Following a dismal showing in New Hampshire, Chris Christie has reportedly decided to suspend his campaign and stay in New Jersey.

We thought for sure the crazy/cuddly/cathartic antics of Astoria's belles du jour Emily and Michelle would result in someone, anyone, taking up their offer to move in with them in their four bedroom apartment . They even threw a potluck! They even sang songs! They even have A DOUGLAS! Everyone wants a Douglas! Imagine our sadness and, quite frankly, disappointment upon seeing receiving hearing that the room was still unoccupied.