Shauna Bass is the entertainment director and former East Coast news editor at OK! Magazine. She frequently makes media appearances as an expert on reality TV. Last week, Simba, her pet Pomeranian, passed away. Sad. But Shauna's pain has been soothed by more than $5,000 in donations—most of it from people who have a professional obligation to get into OK! Magazine.
This week, News Corp announced that it would spin off its publishing division, thereby sequestering the moldy old newspapers and other not-so-good-but-romantic businesses in their own little quarantine area, while the moneymaking TV and entertainment properties shed the dead weight and continued to print money. It's a common-sense move that News Corp executives not named "Rupert Murdoch" have been advocating for for years. But with all due respect to the mean old man, he's organizing this thing all wrong.
A tipster tells us (and Twitter confirms) that Bloomberg's website has been blocked in China thanks to their publication this morning of this lengthy investigative story detailing the wealth of various relatives of Xi Jinping (pictured, with Hank Paulson), the man likely to be China's next president.
On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert laid his heart on the table and was very upfront about how it had been broken by Chief Justice John Roberts today. With his vote swinging the Supreme Court's ruling, Roberts didn't just uphold Obamacare, he destroyed Colbert and a few other Republicans as well.
We're all aware of the Supreme Court's Obamacare ruling today (and the fuck ups by CNN and Fox News) but what happened in spin alley after the decision came down? On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart took a survey of some Republican reactions, focusing on Mitt Romney's completely predictable (and contradictory) remarks.
Daniel Tyler and Conrad McConnell, a.k.a. the Idjut Boys, are finally releasing an album. Not another mix or collection or collaboration: an "artist album" called Cellar Door, designed, McConnell says, for "hav[ing] a cup of coffee and read[ing] the paper." It still sounds like classic Idjuts, though — spacey and shaggy and drenched in echo and reverb — and it's only a matter of time before the whole thing is reworked for one of the pair's legendarily long sets. "Going Down," which we're premiering here, has apparently already been the recipient of a "drum and bassy dub" mix. Not that it needs it.
If you read "the business section" or invest in a "portfolio" or are a member of or have ever gotten into an argument with a member of "the Republican Party," you're probably familiar with the argument that corporations have a moral and legal duty to act solely to grow their value for their own shareholders. If you are not a corporation's shareholder, in other words, it has no duty to do shit for you. Now, this idea is being challenged. BUT: should it be?
The Supreme Court has ruled 5-4 in favor of the Obama administration on the Affordable Care Act, upholding the constitutionality of the law's individual mandate as a tax. The majority opinion was written by Chief Justice John Roberts, who joined the court's liberal bloc. "The bottom line," SCOTUSBlog writes, is that "the entire ACA is upheld, with the exception that the federal government's power to terminate states' Medicaid funds is narrowly read. [...] Chief Justice Roberts' vote saved the ACA." CNN initially, and hilariously, reported incorrectly that the mandate had been struck down, briefly turning Twitter into an entertaining website.
It isn't news that Mitt Romney is raking in donations by the millions, far more than Obama has brought in. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert examined the reasons behind this and the creative ways Obama is trying to catch up.
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's pot decriminalization bill may be all but dead but the issue is still alive in New Jersey where the state legislature is considering the idea. All that stands in the way is the promise of a veto from Governor Chris Christie, who won't go against federal drug policy. And that's funny because he's perfectly willing to flout federal gambling policies.
Which dangerous, trendy nightmare drugs was Rudy "Miami Cannibal" Eugue "tripping balls" on when he tried to eat the face of 65-year-old Ronald Poppo in May? Was it "bath salts" — "the new LSD"? Or "Spice," the "synthetic marijuana"? Or was he on LSD, the "old LSD"? Or was it cocaine psychosis? Or was it all of the drugs at once?? Let's look at the coroner's report to find out:
Let's cut the bullshit and stop the rigmarole and quit giving this the runaround, shall we? This joke internet column is purportedly about fitness, and that means that it is, before anything else, about squats. You want to talk about fitness without talking about squats? I will spit on your grave, after you die. That is an appropriate reaction on my part. This is that serious.
Supporters of Arizona's mostly-struck-down immigration policies have continuously framed the issue as one of states' rights versus federal rights. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert suggested some other ways Arizona can assert its rights.
It's no surprise that the pundits on the right are going after Obama over Fast and Furious and his executive order but their continued outlandish hypocrisy over the issue has really drawn the ire of Jon Stewart. On tonight's Daily Show, he continued to pound home the right's—Fox News' in particular—hypocritical stance on the issue.
Rich liar Mitch Albom, once described by H.P. Lovecraft as "a grotesque scaly body with rudimentary wings," has written a column about 50 Shades of Grey. Reading it is like coming across a big shotgun next to a tiny barrel with an enormous, beautiful fish inside, only the fish has already hung itself from a tiny noose.
What will be the lasting legacy of gay marriage? A more just and equal society? Or all white people being forced onto reservations by the first American Indian president? If you ask Patricia Weber, "La Jolla resident since 1953," it's... the white deportation one.
America's women, once famed the world over for their purity and tended lovingly by husbands in their kitchens to preserve their precious virtue, are now little more than a gaggle of slatternly harlots, screeching for ever-shorter shorts in a neverending quest to expose greater and greater quantities of naked flesh on their soft, supple upper thighs.
Louis C.K. stopped by the Tonight Show as the third season of Louis C.K.'s brilliant Louie premieres this week. Here are two great bits from his appearance: ragging on Jay Leno's weird face and Jerry Sandusky.
