You'd think that after Regis Philbin left his daytime talker that ratings would go down, right? Wrong! It seems he was keeping them down all along. Now that he's gone, more people are watching Live with [TK] and Kelly than ever!

A hearty mazel tov to well-known penis photographer Anthony Weiner and his way-out-of-his-league wife, State Department attaché Huma Abedin, who gave birth yesterday to a boy. Jordan Zane Weiner clocked in at seven pounds and was born ten days early, giving him a head start on his journey to The Most Awkward Father-Son Conversation of All Time. [NYP, image via AP]

This couple doesn't want the world knowing they have a special needs child. These costars are getting hot and heavy and this starlet is taking bills to look fatter. Yes, fatter! That's a new one.

The Recording Academy announced Steve Jobs will receive a Trustees Award. Jobs's Apple won a technical Grammy in 2002, but this posthumous honor puts him in pantheon with The Beatles - who Jobs promised he'd never sell music (oops!).

Here's HBO's teaser for its upcoming adaptation of Mark Halperin and John Heilemann's book Game Change, the definitive account of gossipy things that people told Mark Halperin and John Heilemann during the 2008 presidential campaign. This clip suggests that, well, Sarah Palin may not be portrayed very nicely?

The FDA is cracking down on a San Francisco man who gives away his spooj on the internet to people he meets through his website. So far, Trent Arsenault has helped 14 couples get pregnant. But not all of them are aware that Arsenault is turning his "donations" into a torrent of amateur porn.

Carp Christmas! Nanophotonic Christmas! Fire Christmas! Pepper Christmas! Vitamin Christmas! Gene Christmas! Campus Christmas! Computer Christmas! And the all important Christmas Christmas! It's your Christmas Science Watch, where we watch science—it's almost Christmas!

Hackers in China have reportedly gained total access to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's computer systems, including six weeks of emails relating to the lobbying group's Asia policy. After the FBI alerted the Chamber to the breach, the pro-business group hired private computer investigators to fix the problem. But the free market has been utterly helpless to stop this communist menace.

Remember the awesome Halloween lights that danced to "Monster Mash?" Well, not to be outdone, this house has synced their Christmas lights to Katy Perry's "Firework." Amazing.

One should never underestimate House Republicans' ability to save face after attracting the entire political world's ire, but this latest corner they've trapped themselves in over the payroll tax cut extension will require some stunningly creative moves to escape. Maybe Rick Perry can teach them some of these moves? Otherwise, yikes.

University of Iowa professor and pretentious troll-journalist Stephen Bloom recently wrote an article in The Atlantic mocking Iowa as a backward, hick-filled state full of people smoking meth out of corncobs (paraphrasing). Which it is, probably! (Never been there personally, thank god.) But now Stephen Bloom has literally fled the state in terror to "an undisclosed location" after Iowans got mad at him. You're doing this all wrong, Stephen Bloom.

Rick Perry's latest ad, "American Story," starts off with a good concept: It eliminates "Rick Perry" from the ad altogether, instead leaving things to his wife, Anita. She tells us about their early years, like when Rick Perry joined the Air Force and "flew planes all over the world." Okay, fine. But then, around, :24, her husband makes his entrance. Nay — he makes the campaign ad entrance of the year, hopping onto a ledge. Oh my God. [Standing ovation.]

There was a 30 percent increase in complaints about "romance scams" last month, according to Western Union. A "romance scam" is where someone spends months and months having in-depth email conversations with you, and then gets you to send them money. Except for the lack of a proper couch, formal credentials, and some honesty, these scams sound a lot like psychological counseling. So why not reverse the scam?

The Nassau County Police Department has acknowledged in a court filing that Bill O'Reilly played a role in an internal affairs investigation into an NCPD detective, confirming a key element of Gawker's exclusive story last August detailing how the Fox News blowhard tried to have the cop who was dating his wife investigated by his own police department.

Copyranter points us to these ads, for a Chinese restaurant in Dubai. These ads just came out, in the year 2011.

Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson has dropped out of the Republican presidential race. He rarely ever polled above 8 — people, not percentage points. He made a popular Rush Limbaugh joke about doggie poop during one of the two debates in which he appeared. He took his shirt off for the papers and rode a bike. He courted pagans, online gamblers, and other knaves. And now he will run for the Libertarian party nomination, and maybe decide the presidential election.

First there was Kim's whole wedding debacle, now there's the PR bombshell that some of the clothes the Kardashians sell on QVC and other products they endorse are made in China using what is akin to slave labor. Uh-oh!

Out of work? Hard up for cash? Why not just post up in Times Square with "Help! I Need Money For Weed!" scrawled on an inexpensive piece of posterboard? Works for Josh Long! From the NYT:

Kim Jong-il died on a train Saturday morning… or did he? The Kim Jong-il conspiracy theories are starting to flow. There's nothing so far about Kim getting plastic surgery and joining a Ukrainian pro hockey team, but give it time.

Might as well get THIS one out of the way: the Sex/ Internet/ Microfame story of the week comes to us courtesy of Kat Stoeffel at the New York Observer, who introduces us to 21 year-old college student and occasional writer-about-sex on the internet "Marie Calloway" (a pseudonym). Sometimes Marie writes about sex, on Tumblr, or on Thought Catalog. Does this make her "the model for literary seductresses" in the "internet age?" No. It just makes her a girl, with a Tumblr.