Will this plague of Mel Gibson phone rants never end? In the latest, Gibson tells his "glum cunt" ex-girlfriend that she is free to date others: "You can get it on with anybody else and your son can watch it."

Canadian air force Captain Brian Bews is a lucky man. While training for an air show, he was beginning a maneuver called a High Alpha pass when sparks shot from the engine. He bailed out seconds before the plane exploded.

Behold the Taiwanese CGI video that explores Sarah Palin's potential 2012 run at president. Here you will watch Palin pass "First Dude" Todd a joint, dance exotically for campaign funds, come up with "refudiate," and parachute into a Teabagger rally.

Between the crazies in costumes, celebrities hawking sci-fi projects, and journalists covering both, someone will surely capture every awkward interaction at San Diego's Comic-Con, which kicked off yesterday.

Pot was recently spotted in Union Square Park. Now the sidewalks are being overrun with sweet, sticky green marijuana plants. Here's a bushy plant NYC the Blog discovered at 1st Street and 2nd Avenue:

31-year-old Christopher Stone runs two of the worst websites on the Internet: the teen gossip site StickyDrama and its sister amateur porn site, Sticky-n00dz. One day he recorded a sexual assault live and blogged about it, but didn't report it.

The Obamas will spend an August weekend vacationing on the Gulf Coast. Jesus, don't they know how oily it is there? Anyway, this comes before their real vacation to Martha's Vineyard, nicely defusing the inevitable "snobby vacation" criticism. [Image: AP]

A dead jellyfish unleashed widespread panic when its body deteriorated and morphed into a cloud of disembodied stingers and descended upon a popular swimming beach in New Hampshire, stinging 150 and hospitalizing five. Disgusting local news report ahead!

About half of the people in a recent survey said the schmaltzy happy endings of chick flicks have ruined their idea of a perfect relationship. Remember this when you have to weasel out of seeing a shitty Katherine Heigl movie.

Is your child hungry? Like, really hungry? The most caloric kids meal in America is reportedly Friendly's Mac & Cheese Quesadilla. With the drink and dessert that come with it, the meal has 2,300 calories.

Finally, a way to dignify the experience of sitting around farting in your pants: Meet Subtle Butt, the odor-eating butt patch. "I use them on airplanes, after a chili meal, and even on my dog," says its evangelistic creator.

An Air France flight attendant has confessed to 27 counts of theft after she took cash and jewelry off of passengers while they slept in first and business class. And authorities think that she's responsible for even more mile-high robberies.

L.A. Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore says Lindsay Lohan has been very cooperative since surrendering herself this morning and will serve only "about 14 days" of her 90-day sentence. That info should help in our LiLo jailbird betting pool.

Hoping to emulate her favorite Sex and the City character Samantha Jones, Brit Christina Saunders just finished a decade-long quest to sleep with 1,000 men. We have nothing against being slutty, just don't blame it on TV! [NoTW, via]

When airport authorities in Mexico City noticed a strange bulge in Roberto Cabrera's shirt they decided to investigate. They found he had 18 rare monkeys in his pockets, and he wasn't happy to see them.

Lohan's day of surrender is nigh, and she has no lawyer and is tweeting sad little "eeeks." Oksana Grigorieva walked away from $15 million. Enrique Iglesias photographs his junks. Tuesday gossip is full of foreboding.

Jacqueline and Dave Siegel embarked on their $100 million Orlando mansion—named "Versailles"—before the credit crisis hit. Now they're trying to sell it. At 90,000 square feet, it is the largest privately owned home in America.

Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan's new movie Inception is out today! Leonardo DiCaprio is in it. Ebert loved it. Rex Reed hated it. We saw it too. (SPOILER: It is totally nuts.) And we have some thoughts! Good ones, promise!

Even as she's about to head into jail, someone's still paying Lindsay Lohan to shill for their products. Now she's warning her fans not to Google her or their computers could fall victim to viruses. Wait, Lindsay still has fans?

It's summer. Aside from oil spills, ranting celebrities, and imprisoned starlets, there's not much going on. Divert yourself with this game wherein we ask you to match the reality star to their fake tan. What else you got to do?