Like many people, we never got invited to one of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's infamous Bunga-Bunga orgies. But now, thanks to photos from laptops and cellphones, seized by Italian prosecutors, we can live vicariously!

With last Friday's spaghetti fight followed by Monday's "Bloody Loco" calm-vs.-crazy battle, the internet has been waiting breathlessly to discover whether the New York City subway system could generate yet another bizarre fight video this week.

For whatever reason, Sen. Rand Paul can't find a decent candidate to back among the current crop of GOP presidential candidates. Perhaps because they are losers? So now he may just have to run for president himself, unless his daddy is running.

Fox News put its foot in its mouth yesterday by describing CNN's Nic Robertson and other reporters who attended a government-sponsored trip to view bomb damage as "human shields," because a Fox News security guard went along, too. Wait, what?

Sex dissatisfaction! Child car seats! Deadly headaches! Chronic fatigue! Radiation safety! Male facelifts! Fitness myths! Poison prevention! Trauma survival! And a hot new lupus update! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with head-splitting authority!

Paris Hilton's racism is well documented. In his forthcoming book Everyone Loves You When You're Dead, professional poon-chaser Neil Strauss adds another instance of Hilton horror: When she was 18, Paris told Strauss she had a "one percent" rule against dating black men. "I can't stand black guys. I would never touch one. It's gross."

Next up on the House Republicans' Jobs Agenda, following a measure to defund ObamaCare, a smattering of abortion bills, and an unresolved budget dispute over ghost issues is this wonder from Virginia Rep. Randy Forbes: A bill to reaffirm "In God We Trust" as America's official motto, and to ensure that it's plastered over government buildings everywhere.

Asked on live television about his history of violence, Chris Brown reportedly flew into a violent rage at Good Morning America today. Everyone agrees Chris was foolish not to expect that line of questioning—not least of all because GMA pre-approved it with Brown's handlers, according to TMZ and The View.

John Travolta was rumored to fly Oprah and all her guests to Australia aboard a Qantas jet, but the airline's actual pilots are upset that the actor now appears in an in-flight safety video wearing a Qantas uniform.

Your favorite television show is delayed, I'm afraid. Indefinitely. Also today: Total Recall casting continues, as does TV pilot casting. Plus, The Office plans big fireworks for its finale.

A tipster sent us this picture he took on Sunday night of a big, furry rat curled up in the window of the Skechers store in Manhattan's Union Square. (Click here to view the full-size photo.) Is that seriously nasty, or what? Who on earth would wear such hideous shoes?

Headline News anchor Nancy Grace invited Accuweather meteorologist Bernie Rayno on her program last night to talk about the (very minimal) health threat that Japanese radiation poses to Californians.

New York's most obnoxious homosexuals, Dustin and Jayden, sure have been busy since last week, and boy do they have a lot of current events to discuss. Here's what we overheard them talking about this afternoon.

Hours after Chris Brown smashed a dressing room window at Good Morning America, a tipster photographed a man working on the window. But was he repairing it, or preserving it as evidence?

One of the House Republicans' budget cuts that got the most attention while they were crafting their spending bill for the next six months was the elimination of all federal funding to Planned Parenthood. The organization, which provides women's health and family planning services up to and including scary abortions, was obviously a popular target for the Republicans to satisfy their base with. Go to any conservative protest, over health care reform, taxes, Mexicans, whatever, and the anti-abortion folks are always the last ones there, screaming and hollering deep into the night.

Funny thing, about America: we think things should be pretty equal, money-wise. We're not so into huge gaps between rich and poor. But when we learn massive inequality exists, what do we do? Nothing! We're also selfish, in America.

The parents of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University student who committed suicide after his roommate and another student broadcast his sexual encounter with another man on the internet, don't want the students involved to be given too "harsh" a punishment.

When Capt. Owen Honor became the executive officer of the USS Enterprise, his chief mission was to gain control of the ship's nifty audio-visual materials and produce some hilarious sexist and homophobic videos. The Navy recently released them all.

Yelp, the unqualified-schmoes-reviewing-restaurants site, has added "hipster" as an official category when describing an establishment's ambiance. It joins established selections such as romantic, trendy, intimate, casual, classy, and touristy.

Ophadell Williams was the driver of the Chinatown bus that crashed on its way back to New York from Mohegan Sun Casino last weekend, killing 15 people. Any one of us could be Ophadell Williams.