Two Florida teens, Taylor Wynn and McKenzie Barker, were arrested for allegedly setting up a fake Facebook profile for a classmate and posting fake nude pictures of her. They've been charged with felony counts of "aggravated stalking of a minor."

Martha Stewart looooves her dogs. But do they secretly resent her? When she bent down to whisper goodbye to her bulldog Francesca, the dog jumped up and split her lip, sending Martha to the hospital. There, she criticized the wallpaper.

Philadelphia magazine fired editor Larry Platt for giving a framed photo of his testicle to a female employee. Now he's been named editor of the Philadelphia Daily News—but staff emails about his testicle are still circulating. Here's one!

Congressional security sent a memo to all House members today outlining a three-step response guide for encounters with gunmen: "run, hide, and if all else fails, attack," as Politico summarizes. Why does the fun response have to be last?

This oft-overlooked demographic may just finally get the TV show they deserve. Also today: a new Charlie's Angels is bad for America, more news about Law & Order: Los Angeles shake-up, and superhero sneak peeks!

Baltimore is being plagued by a man dressing as a woman impersonating a cop and stopping cars on the street. Impersonating a police officer is a serious (but occasionally hysterical) crime. Are we sure it's not the ghost of Divine?

As a young model, America's foremost wet dream Christina Hendricks posed for a trippy Playboy editorial, in which she donned a blonde wig and silver lamé bikini to romp with a greased-up Speedo model and a crazy clown.

Democratic Sen. Mark Udall wants members of the two parties to sit together at the State of the Union, as a sign of Unity. That sounds harmless enough! Meaning it's probably too naive.

Amy Chua, author of the Wall Street Journal's much-maligned "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," did a Q&A about her heinous child-rearing techniques. She swears she isn't that monstrous. Watch the "tiger mother" do her best impression of a harmless kitten.

Police were called to Mullets Sports Bar outside of Chicago after a man pulled a framed photo of Saved by the Bell character A.C. Slater from the wall and smashed it on the ground. What was his rationale?

Unsurprisingly, as she is the world's most perfect person, Gwyneth Paltrow really gets how hard it is to be a working parent. Luckily she's decided to document a typical mothering day in her newsletter Goop, for our benefit.

Where was Speaker John Boehner last night? He wasn't at the president's memorial service in Tucson. And breathless reports are claiming he wanted to hobnob at an RNC cocktail party instead. That monster! But maybe there's more to it.

To celebrate being released from a mental hospital, Gucci Mane got a giant face tattoo of a three-scoop ice cream cone with lightning bolts shooting out of it and the word "Brrr." But why?

The seven seas have been the setting for many dramatic tales in film and literature. But when the cooking monkeys from Top Chef go fishing, it's kind of boring. How did they mess this up?

Here's a spectacular and moody time-lapse video of New York by Josh Owens. Whether it' his technique or the music by Dredg, it makes us feel lonely and melancholy. It's still pretty damn awesome though.

American Media Inc., publisher of the National Enquirer and Star, is freshly emerged from bankruptcy, and already cutting costs with layoffs and mandatory unpaid furloughs. Now, we hear AMI's beleaguered employees are on the verge of total revolt.

Some group of shrill ninnies called the Illinois Family Institute is angry at Prairie Ridge high school teacher Jacqulyn Levin because she used a little mnemonic song called "the Vagina Dance" to help her sophomore students remember their anatomy lesson.

The government doesn't want Emerson Begolly, the 21-year-old former Penn State student who allegedly bit two FBI agents in the parking lot of a Burger King when they tried to question him about apparent pro-jihad messages he posted online, released.

After Chris Brown called Raz B a "butplugged" "homothug," Raz's brother Ricky Romance threatened Chris with murder. Now Ricky's burying the hatchet, and his Jabberwock-like apology—featuring words like "fallaciloquences," "eclaircise," and "humgruffin"—is a work of art.

A new face from the Jared Loughner universe has emerged. Kelsey Hawkes was Loughner's girlfriend six years ago. How was Jared then, Kelsey? Great! His parents? Great! Any violent tendencies? None. Jared Loughner was a real Casanova. Video inside.