While we all wait for the Supreme Court to rule on Obamacare, a decision set to come Thursday, Stephen Colbert isn't just sitting around doing nothing. He's preparing for every possible decision and he shared all the options on tonight's Colbert Report.
Both President Obama and Mitt Romney spoke at the NALEO conference last week just before the Supreme Court's decision about Arizona's controversial immigration laws. So who did a better job of getting his message across? On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it down.
I was in Italy for the last couple weeks, and I saw a lot of fine art. But it was all basically bullshit compared to the Fine Art of John McNaughton, painter and patriot, whose newest masterpiece "The Empowered Man" welcomes me home like a bald eagle with the head of the Statue of Liberty, whistling the solo from "Hotel California" and embracing me between its powerful, masculine wings.
Okay, here is the ABSOLUTELY TRUE setup to the jokes which you are about to hear: Chester M. "Chet Haze" Hanks is the Northwestern University-educated son of multimillionaire Oscar-winning Hollywood superstar Tom Hanks. The very definition of a self-made man, in other words. And he's a rapper. Haha. But wait, scratch that—now he's an R&B singer. Haha. I know. Here's his new single. Haha. Stop it, wait, we're getting to the point here. So anyhow, Chet Haze is active on Twitter, for the fans. If you haven't been reading in the past few days, you've missed out, yo:
We joke around a lot in a good-natured fashion about how recent graduates of law school are fucked up, down, and sideways. "You guys are just straight fucked," we often say (joshingly). Well—imagine our surprise when we found out that, in fact, recent graduates of law school really are fucked. Yikes! Touchy subject.
Fabulously wealthy CEO whisperer and newspaper columnist Thomas Friedman is little more than a human-shaped random word generator programmed with the "Computers and Internet" section of a fourth-grade vocabulary textbook and fitted with a mustache. He writes one single column, sometimes using different proper nouns or cycling through slightly new platitudes, in order to allow a new headline to be written. The Only Thomas Friedman Column That Exists—which ran right on schedule yesterday—opens like this:
Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.
In recent years, a few teenage right wingers have gained some nototriety - Jonathan Krohn and Caiden Cowger chief among them - and Bill Maher closed tonight's Real Time with a rant that began with them. Simply put: if a teenager can perfectly deliver your message, there's something wrong with that message.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert recapped everything that's gone on with Egypt's turbulent political situation. He began, naturally, several thousand years ago and ended with the latest back and forth regarding the health of Hosni Mubarak and the results of recent elections.
With seemingly no other option but fessing up to the Fast and Furious program, President Obama has exerted executive privilege over various documents. If only Obama, and many others on the left, hadn't come out completely against the practice when George W. Bush pulled the same thing five years ago. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it all down.
Even though their father has been conspicuously absent from most non-Fox News media outlets, his five sons appeared on tonight's Conan. To start off, Conan does the only sensible thing and hands out name tags then goes right after their collective love of khakis.
Ostensibly there to promote the new Woody Allen film To Rome With Love, Alec Baldwin used an appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman tonight to tell his side of his recent scuffle with a paparazzo.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen addressed the fallout from Congress' investigation into the Fast and Furious program, specifically Attorney General Eric Holder being found in contempt of Congress. He also used the issue as a jumping off point to address Joe the Plumber's recent ad which equated gun control with the Holocaust.
On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart took a look at the little flap caused by the chilly body language between President Obama and Russian President Vladimir Putin. While CNN was busy wondering whether or not there was even a story here, Fox News was up to their usual antics: taking a few out of context clips and comparing them to Ronald Reagan's actions.
As an American I though I'd grown jaded to bizarre pizza toppings. After all, I've seen my compatriots create such abominations as the cheeseburger crust pizza, the breakfast pizza and the Oreo pizza. So it is a testament to Swedes' twisted imagination that Swedish pizzas makes me wonder what they're putting in the Fjords up there.
President Obama's recent immigration initiatives have made the Republicans super mad - when they aren't decrying the move as political pandering, they are characterizing it as a gross misuse of executive power. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart examined some recent attempts by Fox News to mischaracterize Obama's stance.
There are two kinds of murder-mystery archetypes—one where everyone is a suspect and one that explores the world in which such an act could take place. The Killing, which finished its two-season slog to completion Sunday night, failed for many reasons. But its inability to figure out to which archetype it belonged was the seed of all its problems.
