On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took a break from dreading Mitt Romney's inevitable candidacy to examine some incredible archaeological findings, specifically an ancient Babylonian text which may include the world's oldest 'yo mama' joke. He really had fun with it.

NPR's The Salt blog picked up on a very NPR story about a Seattle public plot turned "food forest," where citizens will be encouraged to make friends with one another while frolicking and foraging for luscious, free fruits.

In a blistering article published on the website of UK magazine The New Statesman, journalist Kapil Komarredi accuses Julian Assange and Wikileaks of playing a role in stunting democracy in Belarus with the help of noted crazy person Israel Shamir.

While debating the Blunt Amendment on the floor of the US Senate, California's Barbara Boxer quoted a bit from an episode of the Daily Show that aired last month. So what if her rendition of the bit was long, rambling and totally didn't do justice to Stewart's material?

The Senate rejected an amendment today that would have vastly expanded so-called conscience objections to the Obama administration's health care law.

Principal Dorothy Bond of Haywood High School was not a good choice to lead the pep rally. During a recent meeting with students, she allegedly pointed to a bunch of gay students and told them they were going to hell. She also made sure that pregnant students were aware that their lives were over.

Listen to that pleasant accent. Note his charming and overall laid back demeanor. Who WOULDN'T want to get trapped in a k-hole with this guy? And you get to do it for science and the benefit of mankind. It wouldn't be the first time previously banned street drugs are thought to have a positive effect on depression.

The Boston Globe has reported that last year members of the Mormon Church posthumously baptized Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter captured and killed in Pakistan in 2002, allegedly by 9/11 plotter Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes has finished production on a four-part miniseries called Titanic, which will premiere on ABC this April.

ABC News points us to an editorial that claims nearly 10% of medical students in the UK, up from 6% in 2006, know someone who has participated in sex work in an effort to pay off the rising cost of medical school.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy was forced to seek refuge in a bar after a crowd grew increasingly hostile, the BBC reports. Carla Bruni's husband had been campaigning in the Basque town of Bayonne when he was met by hundreds of angry protesters who shouted boos and threw eggs at him. Riot police were needed to guide Sarkozy into the local pub.

Walt Disney World has pulled the plug on its latest themepark attraction, at least temporarily, following complaints that it promoted bullying.

The bomb squad has been called in to investigate a suspicious package at Rush Limbaugh's home in Palm Beach, Florida.

The message boards of UrbanBaby.com are home to some of the most self-loathing, wealthy, haughty, and miserable parents in all of America. Or are they? Even to our keen internet eyes, it is sometimes impossible to tell whether an UrbanBaby poster is a rich person, or a troll impersonating a rich person. Can you help?

He was the ultimate expression of our time: political provocation as performance art. You were never quite sure whether he believed the craziness he spouted. But the system — cable news and the internet — rewarded him for the crazy.

Jason Segel, the sitcom star who is just dying to make it big in the movies, luuurrrrvved The Muppets so much that he convinced Disney to bring the franchise back and cowrote their recent movie. But now that he's popular in Hollywood he's too big for the Muppet's planned sequel.

Georgina Bloomberg (pictured, atop steed) is the 29 year-old daughter of billionaire New York mayor-for-life Mike Bloomberg. But she's not just your typical rich kid. Oh no. She's charted her own path and earned a reputation for being "free-spirited," according to Manhattan magazine. Deservedly so!

Last year, Bank of America tried to sneakily, oh so sneakily, instate a $5 fee on debit card users. Outrage ensued, and the idea was scrapped. But you didn't think that BoA's insatiable need for sweet, sweet money was just going to disappear, did you? There are plenty of new, sneakier fees they will hit you with.

Right wing web provacateur Andrew Breitbart is dead. His own sites, Big Journalism and Big Government and Big Hollywood, are all carrying a statement from Breitbart.com president Larry Solov saying that "Andrew passed away unexpectedly from natural causes shortly after midnight this morning in Los Angeles."

A federal judge ruled today that a mandate requiring tobacco companies to place on their products graphic images illustrating the dangers of smoking was in violation of free speech.