Good news for All The Single [Homeless] Ladies: the Manhattan state Supreme Court ruled today that, for the time being, unmarried homeless people do not have to prove they have no other housing options before entering a shelter.

Adolf Hitler may have fathered a son by a French teenager while serving as a soldier in World War I, according to a recent issue of France's Le Point magazine.

Cross-stitched slang phrase Zooey Deschanel told the crowd at the Writers Guild Awards, "male writers, you are so hot with your minds and plaid shirts. Hit on me."

Can't get enough of the mild musings of inadvertent New York Times columnist Frank Bruni? It's your lucky day—he's started a blog.

Are school vending machines causing obesity amongst America's youth? Haha, haha, yeah right. Eating one dozen Cadbury "Creme" eggs in the closet at midnight while typing furiously on Twitter is causing obesity amongst America's youth. Still, every little calorie saved helps, when it comes to our corn-syrup-addicted children. The government is setting new guidelines for what can be in school vending machines. What (vending machine) food should be put on (the kids in) our families (in school)?

When Comcast acquired NBC Universal, part of its deal with the FCC was that it would "launch 10 new independently owned cable channels, with most backed by African Americans and Latinos, by 2018." Well. The first two Black People Channels have been announced. Black people, prepare for a fiesta of cable mediocrity!

Jon Stewart opened tonight's Daily Show by taking a look at the ridiculous contraception hearings that Darrell Issa convened last week. The quoting from Stalin, the "rape of the soul," it's all perfect grist for Jon's mill. Not to mention the fact that no women were on hand.

Stephen Colbert used the opening of tonight's Colbert Report to explain the sudden two day absence of his show last week. It seems clear now that all the crazy rumors were, in fact, crazy, and that Stephen went home to attend to his 91 year old mother. And it also seems she's ok, which is great news for all the members of Colbert Nation.

The New York Times obituary celebrating 74-year-old John Fairfax's life reads like a crazed Hemingway diary entry. In addition to his passion for exploration and adventure, it turns out that "Lone Wolf" Fairfax also hated children, loved money, and had a penchant for whorehouses.

Yesterday, Republican frontrunner Rick Santorum said the president subscribes to a "phony theology." His spokeswoman Alice Stewart took to MSNBC today to clarify: Santorum was referring to Obama's "radical Islamic policies." She herself later called MSNBC to clarify her clarification: she mean to say "radical environmental policies." It's a common mistake — haven't we all mistakenly called it the Islamic Protection Agency?

In a survey of 30,000 workers in all fields, 42.3% of fast food workers said "My job may make the world a worse place." The next most self-loathing industry was bartenders, of which only 5.8% said their jobs were evil.

What kind of scroll is your favorite? is a question that I get asked constantly. And I always answer: Japanese fart scrolls. My favorite scrolls are Japanese fart scrolls.

The fine folks at My Daguerrotype Boyfriend are celebrating President's Day the only appropriate way: by posting pictures of our hottest commanders-in-chief. Clockwise, from top left: Teddy Roosevelt (during his time rowing crew at Harvard); Teddy again, as a Harvard freshman; William McKinley as a Union soldier in the Civil War; Rutherford B. Hayes; Abraham Lincoln's son Robert Todd; and a 16-year-old James Garfield. Feel free to post your own presidential favorites in the comments.

Huh, hmm, strange, inexplicable: although lots of people purchase food at McDonald's, it turns out that they don't think the food at McDonald's is very good. Buh, wha, guh, WTF? Explain, Ad Age:

Mr. Glen Horlacher, 53, was arrested on Saturday after going on a "cursing tirade" outside Disney Land's Tower of Terror and then punching and kicking park employees and visitors. Happiest Place on Earth™? More like Punching-and-Cursingest Place on Earth™. (The action, such as it is, doesn't really start till around a minute into the clip.) Disney employees retaliated by turning Horlacher's face into the Pepper-Sprayiest Face on Earth™. [KABC]

Former New York Times editor Bill Keller has spent the past year pursuing a weird personal crusade against Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. He continues, weirdly, and to the detriment of his own reputation. Likewise, we shall continue our crusade against Bill Keller, until all of the world's readers have abandoned both of us, and we are merely talking to one another, like the cranks that we all are.

Meet Pierre Casiraghi, 24-year-old Monegasque prince and grandson of Grace Kelly, pictured here with his sister Princess Charlotte. But be aware: he might look a little bit different after a "vicious" nightclub brawl this weekend — involving Paris Hilton's ex Stavros Niarchos and the former owner of Hawaiian Tropic — that landed him in the hospital.

The FDA is going to investigate whether the "Aeroshot" canisters of inhalable caffeine are actually safe. When you hear about widely available and totally unregulated drugs like this that are available with absolutely no medical supervision whatsoever to any kid who wanders into a convenience store, it makes you ask: is that stuff any good?

Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.

Last night's Saturday Night Live had some pretty funny moments with the standout being this sketch where the Obamas got the Cosby Show treatment. Complete with a hilarious Cosby-like credit sequence and some typical sitcom shenanigans.