Jared Loughner, who allegedly shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in the head and killed six others in Arizona on Saturday, is obsessed with grammar. Why? Welcome to the weird world of ":David-Wynn: Miller" and the "Mathematical Interface for Language."

You know how in movies and TV shows about prison, inmates use cigarettes as currency? That's apparently not the case in Florida. The preferred jailhouse currency across the Florida penal system is Mrs. Freshley's Grand Honey Buns.

A team of scientists have published the results of a research project today which ties good music and feelings of euphoria together. For instance, did you know that listening to Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings" will get you so high?

Time was, Weekly World News reported on UFO sightings and all manner of human-animal hybrids. But the new supermarket tabloid hotness is a fake rumor about Facebook. Did you know Facebook is shutting down on March 15th?

Gabrielle Giffords, The Arizona congresswoman shot today outside a Tucson Safeway, was featured on Sarah Palin's infamous 'crosshairs' map, which targeted legislators who voted for Obama's health care bill. Remember? The map that was criticized as an incitement to violence?

What we got from this profile of Bravo executive Andy Cohen in the Times today is that he basically is like the kid brother to every celebrity on Earth. He just goes around and makes them feel like normal people!

Royal Caribbean cruise ship "Radiance of the Sea" had to delay its next voyage to Mexico after "a number of guests experienced some gastrointestinal illness." The ship is being scrubbed down in Tampa. It's another bad year for cruise ships.

In a post-fight interview, UFC fighter Jacob Volkmann was asked who he wanted to fight next. "Obama," he said. "Someone's got to knock some sense into that idiot." The next week he was questioned by the Secret Service.

North Korea's heir apparent Kim Jong-un turned twentysomething today but it's a rather quiet affair, with "no special rations or celebrations" for the people. South Korean hackers also posted birthday greetings on the North's official Twitter and YouTube pages.

Courtney Love's highly-entertaining Twitter account, CourtneyLoveUK, has been suspended! And this just days after she was hit with the world's first-ever Twitter defamation lawsuit, stemming from a 2009 tweet-based rant. She'll just have to scream future rants at the help.

Friday means movies are opening! Though dreary January is a bleak time for cinema, there are a few prospects opening today. There's a crazy, mean old witch, plus some movies that don't star Gwyneth Paltrow.

Today we reflected on the upcoming 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan, sparking much debate. So who was Ronald Reagan: shining politics god from the planet Perfectonia or unholy hell geezer from Satantowne? Here are two differing perspectives.

The U.S. Department of Justice is currently trying to build a case against Julian Assange for his role in leaking 250,000 State Department cables. Today, one prominent Wikileaks volunteer claimed the DOJ is subpoenaing her Wikileaks-related Tweets.

Which of these congressional freshmen is your favorite in terms of looks, which as we all know is the only characteristic by which to judge a person? Your chance to weigh in is below.

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has never filtered his words very well. And now that he's 11 days from leaving office, he'll say anything. He's unhinged! He'll even yell through clenched teeth at 60 Minutes' "idiot" and "simpleton," Lesley Stahl!

In need of something to brighten up your dark apartment? Well, we're giving away two custom-made lamps from Anzfer Farms and all you have to do to win one is enter a caption contest!

How much would you pay for the picture Courtney Love tweeted of her ladyparts? Or Katy Perry sans makeup? Soon, magazines and blogs will probably pay thousands of dollars. A paparazzi photo agency is taking over celebrities' Twitter pictures.

A lady named Melissa was wearing her pet boa constrictor, Penelope, around her neck like a scarf on the Boston metro's Red Line yesterday, when suddenly, "I couldn't find her anywhere." Then she posted a "lost pet" notice on Craigslist.

A German dominatrix ordered her slave to walk around in a PVC suit and a gas mask. Bad move in these terror-obsessed times. Passersby thought he was arming himself against an imminent bioterrorist attack and called the cops.

Paul Mason, formerly the world's fattest man, says he is suing the British National Health Service because he was sent to a dietitian and not an eating disorder specialist. Conservatives will trot him out to fight ObamaCare any day now.