On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert addressed Rush Limbaugh's rant about Sandra Fluke and her sexual habits, which he naturally tore to pieces. In doing so, he showed that Limbaugh is the true prostitute.

Earlier today the Guardian published a story about livestreamers from the US who took a trip to Syria to capture the conflict that has many journalists perplexed. From the article:

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart addressed the comments Rush Limbaugh made about Sandra Fluke. Stewart attempts to decode Rush's insane logic and finds it a pretty difficult task.

...In Iceland, that is. Former Prime Minister Geir Haarde is on trial for negligence over the 2008 financial collapse. From the BBC:

A five-year investigation by the Manhattan DA led to the arrest of 44-year-old Anna Gristina in late February, DNAinfo reports. The millionaire madam, as she has been dubbed, was also caught on tape boasting that she had made millions in the prostitution racket.

According to the Daily Mail, in a recent study psychologists found that women really don't like men with beards. To which I say, bullshit.

Now on sale at Sears, I Heart Butt Plugs t-shirts. I don't understand you, Sears, but goddammit if I don't respect you.

Katie the Goat, who gained prominence in 2006 when her tale of the dangers of nuclear power hit the papers, is conducting a farewell tour as she prepares to enter the great farm in the sky.

Queens Councilman Peter F. Vallone, Jr., took time out of his busy schedule of personally hunting down graffiti artists to speak out against Hollywood's war on Christians. What's got the councilman all fired up? The title of a new show on ABC, GCB, short for Good Christian Bitches. Judging by the subway poster, which is the closest I will ever get to watching this show, it's about a pretty white blond lady in her 30's who wears a lot of jewelry. Posted the councilman on his facebook:

Venerable New York Times crossword editor Will Shortz was recently schooled on the meaning of "Illin'," sending shockwaves through the close-knit puzzler community. He's learned his lesson, if Sunday's crossword puzzle is any indication.

From the Facebook page of fearless Gawker overlord Nick Denton, a suggestion for a gay-rights campaign:

In case you've forgotten, let us take this opportunity to remind you: do not go to law school. Law school is worthless. Even more worthless than you think. Law school will not make you happy. The smart kids are not going to law school. You should not go to law school.

A tipster passes along the following missive, sent on Saturday to the residents of Forbes College. We reproduce it here only to help its author find his (her?) belongings.

Have you ever looked in on your beautiful child slumbering and heard him or her "snoring?" Sorry to tell you this, but. Your kid will be all fucked up (psychologically).

Olivia Munn wrote some dirty, dirty stuff on the racy photos that were allegedly hacked off her phone this weekend. Want to read it without endangering your job? We've added all of the text from Munn's sexy photos to safe-for-work stock images so you can read at your leisure.

As this whole "internet" thing has grown more popular over the past, oh, 15 years or so, the newspaper industry has declined. That's because the newspaper industry, at some point in the past, decided to give away its product for free on the internet. They figured that somehow, someday, this would make them money. It did not. Now, we can put a figure on just how badly this bet has failed.

Watch out, American™ Cheez™—there is a new flavor of cheese "in town" that people are eating a lot of! That would be pepper jack—a fiesta of flavor in your mouth area due to the mixing of peppers inside of the cheez. It's not just hungry Americans shoving entire bricks of pepper jack into their drooling maws during their voracious Ambien-fueled sleepwalks—it's on Chik'n™ sandwiches too!

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Agalloch.

This New York Times article yesterday about a Manhattan gym that caters to billionaires and business titans contains this bit of braggadocio from one of the gym's members: