Yesterday, the New York Daily News ran a story that sounds salacious at first blush. "EXCLUSIVE: New FDNY firefighter starred in at least 10 gay porn flicks before joining Bravest" reads the headline. I admit it, I clicked!

A group of Washington firefighters who wanted to provide "good customer service" revived a family of baby hamsters with tiny little breathing tubes after responding to a burning home last week.

On Monday, three firefighters who served on 9/11 died within hours of each other, according to the BBC. Lieutenant Howard Bischoff, 58, and firefighters Robert Leaver, 56, and Daniel Heglund, 58, all died of cancer, though it's unclear if their illnesses were linked to their service after the attacks.

A California highway patrol officer handcuffed and detained a firefighter who was treating car crash victims last night after he refused to stop the rescue to move his truck.

Last weekend, Medrick Cecil Mills, 77, collapsed in the street in Washington, DC. Fortunately, he was across the street from a firehouse. Unfortunately, they wouldn't help him.

Inadequate radio communication was to blame for the deaths of 19 Arizona firefighters in June, according to an Arizona State Forestry Division investigation.

More like Fahrenheit 450-dumb. A fake Florida firefighter was arrested after he set fire to a library in the hopes of joining the real firefighters who came to put out the blaze.

An FDNY firefighter is being charged with grand larceny and burglary by police after making fake 911 calls and then robbing firehouses after firefighters had gone off to respond to the fake emergencies.

A Lower East Side firefighter was arrested Friday after he mugged an off-duty cop and tried to steal his gun.

Why did 19 elite firefighters die in an Arizona wildfire on Sunday? Not to save lives—no, they died protecting "people’s summer homes and year-round retreats."

Nineteen firefighters battling a massive wildfire in Yarnell, Arizona have died. The Yarnell Hill Fire started on Friday, likely from a lightning strike, and has since burned over 2,000 acres and forced the evacuation of at least 50 homes.

Big day for heroic firefighters: In Georgia, firefighters received an award from PETA for rescuing ducklings from a storm drain. Meanwhile, in New York City, the FDNY had to rescue an NYPD officer and a cat stuck 30 feet up in a tree.

There was a gruesome scene Sunday morning in Manhattan's Chinatown after a man attacked his wife with a meat cleaver, causing critical injuries before nearby firefighters came to the woman's rescue. The unidentified 28-year-old attacker was pulling his wife down a busy street when two New York City firefighters, Jose Ortiz and James Trainor, spotted the pair from their firehouse and attempted to intervene.

A Highland Park firefighter who spent last year posting helmet cam footage of his Detroit-area firefights to YouTube concluded 2012 by uploading an 8-minute highlight reel of his better action shots.

A female resident of Portland, Oregon was at home cooking tofu when, suddenly and without warning, her kitchen exploded. The woman said she was rinsing her tofu pan in the sink when a mysterious force—she isn't sure what—burned her hand and knocked a six-foot window out of her home and onto the street.

The folks who run Camden County, Georgia are weighing a hot new proposal in the reemerging market of slave labor: Inmates as firefighters! Get it? You get the inmates to put out the fires, and then you don't have to pay firefighters. What's not to like about this depressing tale from the age of austerity?

The International Association of Fire Fighters—the sexiest of all unions—has announced that it's suspending all of its contributions to federal candidates "out of frustration with Congressional Democrats." Which is not an uncommon feeling these days! But the firefighters' union donated nearly $2 million to Democratic candidates for the 2010 elections, so their spending suspension may be taken a bit more seriously than mine. "We're feeling taken for granted," the union's president, Harold Schaitberger, told The New York Times, which seems reasonable—after all, they don't just donate money and support Democratic candidates; they also fight fires, in peoples' homes. IAFF's dough will now go to state and local-level candidates, especially in states where unions are being threatened by Tea Party jerkoffs. Expect Senate Democrats to respond by sucking up extra hard to rich people. [NYT; image via AP]

Two years ago, Florida firefighter and paramedic Cindy Economou served six months of probation for second-degree petty theft for stealing a disembodied foot from the scene of a car crash with the ulterior motive of using it to train her cadaver-sniffing dog. Economou's excuse: "It was an unrecognizable mass of flesh. It wasn't a clean cut. You couldn't even recognize it as a foot… If I had thought it was somehow reattachable and usable, I would have gone to my commander." Well, in that case—hmm, no, still horrifying.

Starting in 2012 the FDNY will officially reinstate its shirtless beefcake calendar, but the money it raises won't go to charity as it did before. No, now proceeds will go to the cash-strapped fire department itself.

Today we wrote very serious things about Time magazine's boy genius Mark Zuckerberg and the barely literate FDNY entrance exam, and how did you respond? The only way you lovable perverts know how: with half-naked guy pictures.