A commissioner in Louisiana is pushing a public ordinance that would ban people from wearing anything "sold in the sleepwear section of department stores" in public. Gawker writers Brian Moylan and Maureen O'Connor debate the law.

President Obama will visit Walt Disney World tomorrow. The plan is to "unveil a strategy that will significantly help boost tourism and travel," according to the White House, which informs us that this is "an important sector in the U.S. economy." All well and good, but let's skip to the important part: What delicious Republican wisecracks that we'll hear ten million times over the next year will emerge from this?

New York Times opinion-haver David Brooks is not a "journalist," per se; he's more of an "amiable prick." Still, he is employed by a newspaper, and he writes about news. One would think he might be, at least, in favor of, you know, journalism, or at least the spreading of facts, in the public interest. Not so!

It has been three whole days since Brian Williams and the rest of the Internet doused the Lana Del Rey mop in verbal gasoline and lit a match in response to her appearance on SNL. So we checked in on Lansy and her team. And this was the response that came from her publicist, Marilyn:

Have you seen Neil Patrick Harris and his "husband" David Burtka on the cover of the "Love Issue" of Out magazine? It is so fucking adorable that I can't even describe it. But now these two have a heavy burden: they can never break up.

Congressional Republicans forced the Obama administration to expedite its decision on constructing the Keystone XL pipeline late last year, and today they're getting their answer: No Keystone XL pipeline. Our president has abandoned the oppressed Canadian tar sands, who only ever wanted a one-way ticket to Texas and the chance for a freer, more refined life.

Yesterday we heard about Young Lee, the co-founder of frozen gruel with Fruity Pebbles on top yogurt chain Pinkberry, who allegedly beat the crap out of a homeless man with a tire iron after the homeless man showed him his "sexually explicit" tattoo. Now we finally know what the tattoo is.

Out of nowhere, the Miami Herald has dusted off and expanded upon one of Washington's oldest and juiciest political rumors: The one about a rising young beltway journalist and his gay affair with a powerful GOP congressman, and how the journalist shot himself in the head when his lover's political rival threatened to out them. According to the Herald, that rival may have been Newt Gingrich.

Ooh boy. Here's a quote that speaks volumes, from Reuters' article about Iran's morality police "cracking down" on the sale of Barbie dolls, which is forbidden. Stores have been instructed to sell Iran's specially-designed, ultra-demure Sara and Dara dolls instead, to the disgust of the superficial girl tykes of Tehran:

Well well well, obesity rates in America are finally "stabilizing," at 112%. Kidding, it's not even 40%. We've managed to avoid a clinically obese majority. This is considered progress. No thanks to you, Paula Deen.

The best part of any internet news story is when the social media power user and sometime Gawker contributor Katie Notopoulos starts searching for it on Twitter. Like the SOPA-driven Wikipedia blackout, which sure freaked out high school kids—and their teachers.

Americans love cheez. Cheez has made Kraft the most powerful cheez corporation on earth. Now, the company is making a $50 million advertising gamble that it can get Americans to try something new: cheese.

This actor got in a bar fight, but no one knows it was with a gay pimp. This quarterback is cheating on his wife, and this hunky star doesn't like to have sex. At least it keeps him from being beaten up by gay pimps. They really know a thing or two about fists.

Oh my god, call your Aunt Claire, she's going to be so excited to hear that Johnny Depp and his elusive long-time heterosexual life partner, Vanessa Paradis, have split (probably). This is her chance to get with her dream actor! It's gonna happen.

Celebrity self-justification platform The Huffington Post is launching a spinoff in France called "Le Huffington Post," French for "Another Fucking Huffington Post." Welcome to Arianna's global cocktail party, French people. You only think you're invited.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert addresses allegations of coordinating with his Super PAC brought forth by Buzzfeed's Ben Smith. Smith found some inconsistencies in the timing of yesterday's Report and the Super PAC's most recent ad, which presented eerily similar ideas. But those inconsistencies were easily explained away with something Smith didn't account for: Colbert and Jon Stewart have ESP. Which is really useful, until one of them burns themselves on the stove.

By now we all know that Jon Stewart has taken over Stephen Colbert's Super PAC and has started running some attack ads. But what should he do next? And how can he figure that out without coordinating with Colbert? On tonight's Daily Show, Stewart and Colbert made a clever mockery of the Super PAC rules and didn't coordinate the entire time.

Another GOP debate was held last night, providing ample opportunity for disconnected rich old white men to say ignorant, mildly racist things. Stem-cell experiment/bad suit wearing mannequin Rick Perry is widely acknowledged to have made the gaffe of the night for the answer he provided on an oddball question regarding Turkish relations.

After a nearly unanimous 9-1 vote, the Los Angeles City Council passed a ruling necessitating the use of condoms in all porn shoots taking place in L.A. The San Fernando Valley, the multi-billion dollar epicenter of the porn industry, falls under the jurisdiction of the ruling.

Poor Matthew Wall. A tragic motorcycle crash shortly after he got married left him with extensive nerve damage, a shattered pubic ramus bone, and some unfortunate damage to his penis. Reconstructive surgery could only help so much, and the 27-year-old Navy man lost a total of 1.5 inches from his manhood.