Archie Comics is attempting to ban its co-CEO, Nancy Silberkleit, from its headquarters, and stop her from going to Comic-Con this year, over allegations that she "burst into meetings to rant about male private parts." This is what happens when you introduce gays to Riverdale, folks! Everyone starts talking about dicks.

While getting blotto at some Bayview, Idaho bar the other day, 28-year-old white supremacist Daren C. Abbey allegedly threatened and tried to fight Marlon L. Baker, an African-American and rumored "champion" of the Spokane Boxing Club. Bet he regrets that now.

Will and Kate are exploring Los Angeles. Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are adding another person to their threesome. Octomom gets in a fight with Wilma Flintstone. Saturday gossip is bringing all of its kids on the plane!

James Murdoch, son of Rupert, Lord of Casterly Rock, Warden of the West and overseer of News Corp's properties in Europe and Asia, could face criminal charges over his role in the phone hacking scandal at News Corp tabloid News of the World. In the U.S. and the U.K.!

As revelations emerge at a rate of about one per second in the News of the World hacking scandal, Rupert Murdoch is flying in to London to attempt damage control, according to the Financial Times.

Now that BBQing and fireworking and all that is done for the summer, it's time to get back to the movies. Debuting this weekend we have bad bosses, badass rappers, and bad Kevin James comedy.

According to the New York Times, there is security footage of former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn at his hotel in the early hours of May 14, the day he allegedly sexually assaulted a maid. And he was accompanied by an unidentified woman.

Your (or your parents') favorite guilty pleasure is returning to the airwaves in fancy, updated form. Also today: Big Game of Thrones casting news, TNT has a hit on its hands, and some exciting Hugh Jackman news.

Prominent legal scholars, along with many bloggers with no legal training whatsoever, recently have been floating the possibility that if a deal isn't struck to raise the federal debt ceiling before Treasury's August 2 deadline, then the Obama administration should use a clause in the 14th Amendment to declare the debt ceiling itself unconstitutional and continue to issue debt as usual. An interesting idea! But the Obama administration now appears to have taken this "constitutional option" off the table.

The celebration of of St. Fermin, better known as the running of the bulls, was held today in Pamplona, Spain. One man was gored by a bull and six others (including two Americans) were injured. Good idea to sit this one out. Here's all the death-defying action that you missed.

Heidi Klum and her singer husband Seal recently bought a new mansion, so they had to sell their old one. Someone picked up the property this week, but you can still take a tour around.

After reading this weird news story, you will never have to read another weird news story ever again. It has everything: an insane premise, crazy people, crushing irony, sex, crime, and sex crime. It seems an Irish woman died after an allergic reaction to a dog—a dog she had sex with. Yes. Really.

Koch Industries, the wealthy industrial corporation run by right-wing activist billionaires David and Charles Koch, recently got a standard-issue voicemail solicitation from Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee chair Sen. Patty Murray, asking for money. A simple "no, sorry" wouldn't suffice. The company's PR chief had to publish an arch letter condemning Murray for hypocrisy, along with a recording of her voicemail.

It seems that Zeus, mighty god of thunder and lightning, or Thor or somebody, is upset about the Casey Anthony murder trial. Mere hours after Anthony was told she'd soon be out of jail, lightning struck a makeshift memorial set up for Anthony's late daughter Caylee.

This week the Real Vibrator Batteries of DildoLand were even dirtier than usual. There was stripping, pasties, whips, boners, gender illusionists, and amputee midgets with strap-ons. And that was just in one of Sonja's dreams! Wait until you hear about what really happened.

It's summertime, so let's harvest some locally-grown, organic outrage. A Michigan woman is facing up to 93 days in jail for planting a vegetable garden in her own front yard.

An Iowa organization called The Family Leader has drawn up an extremely well detailed pledge for the Republican presidential candidates to sign called "The Marriage Vow." According to the group's CEO, the new pledge is "vitally necessary because the sanctity of marriage is in crisis and leadership is desperately needed." And now Michele Bachmann has become the first candidate to sign it! So what's in this beaut of a pledge?

A neurotic, motormouthed Octomom unleashed her children on the Today Show, and the result was complete mayhem. Above, Ann Curry chases down a runaway octobaby while another attempts electrocution by stage light. It's like watching someone tip over a giant bucket of marbles on a dancefloor.

The new monthly jobs report is out, and guess what? Unemployment is up to 9.2%, the economy only added 18,000 jobs (one-tenth of the number needed to find jobs for all the poor saps entering the workforce right now), we created 44,000 fewer jobs than we thought in April and May, 14.1 million Americans are out of work, and roving bandit gangs are lighting tire fires in the street outside your house right now.

Lady Gaga obsesses about her body. Megan Fox obsesses about her forehead. Ryan Phillippe's baby mama gives birth. Justin Timberlake's mom walked in on him having sex. Taylor Momsen starts a teen girl sex riot. TGIFriday gossip.