When the FCC approved its net neutrality rules earlier this year, it pissed off just about everyone. The House of Representatives were definitely not thrilled: A bill was passed today that would strike down the FCC's net neutrality rules.

Cobalt Coal Corp., a West Virginia mining company, has its own super-cool reality TV show on Spike TV about how dangerous its mines are, just like those Deadliest Catch guys. Unfortunately, the Federal Mine Safety and Health Administration was watching, and fined Cobalt for safety violations that it saw happening, on TV. Now if only they could do a reality show about Goldman Sachs. [AP, photo via Spike]

A cop in Mesquite, Texas, decided to pepper spray a baby squirrel at a middle school while horrified children and teachers looked on. He keeps on going even though they plead with him to stop. Now that the cop has been caught on film, let's hope PETA or some other animal rights group comes calling. Just when you thought kids having cell phones in schools was a bad idea! [via NYM]

Well, it's Friday. Which means you've probably heard Rebecca Black's "Friday" drifting from someone's computer speakers or smartphone about 13 times today. People are still listening the hell out of "Friday," which has already been viewed almost 90 million times.

Here's Maryland Democratic Rep. Donna Edwards quoting the White Stripes song "Effect and Cause" at length on the House floor. The lyrical content urges Republicans to prevent a painful government shutdown for which they would take the blame. We don't know! She's reading way too fast for a Friday afternoon. "La la la la Republicans are mean la la la splat" approximates it close enough.

The NYPD is prepared for Charlie Sheen this weekend. "We have a big police force, we're ready for him," New York Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly declared earlier today when asked about the actor who's in New York for two live shows at Radio City Music Hall this weekend. But like preventing terrorism or ending the spread of syphilis, we're going to need everyone's help to ensure the situation is contained. Yes, that's right, you're expected to do your part. The police can't handle all of the dangers inherent in Charlie Sheen's visit to the Big Apple. Here are some tips on what you can do to help.

Five major US airlines — AirTran, Delta, US Air, Virgin America, and JetBlue — have all recently raised (or will soon raise) their domestic round-trip airfare by $10. They say the hike was implemented as a way of countering rising jet fuel costs, but clearly it's just another example of the airlines taking us for a ride. (Figuratively. I understand that they already do literally take us for a ride.) How much more fare-raising will we stand before we resort to the old ways of the locomotive or a weary resignation that we'll just never see California? [AP, image via Shutterstock]

Here's a trailer for brutalist director Lars Von Trier's lastest film, a sci-fi flecked drama about a miserable bride and the end of the world. The film actually bills itself on its website as "A beautiful movie about the end of the world." So there. Plus naked Dunst!

What factors does New Jersey consider before proposing legislation? Is it the economy, the health and wellness of their citizens, or the desire for law and order? No, it's how much Snooki gets paid.

The city of Washington D.C. will be hammered by a prolonged government shutdown. The D.C. government manages its own budget, but because of its unique form of slavery, the money technically needs to be appropriated by the House of Representatives. And since "government shutdown" is just the shorthand term for "no appropriations," the city government of Washington D.C. can only offer essential services during a shutdown. In other words, no trash pick up! So some residents are just planning to dump their waste outside Speaker John Boehner's "house" instead, which is kind of mean.

Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren is married to a guy who just happens to be good friends with Sarah Palin. Now she's complaining on her blog that people are inviting her to stuff just to hang out with her famous friend.

Oh good grief. The worms of the Big Apple came back for a fourth season last night, and boy were they awful! Some new sense of desperation seems to have descended upon the city's social non-elite, and it's not pretty.

Notorious Scottsdale porn scribe Rep. Ben Quayle is already making a name for himself during his freshman House term. Unfortunately, most of that is due to his terrible standup comedy. But the boy wonder now has an opportunity to redeem himself and restore the Quayle family name to its fading 1980s glory. He's been tasked with ensuring America's earthquake preparedness, from his chair in a House subcommittee.

Ubiquitous ingenue Amanda Seyfried had a bit of trouble while leaving the London premiere of Little Red Riding Hood last night. No, her eyes weren't bleeding from watching the horrible movie. She was given a parking ticket and refused to take it.

Twelve hours until the government shuts down, people! Actually eleven hours and some minutes! Progress was made last evening, however. The only inflexible issue that hasn't been negotiated out, according to everyone, is the few hundred million dollars in federal subsidies for Planned Parenthood.

Scientists have discovered the first-known case of someone catching an STD from a mosquito bite. And he gave it to his wife! Now is the time to invest in some Off! stock.

Because putting his name on Trump Tea, Trump Steaks, Trump Ties, Trump Water, Trump Vodka, Trump Towers, and possibly Trump/Hasselbeck 2012 election posters wasn't enough, Donald Trump just acquired a Virginia vineyard so he can make Trump Wine.

On last night's brutes magutes elimination episode, America's strangest Republican primary yet saw the too-soon departure of one of the season's strongest voices. What happened? And how can we continue to live in a world where such terrible things occur? Let's figure it out.

The world of online poker is strange, shady and more than a little depressing. So what better place to start our national online poker experiment than Washington D.C? Digital Hold'em is coming to D.C.

January Jones bitches about bitches. Kate Gosselin's marriage counselor is suing her. Paz de la Huerta bounces back from beating up a reality star. JWoww wants to have babies. TGIFriday gossip.