A new study indicates that gay teens receive harsher punishments than straight teens for the same crimes—despite engaging in less violent behavior overall. But at least they can finally get married and join the military! Oh. Wait.

Barack Obama just announced his final deal with Republican leaders on extending the Bush tax cuts, unemployment benefits, and other issues, after secret negotiations. Here are the details. In short: There won't be much government revenue next year.

Spike TV's annual Video Game Awards uses a strangely familiar inverted rainbow triangle for the "V" in VGA, notes TMZ. Coincidentally, noted inverted triangle Neil Patrick Harris is this year's host.

Elizabeth Edwards, estranged wife of Democratic pariah and recent father John Edwards, has been informed that her breast cancer has spread to the liver, and doctors "recommend against additional treatment." She does not appear to be challenging that recommendation.

First there was Steven Slater, the flight attendant who used an inflatable slide for his job walk-off. Now, the Steven Slater of dogs: a 12-pound Manchester terrier named Mandy who escaped her cage mid-air and went on a biting rampage.

Google launched its e-bookstore today. The 300,000 titles — about half as many as available for the Amazon Kindle, but probably way more than Apple's iBookstore — will work on iPads, iPhones, Android phones and Google's web-based reader.

The Oregonian formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith Jr. finally got permission to legally change his name to Captain Awesome. It was inspired by a character on NBC's Chuck, which furthers the trend of Americans taking stupid names from TV.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates told Navy sailors serving in the Arabian Sea today that despite the push from him and other Pentagon leaders, the military's ban on gays serving openly is likely to continue into the next year.

All-too-sober wine marketing mavens have their eyes on the wine drinkers of the future: The "Millennials," a.k.a. you, probably. Don't be intimidated, young Four Loko-swillers. The wine industry is going to make this whole thing very easy for you.

Nineteen hours and counting, and the microblogging service Tumblr is still down. Will the hive of blogger one upsmanship return before Brooklyn is reduced to flames and online writers start turning on their cats?

Hey, military people leaking sexy secret documents: Your counterparty could be an undercover federal agent who'll arrest you! So it went with petty officer Bryan Minkyu Martin, who's now in custody at Fort Bragg after a transaction gone awry.

The lawyer for an accused Florida murderer convinced the state to pay $125/day for a makeup artist to cover his client's Nazi tattoos, lest the jury unfairly judge him for the wrong terrible choice from his past. [NYT, via naugahydeinplainsight]

The Six Days Seven Nights actor is selling his 5,664 sq.ft. W. 17th Street pad, complete with four bedrooms, a home gym, and views to kill, for a mind-boggling $16M. The priceless religious artifacts cost extra, though.

Our investigative series on Nicole Kidman's struggle to move her face continues. Last time, feeling had returned to Nicole's chin. But at SoHo's Apple Store this weekend, Our Lady of the Frozen Features struggled mightily. Let us analyze the results.

For the fourth year running, Mayor Michael Bloomberg stopped by the gay holiday party formerly known as "Toys for Tots" to show how much he loves his queer constituents. This year he came with gay-themed toys and bad gay-themed jokes.

Here's a trailer for Jodie Foster's latest directorial work, the long-gestating comedy The Beaver, starring Mel Gibson as an unhinged man who finds solace in a hand puppet. So is this unfortunate timing, or somehow a brilliant accident?

Trick question: What's poorer than an American city? Answer: the American state in which that city is located! Haha. But seriously, are you interested in paying to plaster your name on any public property, anywhere? You totally can.

This weekend, we all eradicated child abuse by changing our Facebook profile pictures to cartoon characters. Or did we? According to the stupidest rumor I have ever heard, pedophiles are behind the useless campaign, for some idiotic made-up reason.

A 25-year-old parliamentary aide was arrested by British authorities on Thursday, and currently faces deportation. For spying! Yes, only a few months after it was cool to have a sexy Russian sleeper agent, the U.K. finally gets their own.

Mark Zuckerberg will be unveiling a redesigned Facebook profile page on 60 minutes tonight. Here's a screencap from the episode's preview so you can get a head start on complaining about it. Hm, the poke button moved a little!