The following thoughts have flickered through my mind in rapid succession at least once a week for as long as I have worked on the fourth floor of Gawker Media's offices.

Laughably lame right-wing filmmaker James O'Keefe III is thinking about suing (broke) liberal website Salon "for their false and malicious reporting." I know this because he asked me, an employee at a liberal website he considers his enemy, for advice.

At 12:30AM Sunday, I thought the reason I wasn't getting home as early as planned was that piece-of-shit L train. Seven hours later I found out it was because, among other things, of a severed head.

Fifteen minutes ago, I encountered an unflushed turd in the bowl of a workplace toilet. A harmless event that nonetheless evoked kneejerk revulsion and tested my character. Would I step up and bravely flush, or would I flee?

Under house arrest and awaiting trial for the alleged sexual assault of a chambermaid, Dominique Strauss-Kahn is living in a three-story TriBeCa townhouse. Before Strauss-Kahn moved in, the townhouse was used as a venue for corporate parties. I went to one! (You didn't think I partied there with him, did you? Way too dangerous.)

Manhattanite Peter Helfer found his Audi covered in ice from a broken water main. His car was on newspaper covers, on morning news shows, and all over the internet. Here's how it happened, in his own words. [Jalopnik]