Last week, we brought you some firsthand cries of rage, despair, and frustration from inside Bloomberg headquarters. The most paranoid headquarters in all of the New York media world? A strong contender, at least.

It's a tearful day in the world of cosmopolitan magazines and television studios, as the infamously sane Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman has dropped out of the race, due to a near-total void of interest in his campaign among Republican primary voters. How did this relatively competent-seeming person lose his support so dramatically? Well, he didn't; he never had any support. So let's remember his anemic campaign with a gallery of some funny photos and ludicrous screen shots.

The perpetually pouty Instagrammed pout monster that is Lana Del Rey appeared on Saturday Night Live this past weekend and it was well, it was this. And this. And also this. Yes, LDR stunk up the joint and the Internet is going nuts over it. Apparently snarly lip curls and sleepy Benadryl eyes don't work in a live context like they do on YouTube.

Is Rooney Mara contractually obligated to dress like a monochromatic red carpet version of Lisbeth Salander for the duration of the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo series? Or, over the course of playing Salander, did Rooney discover the starkly sexy killer swizzle stick within?

This cast had its share of partying and playing naked Twister on set. They even had a shy girl turned drama queen, an actor who slept with all his costars, a total druggie, and another guy who everyone hated. Sounds better than anything they ever put on screen.

The cruise ship Costa Concordia capsized over the weekend, just off the coast of the Italian island of Giglio, killing at least six and terrifying the ship's 4,200 passengers. (All but 15 have been accounted for.) It sounds unbelievably horrifying. But also sort of funny.

Haha, get ready, media-savvy internet readers, because the august New York Times, the Grey Lady, the Paper of Record, has written a whole story about big butts (bottoms). Can you imagine the jibes that online rascals without a care in the world for decorum will come up with about this one??? Someone hide the children, other than the ones who like big butts and cannot lie—we're butting into your business butt good, regarding large butts!

Awards shows are compelling because they're occasions for the rich, famous, and beautiful to go above and beyond to the apogee of glamor. The Golden Globes, however—mostly due to the mass quantities of alcohol and other substances in close proximity—are often the occasion for the glamorous to become beastlike in the blink of an eye. (Except Kate Winslet. She is never not absolutely fabulous.)

Ricky's performance wasn't close to last years in terms of bite but he still got a few good lines in there. Here is a collection of his best.

Tonight the winner of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's Golden Globes were as obvious as they could possibly be. It was a collection of wacky cable television winners and all the expected Oscar favorites and big splashy celebrities from the movie world. And Ricky Gervais was so scary as the host. Here are all the victors.

Or play her off! And, David Fincher, just give her the damned glasses. Come on.

While bringing out Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek, Ricky went to make a joke which went something like "...but I can't understand what the fuck they're saying." But, it had to be inferred because the audio cut out right at that moment.

Not the best or most cutting joke in the world but it's about as daring as anyone is getting during the show. Plus, it recalled when Madonna and Britney Spears kissed back when people cared about Britney. No, really, good on which ever Golden Globes producer whipped that up just before Madonna went on.

Long time marrieds Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy presented Best Actress in a TV Series and instead of the usual hollow patter, they sang a charming little ditty. Here it is.

Congratulations go to Seth Rogen for the first erection joke of the night! Stay classy, Seth. On the other hand, calling out the silliness of My Week with Marilyn being in the Comedy category was spot on.

It wasn't nearly as biting as last year but still had a few zingers, about NBC, Jodie Foster's Beaver and the rules the HFPA wanted Ricky to adhere to.

Oh my gosh, what is Ricky Gervais going to do? Which celebrities are going to get drunk? Which awful actors will the Hollywood Foreign Press Association award tonight? Yes, it's Golden Globes nights. Please join us in witnessing all these atrocities and making mean jokes about them.

We have a whole bunch of fun stuff planned for the Golden Globes, but there's one thing you won't see on the site, so we wanted to make you aware of it now. We're giving control of Gawker's Twitter account to author, cabaret star, and all-around funny person Justin Vivian Bond during the broadcast.

North Dakota probably regrets hiring a sex-starved 15-year-old boy as the artistic director for their new tourism campaign. They've pulled this ad because it looks like the first paragraph of a rejected Midwestern-themed Penthouse letter. (Click to enlarge)

Touché to Michael, a.ka. commenter MichaelX, for his quick response to our Republican Primary Bounty List. He sent us several photos of Republican candidates getting makeup applied, and will be duly rewarded with a check for $22.75. But now that this loophole has been exploited once, we'll clarify the rules for all future submissions: We want your original photos of candidates in the compromising, humiliating positions listed, not professional photos that you might find on a simple Google Image search.