the scene, French told him the truth.

Florida has a new problem: Giant African land snails. The snails, which can grow as large as rats, were first discovered in South Florida by a homeowner in 2011, according to the Florida Department of Agriculture. Since then over 117,000 have been found and more than a thousand more are caught each week.

A horrific accident in Palm Harbor, Florida left a two-and-a-half year old girl a triple amputee. The girl's father was driving his riding lawn mower down his driveway when his daughter crossed in front of him, apparently slipping and falling. The girl's mother attempted to flag the father down and yelled for him to stop, but couldn't be heard over the engine. The father then accidentally ran the girl over, reportedly dragging her down the driveway and into the street before he noticed what he'd done.

Take heart, German Nutella highway pirates: You are not alone. Florida state troopers arrested a 51-year-old Orlando man Monday for commandeering a tractor-trailer full of soup bound for a supermarket depot. Police pursued Eusebio Diaz Acosta with a helicopter and a K9 unit for nearly 30 miles on a South Florida stretch of the state turnpike before he curbed the Campbell's soup-laden lorry.

"When I picked this one up, I knew he was special," Patti Burke told Florida Today.

Hillsborough County officials have released video of the sinkhole that killed a man in his home in Seffner, Florida in early March. Jeff Bush, 37, was swallowed into the 60-foot-deep sinkhole before his brother Jeremy could save him.

A pair of popular morning show hosts from a Southwest Florida radio station have been suspended indefinitely following an April Fools' Day joke that the station's General Manager believes crossed a line.

A Sheriff's Office in Florida recently learned that a phone number it has been handing out to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault actually leads to a phone sex line.

When Jennifer Maldonado opted out of her office's lottery pool, she figured it was no big deal.

Gainesville mayor Craig Lowe was arrested early this morning by Florida Highway Patrol troopers after he was found asleep behind the wheel of a badly damaged Honda Civic near the scene of an accident.

Meanwhile, in Florida, an escort is in custody: "He described it as if she were trying to eat his penis and testicles."

Two high school students in Florida were arrested today following an investigation into an alleged sex act that took place in the school's library last week, which was filmed by a student and shared with classmates.

Police investigating reports of a man with a gun at a University of Central Florida dorm found a student dead from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound—and explosives and firearms in his room. All morning classes have been cancelled, and the dorm has been evacuated.

Bad: Criminal defense attorney Thomas Lewis Edwards of Gainesville, Florida, was arrested over the weekend and charges with multiple counts stemming from an alleged drunken hit-and-run.

But they did it anyway.