This is simply no way to address New Hampshire Republican Party Chairman Wayne MacDonald on his big day. He was not amused. Perhaps it was another sabotage from this notorious CSPAN prank caller? [Fishbowl DC via Raw Story]

The internet booming with all of these people doing riffs on the Shit Girls Say video that went viral. I thought long and hard about some real advice for all of you out there thinking about making one to add to the conversation.

Everybody is talking about Tim Tebow. Except for you. Who is Tim Tebow? you're asking yourself, after spending 10 minutes nodding silently while coworkers discussed his game this weekend against the Patriots. (What sport is this? you are probably also asking. For the record: football.) It's okay, non sports fan: here is your exclusive guide to Tim Tebow.

You never call, you never write, and Google has had it: If you would like entry into the spiffy new Google search results, and you are a social network, Google would like you to send the company a letter first.

Newt Gingrich already has ads running in South Carolina attacking Mitt Romney as "pro-abortion," and his Super PAC is planning to drop a socialist neutron bomb on Romney's career at Bain Capital, thanks to a large donation from a viciously anti-labor casino magnate billionaire. And here's yet another, lighter attack: A compliation of Mitt Romney saying ludicrous things. (Newt Gingrich, see, has never said anything ludicrous in his life.) Who can resist? Especially since it includes the "Who Let the Dogs Out" MLK Day moment of 2008, the pinnacle of Romney's career.

It's reassuring for me, as a writer, to know that if all else fails and my entire career crumbles to pieces, I can always survive by selling Slate literally any story about anything I have ever done. I can derive an entirely new income stream for a period of time equal to the length of my entire writing career, by writing thousands of new stories recounting each individual day of my career, and the exciting—or unexciting—lessons I learned, or did not learn. It doesn't matter that that would be pointless; "pointlessness" is a concept that does not translate to the internet. We're living in a post-pointless era. Enjoy it.

What horrible human outrages does this monstrous world of ours bring today? Video of a "human zoo" in India's Andaman Islands, featuring women from the Jarawa tribe, ordered to dance for tourists in exchange for food.

An American hero by the name of Rich Jones has obtained and published the entire 94-page FBI file of Ol' Dirty Bastard, the Wu-Tang Brooklynnnn Zuhh member who died of a wildness overdose in 2004. Some select highlights are below. [Click to enlarge the images]

This starlet says she hates this director, but they're secretly getting it on. There's a sex tape of this actress, her boyfriend, and a group of his friends. This child star is back on smack, and this celeb hates her life. Do you think she's just saying that and secretly fucking her life?

Another Iranian nuclear scientist was killed today by a magnetic bomb attached to his car. Iran blames the U.S. and/or Israel, but couldn't this have just been an accident? Who hasn't had a magnetic bomb attached to the underside of their car at one time or another?

Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Suzy Q's, Sno Balls, Zingers, and Donettes, among other god damn delicious products, is bankrupt. For the second time in eight years. Labor costs, debt load, flour prices, blah blah blah. What will it take to save Hostess? Will it take Hostess sending out cases of its delicious products out to various popular online media sites, to "build buzz?" Now is the time to find out.

Former Nixonite and coonskin cap-wearing sometime presidential candidate Pat Buchanan has always been a racist relic who appealed mostly to those caveman-like Americans anxious for a return to the Andrew Jackson era. Always. There has never been a time, during his long career as a smiley pundit, in which he was not a racist. So. Although it's kind of nice that he's been suspended by MSNBC, it's the media equivalent of giving all the homeless people in your city a one-way bus ticket just as long as the Olympics are in town.

The next time people ask me what it's like to live in New York City, I'm going to refer them to today's New York Times story about Aaron Vansintjan, the 21-year-old Belgian college student who managed to undergo about four key New York experiences in the span of a few hours.

The rest of the Republican nominees took Mitt Romney to task over his "I like firing people" remark, but Stephen Colbert is standing behind old Mitt. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen made his clear his feelings about Romney's words: they were taken out of context in a way that was completely different from Romney taking President Obama's words regarding John McCain out of context in November. The point is this: as long as Romney is happy firing people, Stephen Colbert is happy to see them fired.

There's been so much hoopla surrounding the Republican primaries, what with debates and caucuses and attack ads and Super PACs, that it's easy to forget there's a great big world out there. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart checked in on Iran and the latest news on their uranium enrichment program. They claim it is for research purposes, the United States doesn't agree, and then there's that all that nasty business about blockading the Straight of Hormuz and sentencing Iranian-Americans to death for spying. It's like living in a sweeping epic that probably won't have a Hollywood ending.

Google today started incorporating private Google Plus data into search results, and competitors and pundits are already crying foul. Twitter Inc. called the move "bad for people, publishers, news organizations and Twitter users." This hurts tweeters and respectable humans? Ouch.

It's time to cover the results of the First Primary in the Nation, New Hampshire — that famous outlier among the Republican coalition that doesn't tell you much about anything! Mitt Romney is expected to win, but will he win by enough? That's how we're sucking you in tonight. If Mitt Romney doesn't get 52% of the vote, or let's say 100%, his campaign is over. Grab your assault rifle and poor a beer down your ear, as we watch — together.

After today's post in which a former Keith Olbermann coworker mildly denigrates Keith Olbermann's choice of footwear, It took only minutes for Keith Olbermann's response email to hit our inbox. Here it is:

With "nothing left to do" on the campaign trail, the Romneys went to the movies this afternoon, where Tagg demonstrated the worst way for a pale-eyed family to pose for a picture: In a dim theater in front of a camera with a flash, which will turn all of their perfect blue eyes into glowing orbs of horror.

At first, the co-chairs of the Congressional Privacy Caucus said they were "concerned" about Facebook's tracking of users. Then they were "alarmed." Now they're just pissed.