Alarmed at declining population statistics, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced a plan to boost the Russian birth rate. Sorry, what's that? No, no, he's not—well, certainly not personally, though we see why you might make that mistake. No, his plan is to, uhm, pump some $53 billion into programs designed to "[raise] the birth rate and [extend] life expectancy," such as providing free photos of a shirtless Putin astride a horse to any household containing a fertile young woman. Putin's announcement came during an address widely seen as positioning the former president for next year's elections, in which he may run for his old office; the Russian leader gave the speech while wrestling two bears. [BBC]

Social conservative and evangelical David Barton is against net neutrality because he says it goes against the principles of Ben Franklin, the Pilgrims, and the Bible.

Gerard Smith, bassist for rock band TV On The Radio, died of lung cancer on Wednesday. He was 35. Smith had been diagnosed with cancer earlier this year and opted to stay home during their current tour to receive treatment.

Today's the day that McDonald's hires 50,000 lucky Americans. In depressing-ass Cleveland, this employment opportunity was so irresistible that it caused a long line. And then a fight. And then a bunch of people being run over, by a car, driven by someone angry that they hadn't yet gotten that job, at McDonald's. All of this was caught on video, of course. And uploaded to WorldstarHipHop.com. Naturally.

We were worried about her there for a moment, but it looks like Velma Kelly is going to be A-OK, hoofing it once more in a big showy musical. Also today: bad news for Kathleen Turner, good news for some random child, and the best news for Gabourey Sidibe.

In February, Zynga CEO and founder Mark Pincus filed for a restraining order against Vera Svenchina, an amateur filmmaker and former stripper from Russia.

This video, "Diary," was posted by photojournalist and documentarian Tim Hetherington three months ago. His description reads: "'Diary' is a highly personal and experimental film that expresses the subjective experience of my work, and was made as an attempt to locate myself after ten years of reporting. It's a kaleidoscope of images that link our western reality to the seemingly distant worlds we see in the media."

You know how in the last few years it seems like every old person has tumbled onto the internet and, somehow, managed to learn how to forward emails of their pets to you? That basically has happened to Republicans, too. Get ready for the "social network primary."

The timing of a lawsuit against "Because I Got High" singer Afroman is pure coincidence, say lawyers for a concert venue in Columbus, Ohio. The plaintiff claims that Afroman was going to perform in Ohio on April 9, but then he forgot.

Gay activist and former Republican operative Fred Karger, who's running for president just so he can get into a Republican debate and heckle Mitt Romney about gay issues, has already half-accomplished his praiseworthy goal. The South Carolina GOP has invited Karger to its May 5 debate, presented by Fox News. But don't double-butter your popcorn just yet! Karger first has to meet a tough additional requirement.

In 2009, the American Mall was dying. In 2010, the American Mall was still dying. In 2011: Hey, how'd you like to buy an American Mall?

Facebook is considering censoring content in some countries because it is "uncomfortable" offering excessive amounts of freedom to some people. The next time you start sympathize with a beaten or jailed protester, try imagining how that violence makes Facebook feel.

Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio likes to treat the accused lawbreakers under his care like little Army men that he can march around, dress up, and melt with a magnifying glass. Now he's started a "Mug Shot of the Day" contest on his web site to help people mock them.

Apparently Tyra Banks and Vogue editor Andre Leon Talley have a web show called "Fa-Fa-Fa Fashion," in which they feint and shriek and perform trippy skits about Tyra pissing herself. (A reenactment of this?)

In your awful Wednesday media column: a war journalist is killed, another social media news thing exists, a new culture editor at the NYO, Mets writing is unbearable, and a blog anniversary.

A CNN poll yesterday showed that 51% percent of Americans believe same-sex marriage "should be recognized by the law as valid," while 47% percent don't. The New York Times' Nate Silver notes that this is the fourth "credible" poll showing majority support for legalized same-sex marriage in the past eight months. Silver also created this chart (the kissing action to its right is our lil' touch, of course) using a regression to show how quickly America reached this majority-support position. Back in, say, 2000, the median citizen would've thought, "Eh, I don't know about those gays gettin' married... too weird." Nowadays that same citizen is like, "Sure why not." This is a remarkable shift in human psychology.

In honor of this whole stupid 4/20 thing, CNN has commissioned a poll on attitudes toward pot legalization (that's right, CNN is now programming around fake holidays dreamed up by stoned teenagers). And wealthy white people are the strongest supporters of legalized marijuana.

Here we have another video of a Democratic operative at a Tea Party rally — this time in South Carolina, where Gov. Nikki Haley and Rep. Michele Bachmann were speaking — trying to get people to say funny and/or racist stuff. But this is one of the first where we're seeing actual Donald Trump for President supporters, as prophesied by recent polling! The cameraman, South Carolina Democratic consultant Tyler Jones, says that he "interviewed around 25 people total and probably 75 percent of them said they were supporting Donald Trump." [via Dave Weigel]

A grand jury handed down a 15-count indictment today for Dharun Ravi, the former Rutgers student accused of livestreaming 18-year-old roommate Tyler Clementi's gay liaisons on the internet. The event preceded Clementi's suicide.

Last night's episode of Tunebots: A Musical had our kids feeling sad and neglected, unable to raise funds for their big trip to Nationals. Also Will was sad-ish about Holly Holiday. Yes, Ms. Paltrow was back, squeezing out another song.