Laura Ling and Euna Lee, freed from North Korea. David Rohde escaped from the Taliban. Kidnapping is a constant danger to journalists—and an awesome career opportunity! Here's how to take advantage of the scarynewsiest moment of your life.

All the smart/ cowardly politicians bailed on the NYC mayor's race when Mike Bloomberg strongarmed himself back onto the ballot. But there is still a handful of comical challengers to our Mayor-for-life! Below, a guide to the losers.

We asked, and you answered. After the jump, everything you need to know about how to survive a McKinsey & Co. visit to your company, without getting canned. This one's for you, Conde Nasties.

Go to any function where advertising "creatives" gather, and you will see that guy: the one wearing some old Converse, or crazy purple-yellow-red-green Adidas he designed himself, online. The average old person would not think such a cool guy could be such a corporate hack, but they would be wrong! We're not here to give you list of facts about Alex Bogusky's career (he's the chairman of Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the supercool ad agency that brought you the weird Burger King ads, Microsoft's current ad campaign, and many others—basically the EDGY agency that's not too edgy for corporate behemoths)—we're just here to demonstrate to you that, yes, Alex Bogusky is that ad guy. Okay:

As the L.A. media otherwise disappers, Jay Penske is in empire-building mode. His hitherto low-profile Mail.com Media Corporation acquired Nikki Finke's showbiz blog and he backed Movieline in April. From what we've gleaned, the guy's a true Tinseltown dreamer.

Peter Getty's breezy, self-pitying musings on being idle righ infuriated fellow San Franciscans and, indeed, people across the country. Who is this heir, and why does he find copious wealth so unpalatable? Here's a quick rundown.

The Financial Times reports that "among the biggest backers" of Facebook's new funder is Alisher Usmanov. He might be playing sugar daddy to a freewheeling social network, but the Russian oligarch is also known as a "devourer of websites" that dared to mention certain allegations about his past.

Michael Saylor lost a record $6 billion in the tech bubble nine years ago, so maybe that's why the MicroStrategy CEO isn't letting the current financial crisis crimp his style. (Update: Correction after the jump.) Is his conspicuous high-rolling meant to signal a comeback by the culty executive?

President Obama has an awesome new strategy for dealing with Republican leadership: send 'em to China. Meet Republican former Utah Governor, and now, Obama appointee Jon Huntsman Jr.

The reported efforts by a "suspected Israeli operative" to get Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.) to quash an espionage prosecution into AIPAC hinge on Haim Saban, an Israeli-American billionaire. Who is he?

It's a crazy new hipster character fond of criminal and sexual hijinks! Let's meet Kari Ferrell, the 22 year-old tattooed Utah girl who scammed her way through hipster Brooklyn. Sex, lies, cancer, and bands, yea!

Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:

Slowly, news is starting to come out about 'Jiverly Voong,' the gunman who shot and killed more than a dozen people in a Binghamton immigration center yesterday. He was an angry gun-obsessed loner, surprise.

A staff writer at Michael Wolff's Newser, Victoria Floethe, is rumored to be having an affair with her boss. Who knew there were any media jobs still worth sleeping your way into?

Yesterday's ViddyHo worm, which spread over Google Talk and Gmail, has been linked by some to Hoan Ton-That, a San Francisco software developer. A very San Francisco software developer.

The New York Post issued an angry non-apology for Sean Delonas' monkey cartoon. The New York Times issued a mealy-mouthed non-apology for its winking John McCain(*cough*SEX*cough*)-lobbyist story. Please; it's very important to non-apologize correctly:

Want a date with the Obamas? The New New Camelot has a Zulu queen as its gatekeeper. Meet Desirée Rogers, the White House social networker who sat next to Anna Wintour at Fashion Week.

Is the bad economy a turn-on, or a turn-off? With a fake recession trend story, either can be true! Just study this easy guide to manufacturing trends in these tough times. Everybody's doing it:

That's what the National Enquirer is claiming. The political salt-n-pepper actor has apparently been wooing Fatima Bhutto, a 26-year-old poet and journalist. Let's learn more about her.

Who is Dan Loeb, the rich guy who flew NonSociety egobloggers Julia Allison and Meghan Asha home from Davos in his private jet? He's a widely hated surfer, yoga enthusiast, and hedge-fund manager!