We are now living in a time in which the first generation in history that never experienced life before the internet is coming into cultural power. And it is awful.

This actor has been cheating on his wife for awhile and she may expose his sex tape during divorce proceedings. This actress is extremely ungrateful. And this aging rocker finally came out to his wife. She's supportive though, so she won't be airing any dirty laundry—or sex tapes.

As long as we allow her husband to occupy the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama is determined to continue her dangerous crusade to get America's kids in shape. Who is that lady to tell my baby he ain't eating right?

Is the mighty and fabled Abominable Snowman currently, as we speak, right this moment, trouncing around upper Russia, stealing livestock and what not? Well. It's certainly an issue over which experts can disagree.

Ever since Seattle waitress Victoria Liss Facebook-posted the awful tip she received from one Andrew Meyer—aka "You could stand to loose [sic] a few pounds" Guy—you've probably developed some negative feelings for Mr. Meyer, and possibly for other Andrew Meyers around the world. Andrew Meyers are similar to apples, in that a rotten one can spoil the whole barrel.

If you live in Wichita, Kansas, possess a scrotum, and enjoy confrontation, it's probably wise to wear your metal boxer-briefs for the next few weeks. Recently a Wichita man got into an argument with someone who stabbed him in the scrotum (which is not how you make friends!) and had to undergo surgery after part of the needle broke off and got stuck down there.

Bank of America is raising its fees. Citibank is raising its fees. Chase destroys lives. What's a frustrated, checkbook-owning 99 percenter to do? An LA art gallery owner has a suggestion: On November 5, celebrate Bank Transfer Day and ditch your corporate bank.

In the latest installment of our Guys Jumping Over Cars series, a Swedish man known as Al the Jumper calmly stands in the middle of a road while a Lamborghini Gallardo traveling at 50 mph speeds his way. Then, effortlessly, he leaps over the car just in time to avoid injuries and/or death. Those are some quick reflexes! In addition to Lamborghinis, Al jumps over other types of cars and also blue squares. [Motorward]

Eighty-one-year-old Phillip Winikoff isn't even a licensed breast examination doctor, so what was he doing offering free door-to-door breast examination services to female residents of a Coconut Creek, Florida apartment complex back in 2006? Perhaps we'll never know.

Here's your favorite conservative movie director from New Jersey who's on probation, Mr. James O'Keefe, who put on his best investment banker costume and went down to Occupy Wall Street the other day to film some protesters saying dumb or weird things. Among the folks O'Keefe and his crew ran into: a generous cake-eater, a guy who revealed that the protesters are being bankrolled by secretive union overlords, and another guy who invited him to "make a lot of money" by investing in a very real thing called the Constitutional World Federation. The constitution guy in particular is fully representative of every Occupy Wall Street protester, so O'Keefe's movie should be taken as an accurate depiction of the entire movement.

The NY Times has a follow-up on the 33 rescued Chilean miners, most of whom are unable to find jobs and find themselves poorer than a year ago, when their 69-day ordeal began. The sponsored trips to Israel, the U.K. and Disney World have all but dried up. What's left is a group of men suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder.

Rick Perry took a post-debate defeat lap around the Dartmouth College campus on Tuesday evening, during which he took questions from members of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity. Pressed on the issue of states' rights by one woman in attendance, Perry responded:

October 5th marked the 35th birthday of Chechnya's president, Ramzan Kadyrov, who was installed into office at age 30, three years after his father's assassination. Ramzan wanted celebrities at his party, and what Ramzan wants, Ramzan gets. So Hilary Swank, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Seal collected their checks, hopped a flight to Grozny, and got cozy with Ramzy!

Samuel L. Jackson registered a Twitter account more than two years ago, but never bothered to send out a single tweet. Then today, followers of @SamuelLJackson were greeted with a tweet that read, "Can-a muh fukkasay fuck on here?" Anyone wondering why Jackson decided to start tweeting today got their answer on tonight's Late Night: It was all thanks to Jimmy Fallon.

In the 1990s, if you went to The Limelight and asked a cigarette girl for a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity, he'd hand you a vial of primo meth. Try it in 2012, and you'll get a plate of flapjacks.

In honor of Tuesday's National Coming Out Day, MTV aired a special this evening called Coming Out, which followed two 20-somethings as they prepared to reveal to others that they're gay. One of the subjects was Nevin, an all-star rugby player for Ohio State University who decided to finally come out to his teammates. So how did it go? Watch the clip above to find out.

NYC's once-burgeoning comedy scene is fleeing for the West Coast. Splitsider has a roundtable discussion with key members of the exodus: "LA is the AIDS of the NYC comedy scene. One day, LA would just take a friend of yours."

Demented occult practitioner Michele Bachmann dropped a zinger into tonight's Bloomberg/Washington Post Republican presidential debate, telling Herman Cain that if he were to turn his "9-9-9" plan upside down, "I think the Devil's in the details."

Hopefully you've by now found some practical use for Gawker's Handy Guide to New York City's 1%, i.e. our magnate magnet, but in case it's been a late day at the office, fret not: Occupy Wall Street forces successfully mobilized today, targeting the Upper East Side homes of five of the city's top fat cats: News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch, conservative billionaire industrialist David Koch, real estate developer Howard Milstein, JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon and hedge fund manager John Paulson. All of them stand to save billions come December, when a state tax on millionaires is set to expire.

It's pretty much a given that when Susan Boyle performs on live television, she does so while standing completely still amid dim lighting and fake fog in some sort of floor-length "polygamy chic" dress. As a performer, Boyle is usually either truly great or tragically bad. Unfortunately, her rendition of the Righteous Brothers' "Unchained Melody" on tonight's Dancing with the Stars results show was closer to the latter.